Hi,

My mom is 52 and getting the lapband surgery within the month. We have a ton of questions, but don't really know who to ask. If you have a moment, and think you may be able to help, please do

We are not planning on telling anyone about the surgery. This may seem odd, but there are some judgmental people in our lives -- namely my grandmother . Here are our questions...

Will my mom be able to keep her lapband a secret when she's eating out with other people? Meaning, will those who eat w/ her often realize that something is odd about what she is eating?

What can she eat, both post-op and permanently?

I do all of the grocery shopping and live with her; what can I do to help (i.e., comforting her, buying certain foods, etc.).

Thank you to everyone for your help!

Best regards,

Daughter

I'm also not telling hardly anyone. I am not banded yet so can't help too much. I have started my preop diet (which is almost just like post op diet) and honestly no one pays attention. If you don't say anything no one will even notice. Anytime I'd mention a diet people around me would watch everything I eat. So this time I decided to be quiet about it and no one is even noticing. When ordering w/ friends I'd order just a soup and if anyone gives me questions I'll just say that's all I wanted.

I pretty much eat anything I want to, but omit things just because of the calories. I go out to eat often, and if I am with a group of people, when I can't eat it all I just push things around on the plate. People don't pay much attention unless you sit there without the fork in your hand. I've never once had anyone say anything about me not eating enough.

If you're not going to be telling anyone, you guys better sit down and get your "story" straight beforehand, whatever it is you choose to disclose to people after the fact. I'm sorry your mom feels like she can't say anything. I've seen a lot of folks who had some problems from it...i.e., a lie begets a lie, begets a lie......but it's a personal choice. I personally decided to tell anyone and everyone because I refuse to give anyone that power over me. "Love me or leave me....support me or get out of the way" I have yet to regret any of it.

Is your mom reading the forum? She needs to so she can get prepared for surgery day and know what to expect and what to stock up with both food-wise and comfort-wise.

Initially at least she's going to need to steer clear of things like bread and rice, and any meats that are dry. Other than that (and those things may come with time) she'll find she can probably eat pretty much anything she ate before...only less....and a LOT SLOWER.

Sweetie, you are a real dollbaby for being proactive like you're doing and trying to get educated to help your mom. We'll be more than happy to answer any questions either of you guys have....at any time!