Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Relationship Issues



Recommended Posts

Hi everyone. I had my surgery in Feb and I'm loving the way I look. I'm very confident.. Maybe too confident. I've been with my gf for 2 years, but my eyes have started wandering. I don't want to cheat and I really love her, but it's hard to turn away the attention I'm getting. I've never had it before. There is a girl specifically I can't turn away from. She's the cutest thing, and way out of my league. I've never had such an opportunity. Has anyone else had this issue or similar? Of course, my gf is now super jealous because she sees the attention I get when we go out. I added a picture just to show the difference it's made this far. post-265006-14677817603726_thumb.jpg

Sent from my D6708 using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Firstly, you look great.. But secondly, remember who's been there when you were bigger and loved you regardless. Remember who helped you through surgery and recovery.. And has put up with this process and held your hand every step of the way. New attention is good, but remember who was there and what that means.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally understand new confidence and an absolute love of the new attention. Here are my thoughts about this situation:

- if you're this close to straying, maybe your current girlfriend is not the best match for you.

- would this new girl you like have been interested in you however many pounds ago? Would she have given you a second look before? Is that something that would bother you?

- the attention you're getting now is utterly superficial. the attention your girlfriend gave(gives) you is not.

the bottom line is that if you are able to seriously lust after someone who is not your so and are even contemplating leaving her for greener pastures, you're really not doing you or her any favors by continuing this way. You're just limiting yourself and you're making her watch as you slowly slip away from her, who loved you before you dropped weight, to other people who are only interested in you now that you're more conventionally attractive.

Good luck to you. These are the issues no doctor ever mentions, and no one can really help us with after major weight loss. We have to recreate entire new self-images and identities. Just make sure you're keeping a little perspective while that's happening.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • rlcpd

      Two months out from hiatal hernia repair.  Surgeon said to expect a lot more flatulence...something about the 'air' no longer being able to 'burp' out so comes out the other end.  That is my experience but have no understanding of why that swallowed air cannot be 'burped'. ???
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        As I understand it since your stomach is smaller and not completely resting against your diaphragm anymore you no longer have the ability to "push" burps out as well. Plus, since its smaller and we don't digest slower the trapped air moves a lot quicker out of the stomach so its no longer available to burp out. Hence the other option for removal.

    • Lizette1122

      Anyone had the TORe procedure? How did it go? How much weight did you loose? 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 3 replies
      1. Brookie2shoes

        Me too girl!! Are you in the full liquid diet right now? It’s sooooo hard!

      2. LadyVeteran1

        Not yet. I was told I only have to do 24 hours of a liquid diet. But I have my pre-op tomorrow so I’m going to confirm if I need to do longer.

      3. buildabetteranna

        Your so close now! It's gonna be great :) Wishing you a speedy recovery and looking forward to seeing how it goes!

    • buildabetteranna

      Down 33 lbs and slightly stalled, but I'm gonna reevaluate and push through. I started back to work last week after 2 years of being disabled due to mental health as well as my weight. It's a great job and I'm just so happy to have this opportunity at a second chance at life. Hope everyone is having their best journey ❤️ Together, we got this!
      · 2 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Great work Anna! Keep it up 😁

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×