dissappointment and hunger

tellie · December 3, 2004

Hi everyone,

This is completely unrelated, I just need to get it out before I eat everything in sight. I am so angry, frustrated, and sad. A (travel agent)'friend" called last week telling me there was this amazing airfare to LAX but I needed to book and pay within a day. So I did, drove 60 kms to where she works, paid that, and went ahead and booked and paid for my connecting flights.

She calls me a week later to tell me she missed the deadline to confirm the booking, and if I want to go I need to pay 1000 dlls more! She was crying, so sorry, feeling so bad, she doesnt want to lose her job. BUT I cant pay more, nor should I! My husband is furious, wants to call the agency and complain and have them pay the difference (which would cost her her job). I havent told my parents that they wont be seeing their granddaughter for at least another year and I will have to pay a few hundred dollars on cancellation fees on the other tickets. What hurts the most is, I was already coping with the fact that we weren't going home for christmas, then we were, and now we are not again. I am hurt to think that she is taking advantage of the friendship to minimize her problem because I cant believe the other people in the situation are all happy to pay the extra money and wont do anything about it. ( she claims all herfriends were happy to do so to help her out, but then what about the perfect strangers who purchased similar tickets? aren't travel agencies insured against screw ups like this?)

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! sorry... I just cant stop eating since I heard, and since my band is empty, I can consume large amounts....why is it that is always food?

no matter what the emotion.....its always food.....

tellie

whippledaddy · December 3, 2004

She didn't have any trouble calling on your friendship to get the original booking, did she? I wouldn't feel too sorry for her. Business is business. Now if you truly believe that it is a legitimate mistake, and you can save her job with your magnanimous gesture, then do so without guilt.

But, I too, find it hard to believe that no one else will complain. I'm a very suspicious person when it comes to money. You shouldn't have to lose any money on this. You didn't wheedle her into giving you a raging deal. She approached you. Maybe she needs to lose her job and find something she is more suited for.

So, to review. She called you. There was a great hurry, giving you no time to think it over. Then the deal falls through. When they rush you honey, it ain't never on the level. Unless this is my best friend in the whole wide world, I would complain my hinie off until I got every red cent back. If she is your friend, this won't damage it. If you have to buy her friendship by taking it in the @#$#$ then that ain't no friend.

Just my two cents worth. But ultimately it's up to you, tough decision.

whippledaddy · December 3, 2004

Oh, yeah. And the food thing? Every ear in this place hears you. That's why we're here, the food thing.

Food to Celebrate, food to console. Food to comfort, food to fill the void. Food when we're bored, food when we're tired. Food when we're deliriously happy, food when our heart is broken. Food when it rains, food when it shines. It's all about the food.

It could be liquor, it could be spending, gambling, sex or compulsive vacuuming or hand washing. Food's the drug of choice, baby! Have another shot of french fries. Let's freebase some pie.

All we can do is feel our emotions. All we can do is hold on to the life preserver through times like this, hoping the next wave won't take us under. Hoping we won't go to the refrigerator. We know the comfort that will bring, and the sting of guilt when the feeding frenzy is over.

So what can you do? You can do your best, and if you make it through the storm, and the fresh light of a new day finds you weary but unbowed, the fridge door still un cracked, you can take pride in your accomplishment. It was a battle to be in the songs of heroes. But, if you should discover that the storm was too violent, and you were not strong enough, but you did eat like a berserk human vacuum, then have the good grace to be as kind to yourself as you are to others. I watched a boxer get knocked down three times once, but he got up each time to win the match.

Let the man count nine. Then get up and start swinging. It isn't losing this battle, or the next that decides if you win this war or not. The only way you can lose is to give up completely. Hang on. Get back up. Forgive yourself for taking one on the chin, and get to work on the good fight once again.

Get these feelings through your system as quickly as you can. Grieve your loss, and you are losing something in this situation. Grieve it. Own it. It's yours and you have a right to be bummed. You know your enemy, food, you know his tricks and devices. You have a band, though empty, I assume it will not always be so.

You can do it, Tellie. Wait and see how many people encourage you here. Read often. Read instead of eating. Read while eating if you must, but that is a bad habit, eh? But read. Share. Vent here, or PM me and vent. I can take it.

Best of luck, though a warrior like you really doesn't need luck, does she?

Penni60 · December 3, 2004

Yeah what Whipple said! And then some. Doesn't he just have a way with words?

Tellie: let me put this bug in your ear. She calls and informs you of a great deal but there is a deadline. You rush to make the arrangements. She calls and says she missed the deadline. Doesn't this sorta sound like she did it on purpose to get more money out of you? I am a suspicious person by nature. I do alot of booking flights online and I have never heard of deadlines for flights. I have heard of flights costing more if not booked farther out than two weeks. You should complain to the heavens. You should not pay the cancellation fees I would call the airlines personally and ask for a credit on your next flight plan. I would tell the booking agency to just try to get the $100 cancellation fee out of me. I would not authorize them to use your credit card for it. You should NOT have to pay anything else for anything since it was NOT your fault for the mix up. This is NOT a friend of yours if she isn't going to fix it for you. I certainly would not use her to book my flights anymore. By the way, call or PM or email (penni60@aol.com) and I will be happy to find a good flight for you anytime. I do it all the time for myself, my family, and yes my friends. I have never had a complaint. I have been doing this for almost 5 years now. Travel Agencies are for the most part a good thing but mostly they collect extra fees for finding you somthing you can find online or just by calling the airlines yourself.

Anyway, step away from the food and grab that phone and take your frustration out on the appropriate problem.

We all support you Tellie. Love the name by the way.

Alexandra · December 3, 2004

Ditto, ditto, ditto!! Last-minute deals are always a red flag, and if you were counting on her to do something on her end you have every right to expect redress. I know how hard it is when business mixes with friendship, but you should NOT be left holding the bag.

tellie · December 3, 2004

Hi and thank you all for your support. I called this woman again today to ask all the things I needed to know. She claims she got so excited with this "special offer" that she called all her friends as soon as she found out. The special deal was a 2 X 1 with United, from melbourne or sidney to LA for 1000 dlls less than qantas ( it has a similar deal, pay one fly two, but more expensive).

The last day to finalize bookings was last friday (US time) saturday morning here. I paid on friday morning, others in the same boat(plane rather) had paid the week before, as this was an offer for a limited time. She claims that she was told repeateadly by her boss to confirm to the airline that the bookings had been paid as soon as they were. She also claims that since the travel dates were many weeks away, she didnt think it was necesary to do so immediatly. When the time came to print the tickets, the system refused all the bookings since the date for confirmation had expired, its like they were never paid for since the money never left her hands. So, basically this is the deal, she wanted me to pay the extra 1000 and fly rather than get a refund, so she could still have a sale this month. I asked about the other people, and she said everyone had pulled out as well, and she will be in a lot of trouble. Now, I will be getting my money back (or so she claimed), except probably for the cancelation fees on the flights I booked myself (although she offered to pay for that).

So in the end, I may not have lost much money, but I wont get to see my family for at least another year, and that hurts so much more!

My husband still thinks the agency she works for should cover the cost. That would certainly get her at least fired, if not broke. I dont want to hurt her in any way. I know she is not telling me everything, I know that she is trying to do what she can to keep her job regardless of anyone else. And I know its human nature. I want to think I would, in her place, do the right thing.... but what is the right thing? I hate it so much when my idea of someone's character gets shattered.

Trying to minimize the impact of my binge, I went for tuna and salmon... I ate so much, straight out of the tins....yuck.... I dont really want to eat either of those for a while. Funnily enough... the caramel sauce that forced its way to my digestive track its still tempting.... go figure. Compulsive vaccuming sounds sooooo cooooool!!!!! why cant I have that instead??????

Thank you Whipple, Penny and Alexandra so much for your words, comments and specially for your time; for your offer to find good airfares Penny, thanx heaps. I will need to do some more crying before I can accept this really happened. Thank you so much....

Tellie

hagerteresa · December 3, 2004

Hi Tellie,

Sorry to hear about your plight... Stand FIRM!!! If you want to go on your trip I would push for the company to cover it. Your friend made a drastic mistake... If you just want your money back, I would not find it acceptable to pay the cancellation fees on any of the tickets. How good of a friends is she? Penni, I may have to take you up on finding good flight deals sometime. Good luck Tellie, Teresa

Marimaru · December 3, 2004

I completely think that your 'friend' should have to pay ALL of the cancellation fees on this. It's completely ridiculous. It sounds like she was even told by her boss exactly what she had to do to make sure that these rates were locked in.

You should consider calling the agency to go see your family. I can't imagine you'd be the only person that turns her in, besides, when they see her lack of sales for the month, they are going to wonder what's up, because I would venture to guess she was telling everyone how many of these she'd gotten.

Either way, the bottom line is that you do what you need to do for yourself. It's really kind of you to not want her to get in trouble, but she caused you a lot of pain with this mess...

tellie · December 4, 2004

Hi everyone and Thank you for your support. Life goes on, I think I have cried and yelled enough this past couple of days that the poison is almost out of my system. Thank you for letting me vent and for your replies.

I have, throughout this situation, forced myself to stand in her shoes, and I wouldnt want to be her if what she told me is the truth. But I have this nasty voice inside me that keeps telling me something is fishy, that I am missing some important piece of the puzzle.

That voice is what I need to get rid of now to be in peace again and be able to enjoy the wonderful things that are happening in my life. I want to be free.

I will wait and see how things develop, I will go ahead and cancell my flights and send her the bill, see how she responds. If she doesnt keep her word, I will reconsider my options.

Thank you again

tellie