Looking for help with my worries….

[TracyBar 132]

Hello everyone. I'm looking forward to hearing what you all have to say about sleeve surgery. From those that are considering it and those that have experienced it. I've spoken to a facilitator over the phone and email and hope to meet her mom who lives near me as she has had the surgery as well and is a facilitator too. She's also close in age to me (I'm 54) and I thought that meeting her face-to-face may help me make a decision.

I'm in Canada and the hospital is in Mexico - it has a Canadian connection (I think owned by a Canadian woman) and meets very high standards. Although it's in Mexico I don't feel worried about the level of care, or the abilities of the doctors and staff. I've asked a lot of questions of the facilitator - to the point where I think I've asked more questions, or taken more of her time than she wishes to give. That did turn me off a little - it was only two phone calls and a couple of emails. I guess they have their limit as per how much they get paid?

As the hospital is in Mexico I don't get to meet the surgeon to discuss things and that's a worry for me. I'm relying on facilitators with no medical background, just the fact they've been through it and have had some training.

My biggest worry: REGRET. This is a permanent procedure. I read something where somebody commented - "why would anybody want to remove a perfectly healthy, functioning body part?!" I get this - it's what makes this whole thing a bit on the bizarre side to me. And what if I just cannot STAND the changes? What if I feel nothing but sorrow and regret and horror at what I've done to myself? There's no going back - this thought haunts me in the time that I've been considering this as an option to weight loss.

I don't see myself as somebody that is super obsessed with food. Not once have I ever gotten up in the middle of the night to eat something - not one time. I don't overeat. I choose the wrong foods a lot of the time and I love chocolate. My servings at dinner are likely too big, but I've never just eaten non-stop. Don't eat a bag of Cookies, nothing like that. I noted that I was putting on weight at 9 years old. I distinctly remember the moment I was aware of this. I've battled weight gain for much of my life. The thinnest I've ever been was when I was eating around 1200 calories a day, and working out (literally!) 2-3 hours PER DAY. Yup. I was super fit and looked good. This of course, was before I had 3 children. I'm a Weight Watchers "joiner" as my friend and I refer to ourselves. Never a WW grad, always a joiner. I did Weight Loss Clinic in my early 20's and lost weight. Up and down, up and down. Always weighing more with each subsequent weight gain. I'm sure what I've said here is pretty close to what each of you have experienced.

How do I deal with this fear of regret? I can't seem to move past it. I hear what my facilitator says - she doesn't know anybody that has regretted it. She says she has many, many relatives and friends that have done this surgery and they all feel happy about their decision. But I'm also speaking to somebody who WORKS for the hospital and from my point of view, is trying to bring clients in for the money (cost is $13,600 just for me, no companion). A bit cost prohibitive for us, and I haven't mentioned a thing to my husband - he won't have a clue how I feel as he's never had a weight issue in his life - but he'll sure feel reluctant about the money spent!

We all have our stories about our rock bottom. In fact, I have many rock bottom stories - each one, at the time, I'm thinking it's the worst thing that's happened to me. The most embarrassing, the most demeaning, the most sad I've felt. I don't see these rock bottom occurrences stopping because I'm not losing any weight.

I've dieted my way all the way up to this weight (I'm guessing my weight is around 250 lbs.) and in the last few years I've given up on dieting. I'll just end up losing it once again and then gaining it all back +more, so why try? Why keep doing that?

My biggest worries are:

1) Regret - what if I regret my decision?

2) Age - is 54 too old to do this?

3) Post-op diet - along with the pre-op 800 cal. a day diet (wow!), I'm worried about the weeks of liquid diet. I have to work, how will I do it if I'm starving? (my job can be intense and I have to be on the ball all the time).

4) I have chronic Migraines and see a Neurologist. Will the weight loss alleviate/lessen migraines, or make them worse?

5) Will I ever actually enjoy food again? Or be able to? We have a favourite restaurant - would hate if I can never again enjoy that sort of outing

6) No caffeine, no alcohol! OMG - that's harsh! I love wine and would miss that. But think it's 6 months off of it? Caffeine. Due to migraines I'm not supposed to have it at all, but I now just have a tea in the morning so guess I could do that. I do love my tea and wine though :-)

I so appreciate any comments, good or bad, that you can offer me. I do want to be truly happy in my own skin. I can't picture myself on the plane, in Mexico (never been there), and in the hospital going through with this. It just doesn't seem like a reality. And I really am fearful of the entire thing. My income is very important to my family and I still have a young child (almost 11) to care for. What if I don't recover? What if I can't work and cause my family to suffer due to me wanting to look good (okay, and hopefully ward off diabetes and other weight-related issues). Ugh… I'm a mess! LOL

Tracy

[Christinamo7 4,041]

so - I feel like my whole digestive system was not a perfectly healthy working stomach. I had diabetes. and I believe Obesity to be a life altering and threatening disease in and of it's self. So I guess that's how I dealt with that aspect.

and once I was a ways out from surgery (almost 5 months) I could, if I chose, eat anything I wanted to now only in small portions. So, there's really nothing to regret from this perspective. I am pleased with my weight loss.

I have kids and grandkids too - and I had the surgery to be around for them. in my opinion if you are doing this to look good, you may be happy, or you may be saggy. if you are doing it to be an active, involved parent and be there for other loved ones, then I think you'll be very pleased.

the odds of something happening to you are greater by not loosing weight than from having surgery. for me personally, the only regret I would have had was not doing everything possible to fight for my health.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for to have peace of mind.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

1) Regret - what if I regret my decision? Unless you are unlucky and have a complication, I seriously doubt it. I thought I would regret it and miss out on a wonderful life with food but, my life is so much richer, and I still love and enjoy food.

2) Age - is 54 too old to do this? 54 isn't old, you probably have another 20-30 years of life, don't want to spend it fat and uncomfortable in bad health.

3) Post-op diet - along with the pre-op 800 cal. a day diet (wow!), I'm worried about the weeks of liquid diet. I have to work, how will I do it if I'm starving? (my job can be intense and I have to be on the ball all the time). The diet is tough I won't even lie. Not sure about doing a physical job, it will be hard, but you can live off 800 calories for a little while it won't kill you.

4) I have chronic Migraines and see a Neurologist. Will the weight loss alleviate/lessen migraines, or make them worse? Not sure, but low carbing is usually good for brain issues. I would see someone about getting botox injections for the migraines, research it.

5) Will I ever actually enjoy food again? Or be able to? We have a favourite restaurant - would hate if I can never again enjoy that sort of outing Yes. Maybe more than you do now. I still eat at my favorite places but I just order differently. I also find I can enjoy a lot of expensive and trendy resturants with small portions because they satisfy me in a way they didn't before. I can enjoy the flavors of food more, because my concern isn't on being full at the end just enjoying the food.

6) No caffeine, no alcohol! OMG - that's harsh! I love wine and would miss that. But think it's 6 months off of it? Caffeine. Due to migraines I'm not supposed to have it at all, but I now just have a tea in the morning so guess I could do that. I do love my tea and wine though :-) I drink coffee every day. I don't drink really but I didn't drink before surgery either. I can drink if I want to, I just don't want. I take a sip and I am not interested but there are plenty of people here that after hitting maintenance have a glass of wine with dinner each night.

Most of the big changes are short term, 6 months until you heal. Then once you are healed and the bulk of your weight is off, you can play with what works with you.

[TracyBar 132]

Thank you Christinamo7 and OutsideMatchinside. With your help I'm a little bit less worried and closer to my decision :-)

[Cindi_Augustine 99]

Like you I've battled weight all my life. Like you I was 54 when I had my surgery. I do have one regret: Why the hell couldn't I have had this surgery 30 years ago??

I thought I was "healthy". I thought I ate "reasonably well". I didn't have diabetes so I was fine carrying around an extra 100 lbs, right? Big is beautiful, I told myself.

Turns out I was having small undetectable strokes, and was aggravating a congenital heart condition that I may have to have open heart surgery to repair, now. I was a ticking time bomb.

I don't think this was a choice, so much as a chance to extend my life.

Eating out is definitely on longer the pleasure it was, but I don't even miss it because I have so many other joys now. Long walks with my husband or my camera. Buying sexy clothes. Having tons of energy at work, and after-work.

Surgery is scary. It's common that fear causes us to look for reasons to run. Just read this forum. We all had doubts. But I challenge you to find a post where someone says they wish they'd never had surgery. I'm willing to bet the only regrets are not doing it earlier, or having had to go somewhere dubious to have it done.

A new amazing life awaits. Be brave.

[TracyBar 132]

Like you I've battled weight all my life. Like you I was 54 when I had my surgery. I do have one regret: Why the hell couldn't I have had this surgery 30 years ago??

I thought I was "healthy". I thought I ate "reasonably well". I didn't have diabetes so I was fine carrying around an extra 100 lbs, right? Big is beautiful, I told myself.

Turns out I was having small undetectable strokes, and was aggravating a congenital heart condition that I may have to have open heart surgery to repair, now. I was a ticking time bomb.

I don't think this was a choice, so much as a chance to extend my life.

Eating out is definitely on longer the pleasure it was, but I don't even miss it because I have so many other joys now. Long walks with my husband or my camera. Buying sexy clothes. Having tons of energy at work, and after-work.

Surgery is scary. It's common that fear causes us to look for reasons to run. Just read this forum. We all had doubts. But I challenge you to find a post where someone says they wish they'd never had surgery. I'm willing to bet the only regrets are not doing it earlier, or having had to go somewhere dubious to have it done.

A new amazing life awaits. Be brave.

Thank you - I appreciate all the input. I wonder if I'll ever get to a place where I'm sure! I watched a couple of videos about the downsides of the surgery -brown smelly pee like the elderly, GERD, bad pains in muscles and joints, dehydration - and a lifetime of concentrating on every morsel you can get in. There are definitely a lot of people that are happy about the surgery. But how many are aggravated or sad about the downside? Do you have any of these problems now?? I see you've had your surgery for a while now. I also just read that Rosie O'Donnell had the sleeve and she said there was 2 months of severe pain - Wow! This stage of researching is confusing and terrifying - lol

[VEGAN ME 117]

Hi, my name it Deb I am 54 years old and had my sleeve done on june 6th in Portland, Oregon. I had really bad nausea after surgery but that's it! I didn't even have a sore throat. I can eat anything and drink anything (that is on my list) with no problems at all! I don't really feel any different at all except for 25 lbs lighter so far!!!

[lilmelisa 16]

I can relate to about 90% of what you are concerned about and did experience some buyer's remorse the first couple weeks after surgery now 48 days post op and eating solid foods again. I was hesitant to give up the food because I found comfort in it but as I lose weight find I don't need as much comfort. I too had my surgery in Mexico at the Obesity Control Center with dr. Ariel Ortiz. I'm not sure where you're going but they were wonderful and are available to email with questions at any time the surgeon will even reply personally. I didn't really go through a facilitator just directly with the clinic and that brought the cost down considerably because they get their percentage.

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Like you I've battled weight all my life. Like you I was 54 when I had my surgery. I do have one regret: Why the hell couldn't I have had this surgery 30 years ago??

I thought I was "healthy". I thought I ate "reasonably well". I didn't have diabetes so I was fine carrying around an extra 100 lbs, right? Big is beautiful, I told myself.

Turns out I was having small undetectable strokes, and was aggravating a congenital heart condition that I may have to have open heart surgery to repair, now. I was a ticking time bomb.

I don't think this was a choice, so much as a chance to extend my life.

Eating out is definitely on longer the pleasure it was, but I don't even miss it because I have so many other joys now. Long walks with my husband or my camera. Buying sexy clothes. Having tons of energy at work, and after-work.

Surgery is scary. It's common that fear causes us to look for reasons to run. Just read this forum. We all had doubts. But I challenge you to find a post where someone says they wish they'd never had surgery. I'm willing to bet the only regrets are not doing it earlier, or having had to go somewhere dubious to have it done.

A new amazing life awaits. Be brave.

Thank you - I appreciate all the input. I wonder if I'll ever get to a place where I'm sure! I watched a couple of videos about the downsides of the surgery -brown smelly pee like the elderly, GERD, bad pains in muscles and joints, dehydration - and a lifetime of concentrating on every morsel you can get in. There are definitely a lot of people that are happy about the surgery. But how many are aggravated or sad about the downside? Do you have any of these problems now?? I see you've had your surgery for a while now. I also just read that Rosie O'Donnell had the sleeve and she said there was 2 months of severe pain - Wow! This stage of researching is confusing and terrifying - lol

"Brown smelly pee like the elderly? "

Huh?

That sounds like a symptom of dehydration.

Initially, as in the first few weeks after surgery, it is difficult to get in enough Fluid, but it can be done.

Whether you have surgery or not staying hydrated is critical for health. Frankly, if you don't drink enough Fluid anyone's pee will be brown.

I just find it odd that this is what you are focusing on.

"A lifetime of concentrating on every morsel you can get in"?

Again, in the first few weeks after surgery,it can be physically difficult to to get in enough Protein, but that is temporary.

What in the world are you watching and reading?

[GinaCampbell 434]

She may be doing thorough research. Not everyone is happy that they had this surgery.

Some of us do have to concentrate on what we eat, how much Fluid etc.

Complications can change this from a great idea to a very poor one in a heartbeat.

I didn't know I might lose my gallbladder.

I didn't know that I might develop food revulsion.

Some of the changes that we go through are not temporary, like GERD. Or develop malnutrition if you cannot eat or take your Vitamins.

I cannot tolerate Protein at all and have been dehydrated for over six weeks.

I am also now lactose intolerant.

I have been living on less than 200 calories a day for over six weeks. I dream of 800 calories a day.

I can't drink coffee or tea either.

If you do your research thoroughly, good and bad, you will at least know enough to make a decision that you feel was an educated one.

Because I was not informed about these things as possibilities, I am genuinely annoyed at changing my life for good for the worst.

I am losing 7 to 10 lbs a week, mostly muscle.

I thought I would just follow the plan. Did my liquid diet, ordered in my greek yoghurt, Protein, etc.

But I can't eat anything. Have been on Clear liquids for over six weeks now.

All anyone says to me though is but look how much weight you lost!

I am already close to goal after losing nearly 60 lbs in six weeks. What happens when I want the weightloss to stop?

Being informed is a good thing!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Cindi_Augustine 99]

I would say that the only real side effect I have from the surgery (after the initial healing) is a bit of GERD occasionally, and sometimes forgetting to eat.

Is GERD fun? Nope! But it's way easier to cope with than sleep apnea, chronic back pain, Morton's Neuroma, aching knees...not to mention high blood pressure, and a restricted lifestyle.

I've had days when coping with the sleeve was annoying. Not being able to pig out at Christmas on my mom's amazing turkey dinner, for example. But when I weigh the pros and cons there is no contest.

Yes, doing thorough research is great, but in reality you can't believe everything you read. I think this forum is pretty fair and balanced, and definitely listen to your surgeon.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@TracyBar Are there any support groups in your area? I think it would be good to hear from others that have been through it. I would speak to someone more objective than the facilitator or her family. Complications are not common but they can happen. If you are fairly healthy to start - and follow your surgeon's guidelines - I wouldn't be overly concerned about complications. This decision of having WLS is so important and you need to be 100% sure (and not only doing this to look better). Good luck on your decision.

[TracyBar 132]

Like you I've battled weight all my life. Like you I was 54 when I had my surgery. I do have one regret: Why the hell couldn't I have had this surgery 30 years ago??

I thought I was "healthy". I thought I ate "reasonably well". I didn't have diabetes so I was fine carrying around an extra 100 lbs, right? Big is beautiful, I told myself.

Turns out I was having small undetectable strokes, and was aggravating a congenital heart condition that I may have to have open heart surgery to repair, now. I was a ticking time bomb.

I don't think this was a choice, so much as a chance to extend my life.

Eating out is definitely on longer the pleasure it was, but I don't even miss it because I have so many other joys now. Long walks with my husband or my camera. Buying sexy clothes. Having tons of energy at work, and after-work.

Surgery is scary. It's common that fear causes us to look for reasons to run. Just read this forum. We all had doubts. But I challenge you to find a post where someone says they wish they'd never had surgery. I'm willing to bet the only regrets are not doing it earlier, or having had to go somewhere dubious to have it done.

A new amazing life awaits. Be brave.

Thank you - I appreciate all the input. I wonder if I'll ever get to a place where I'm sure! I watched a couple of videos about the downsides of the surgery -brown smelly pee like the elderly, GERD, bad pains in muscles and joints, dehydration - and a lifetime of concentrating on every morsel you can get in. There are definitely a lot of people that are happy about the surgery. But how many are aggravated or sad about the downside? Do you have any of these problems now?? I see you've had your surgery for a while now. I also just read that Rosie O'Donnell had the sleeve and she said there was 2 months of severe pain - Wow! This stage of researching is confusing and terrifying - lol

"Brown smelly per like the elderly? "

Huh?

That sounds like a symptom of dehydration.

Initially, as in the first few weeks after surgery, it is difficult to get in enough Fluid, but it can be done.

Whether you have surgery or not staying hydrated is critical for health. Frankly, if you don't drink enough Fluid anyone's pee will be brown.

I just find it odd that this is what you are focusing on.

"A lifetime of concentrating on every morsel you can get in"?

Again, in the first few weeks after surgery,it can be physically difficult to to get in enough Protein, but that is temporary.

What in the world are you watching and reading?

Hi - I think you may be right about the brown pee/dehydration. One of the posters on here linked two videos from two people that have had the surgery (I think a couple years out) about the negatives of surgery that they wished they'd known prior to going in. For me, I have to know it all - good and bad - before I'd make a decision like this. I also want to know as much as possible before I speak with my GP. Maybe, just maybe, I may come to realize that if I'm willing to undergo surgery to lose weight, then perhaps the idea that going to such lengths will urge me to finally lose the weight and keep it off. I need to figure it out. All input here is relevant and helpful. Thank you for your input....

[TracyBar 132]

She may be doing thorough research. Not everyone is happy that they had this surgery.

Some of us do have to concentrate on what we eat, how much Fluid etc.

Complications can change this from a great idea to a very poor one in a heartbeat.

I didn't know I might lose my gallbladder.

I didn't know that I might develop food revulsion.

Some of the changes that we go through are not temporary, like GERD. Or develop malnutrition if you cannot eat or take your Vitamins.

I cannot tolerate Protein at all and have been dehydrated for over six weeks.

I am also now lactose intolerant.

I have been living on less than 200 calories a day for over six weeks. I dream of 800 calories a day.

I can't drink coffee or tea either.

If you do your research thoroughly, good and bad, you will at least know enough to make a decision that you feel was an educated one.

Because I was not informed about these things as possibilities, I am genuinely annoyed at changing my life for good for the worst.

I am losing 7 to 10 lbs a week, mostly muscle.

I thought I would just follow the plan. Did my liquid diet, ordered in my greek yoghurt, Protein, etc.

But I can't eat anything. Have been on Clear Liquids for over six weeks now.

All anyone says to me though is but look how much weight you lost!

I am already close to goal after losing nearly 60 lbs in six weeks. What happens when I want the weightloss to stop?

Being informed is a good thing!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hi GinaCampbell - thank you for responding. And yes, I'm doing my research. I won't go into this blind and in fact, I'm searching out information good and bad. Initially I did look at all the good stuff (and admittedly still do!) but then decided to focus my research on the bad in order to get the full story. It's easy to seek out good stories to support a decision to get the surgery when you really want to stop the weight battle. But it's permanent, and I knew that I would need to know it all before making a decision. Are you seeing a doctor to help you with the lack of fluids? Are you getting IV fluids? You may need this in order to start to feel better and get well. Perhaps once your fluids are up and you feel better you'll be able to tolerate food and then you'll be on the road to recovery. I really have no idea how it works after the surgery (there seems to be many differences) - but hoping you find some relief quickly. I don't think 200 calories a day is anywhere near safe for 6 weeks. Does it make you nauseous to have thicker liquids? I read somewhere that you should make your own broths so that you know you're getting good quality broth. It's easier to use the boxed or canned kind and maybe that's ok sometimes, but cooking down a chicken yourself would be better. Can the clear broth also have vegetables simmered in with the chicken? I assume you can have pureed foods by this point (if you could tolerate them)? I feel bad for you - but it's really helpful for me to hear the experiences of many. Are you working by the way? I have to work, no choice, so the idea that I could end up too sick to work would put my family in jeopardy financially and that most definitely worries me. Keep in touch - I'd like to hear how you're doing :-)

[TracyBar 132]

I would say that the only real side effect I have from the surgery (after the initial healing) is a bit of GERD occasionally, and sometimes forgetting to eat.

Is GERD fun? Nope! But it's way easier to cope with than sleep apnea, chronic back pain, Morton's Neuroma, aching knees...not to mention high blood pressure, and a restricted lifestyle.

I've had days when coping with the sleeve was annoying. Not being able to pig out at Christmas on my mom's amazing turkey dinner, for example. But when I weigh the pros and cons there is no contest.

Yes, doing thorough research is great, but in reality you can't believe everything you read. I think this forum is pretty fair and balanced, and definitely listen to your surgeon.

thanks - finding this board is great. I needed the perspective of people that don't represent a specific clinic. Talking to the facilitator that works for a clinic isn't the best. She is telling me what she's suppose to tell prospective people. I know there has to be SOME thing that can go wrong - but she said she, her mom and abou17 of her friends and family all had the operation and not any issues at all. just seemed a bit too good to be true...:-)