Facing Reality

[Daisee68 2,493]

OK so like most of us probably, I hated taking pictures before (honestly I'm not crazy about it now) but in a conversation with my therapist the other day, I realized I am still not connecting either with how large I originally was or how thin I am now. So I am not posting these for compliments. I am just posting so I can see the reality of the 2 pics side by side and hopefully start to really understand both where I was and where I am now....

Sent from my HTC One M9 using the BariatricPal App

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

Congratulations on all of your hard work to lose your excess weight. You look great.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

I absolutely get your former and lingering discomfort in front of the camera. Internalizing and reconciling the before & after women isn't easy. Having pored over my photos got me nowhere. Instead I began to suspect that reviewing and making notes, whether written or mental, about who I was before, who I was after (I say "was" here because I've regained much of the weight I'd lost) and where they converge now is the way to go. Looking at photos just yet is confusing for me. As I grasp all my stages better, the photos will make better sense. I think.

Daisee, your recent photo shows a woman confident, proud and welcoming of the lens. If you felt uneasy, no one would guess it. There is more confidence in the older photo than you may know. You looked directly at the camera rather than off to the side or at the person sitting next to you.

You do look wonderful.

Edited June 30, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[KristenLe 5,979]

Whether you posted for compliments or not - you deserve them! ???? Congrats - you look beautiful!

[Daisee68 2,493]

Thanks so much guys! What's strange is I honestly see pretty much the same thing in both photos. What I mean is that when people say they don't recognize me, it is hard to understand because I feel like I look exactly the same but with a smaller butt! ????. I'm just not sure staring at these is going to sink in for me and maybe it doesn't need to. Maybe, as @WLSResources said, making notes (maybe reviewing old posts from this site) will help it sink in. Not sure it is truly body dysmorphia because I can see how thin I am. I just cannot grasp how different I looked before.

And PS thanks to all here for making this a safe place to post these and my thoughts!

Sent from my HTC One M9 using the BariatricPal App

[The Candidate 3,215]

You are beautiful - but then you always were, both inside and out!

I so completely understand what you're feeling though, and how hard it is to reconcile your personal image of yourself, with the reflection in the mirror. I struggle with that as well. I don't know that I'll ever stop "feeling" fat. It plays with your mind. It's hard to let go of a former vision of yourself that for nearly all our lives, has been negatively targeted for being fat in a thin favored society.

It's gets better though, at least it has for me, slowly, day by day, and I firmly believe that the best is still yet to be. We should be proud of what we've accomplished. We weren't just handed a second chance, we earned it. We deserve it. And we will keep on working hard to pay it the respect it so rightly deserves by leading healthy happy lives.

So on those days when you might feel a little unsure, just come back here and we'll remind you of just how wonderful you really are, my friend!

[ocgirl15 667]

It is hard not to compliment you because you really look beautiful! You were a beautiful obese person and now you are the picture of health! The mental aspect is the hardest part and congrats on facing it head on!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

You are a really lovely lady. I bet you killem in a sheath dress. Congrats on all the hard work.

[MrsSugarbabe 727]

You look amazing!! Congratulations on your success!!

I concur with all of the previous comments, too.

I can relate to your feelings about reconciling the former you with the current you, despite pictures and journal entries and posts and compliments and therapy.......... It takes our minds a whole lot longer to change.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Congratulations on the courageous act of posting your photos. I understand your feelings completely.

I spent the weekend at a conference so was in a hotel room that had a lot of mirrors. I spent some time looking at parts of myself I have avoided looking at for decades. I have cone a long way and still have a long way to go. It is so hard to compare how I feel inside to what I look like outside.

[Steph~L~16 168]

You deserve every compliment you are given! I totally understand, but I really think you look great!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@Daisee68

YAY!!!! Friend, I have been waiting for yours pics for a long time now! I am so glad you finally decided to share them. You are a beautiful person on the inside and the outside.

I appreciate the connection we have so much. I swear you are my therapist! LOL.

Beautiful!

[Daisee68 2,493]

Wow you guys know how to boost a girl's confidence!! Thank you!

@@The Candidate - What you said about "deserving" it and "earned" it is something I am working on. I mean I KNOW that WLS isn't the easy way out, but it is certainly the only successful way I have lost the weight and couldn't have done it without the WLS so I do still have trouble reconciling the fact that I did the work to get here using the tool of WLS instead of giving the WLS all the credit. Always work to do! Thanks for reminding me that I did the work after the surgeon did her part!

@@OutsideMatchInside - Thanks but actually I still got too much thigh to rock a sheath dress!! That is one of hopeful style go tos post plastics. For now, a fit and flare works really great hiding the thighs while highlighting the waist!

@@Inner Surfer Girl - I find myself doing the same - staring in the mirror at parts I have avoided. It is an interesting part of the journey isn't it?!

[Daisee68 2,493]

Awww.. Thanks @@Djmohr! Back at ya' friend!! So glad to see you back on here recently. Hoping that means you are on the mend!!

[mngreeneyes 674]

@@Daisee68

I understand how hard this is. I went to a birthday party for a friend last night and got to see a bunch of friends who I haven't really seen since surgery or longer. I know that I have changed a lot, but there were numerous people who had to do double takes when I waived at or said hi to them because they didn't recognize me. I know that I've lost a small person already 85+ lbs) but I don't think I've changed that much except in circumference.

I don't have any great before and after photos yet. My SIL has been taking photos every time I see them since a few days after surgery. I have a few of them, but nothing since Easter.

Congrats on your changes and Keep up the great work! You look fantastic and I am sure you feel great too.

pam