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Daughter of Futer Bander


Guest kid_of_bander

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Guest kid_of_bander

Hi,

My mom is 52 and getting the lapband surgery within the month. We have a ton of questions, but don't really know who to ask. If you have a moment, and think you may be able to help, please do

We are not planning on telling anyone about the surgery. This may seem odd, but there are some judgmental people in our lives -- namely my grandmother . Here are our questions...

Will my mom be able to keep her lapband a secret when she's eating out with other people? Meaning, will those who eat w/ her often realize that something is odd about what she is eating?

What can she eat, both post-op and permanently?

I do all of the grocery shopping and live with her; what can I do to help (i.e., comforting her, buying certain foods, etc.).

Thank you to everyone for your help!

Best regards,

Daughter

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I'm also not telling hardly anyone. I am not banded yet so can't help too much. I have started my preop diet (which is almost just like post op diet) and honestly no one pays attention. If you don't say anything no one will even notice. Anytime I'd mention a diet people around me would watch everything I eat. So this time I decided to be quiet about it and no one is even noticing. When ordering w/ friends I'd order just a Soup and if anyone gives me questions I'll just say that's all I wanted.

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I pretty much eat anything I want to, but omit things just because of the calories. I go out to eat often, and if I am with a group of people, when I can't eat it all I just push things around on the plate. People don't pay much attention unless you sit there without the fork in your hand. I've never once had anyone say anything about me not eating enough.

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If you're not going to be telling anyone, you guys better sit down and get your "story" straight beforehand, whatever it is you choose to disclose to people after the fact. I'm sorry your mom feels like she can't say anything. I've seen a lot of folks who had some problems from it...i.e., a lie begets a lie, begets a lie......but it's a personal choice. I personally decided to tell anyone and everyone because I refuse to give anyone that power over me. "Love me or leave me....support me or get out of the way" I have yet to regret any of it.

Is your mom reading the forum? She needs to so she can get prepared for surgery day and know what to expect and what to stock up with both food-wise and comfort-wise.

Initially at least she's going to need to steer clear of things like bread and rice, and any meats that are dry. Other than that (and those things may come with time) she'll find she can probably eat pretty much anything she ate before...only less....and a LOT SLOWER.

Sweetie, you are a real dollbaby for being proactive like you're doing and trying to get educated to help your mom. We'll be more than happy to answer any questions either of you guys have....at any time!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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