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First Time Dating... Ever



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I'm creeping up on 30 and I've literally been on like, one date. He was this seemingly badass guy. I got there and watched him play some stupid basketball game, then we watched freaking Planet of the Apes with a bottle of wine I brought and when he went for it at the end I shut him down with an awkward side hug. I was mildly disgusted.

Am I a total b***h? I was just so put off.

I had sex when I was maybe 275lbs? But I just wanted to have sex for the sake of saying I'd had sex. I've never done it at a healthy weight or really a healthy mentality of what a good guy is like. I just wanted someone that wasn't going to reject me because of my weight. He'd seen pictures and stuff of me before blah blah, so I knew he wouldn't reject me for how I looked. The whole situation ended up being a mess and I had to threaten to call the police to get him to back off, so neither my sex nor dating history is awesome.

Are there any inspiring learned-to-date-after-surgery stories out there?

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14 hours ago, hurricanerin said:

...

Are there any inspiring learned-to-date-after-surgery stories out there?

I was married and my wife left me for another guy so I had to figure out how to start dating again in my 50s. I pretty quickly found that there isn't much of a market for old fat guys -- it was almost impossible to get a date. I was pretty damn lonely and depressed. After I had surgery and lost weight (about 90 pounds so far) it was suddenly much much easier to get dates. The first several were nothing special. I recently started seeing a woman who makes me feel like I'm 17 again. When she smiles at me and holds my hand I feel all warm inside. I'm pretty sure she's feeling it too.

Edited by CalGuy64

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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      · 0 replies
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