SAHM VS Working Mums

sweethot143 · August 28, 2007

Thankfully, I have the option of staying home with my beautiful little girls, 5 and 2. I did have to work with the oldest until the little one was born. i went back to work when she was 6 months. It worked out fine, my husband worked 2-11 and i worked 9-5, so a friend kept her for the 3 hour difference.

Anyway, I didn't realize how much of her life I missed until I quit working. there were so many precious little things she did all day that I missed out on. I came home to the cranky toddler who was about ready for bed in 2 hours.

For me, I think of it as this, My girls are only going to be children once, they are such precious gifts from God. It's my job to nurture them and teach them confidence and security. I don't want to look back when I'm old and regret all of the moments I gave up for a 9-5. All of the hours wasted on someone elses dream instead of my own children. I chose to have children and I choose to stay home with them.

of course, I fully understand that some people have to work to make ends meet. I was there myself. I have to say that if we had made better choices financially with choice of cars ect. I could have stayed home easily. We made bad choices early on before getting pregnant. Now we have it all paid off so I can stay home.

I firmly believe that if you can figure out a way to be able to stay home with your babies, then there will be great blessings for it. It is quite a personal sacrifice and not always easy, but it will be very worth it. their lives fly by, enjoy each and every moment. You won't remember all of those wasted hours working for someone else.

No one loves your children like you do, no one. I always keep that in mind.

angiec · August 29, 2007

I was a school teacher before I had my son, now 5. My husband and I were able to financially work things out to allow me to stay home with him and our now 2 and 1/2 year old daughter. After my first year at home we realized we needed extra income. I open a daycare and now have my own business. I have 3 wonderful families that entrust me with their children during the day and they and their children have become my extended family. Two of the moms would rather work outside the home (after both having the opportunity to stay home for the first year). It is hard being home all day with your children and hard being away from your children all day. I love having the opportunity to be with mine right now, but as soon as they are school age, I do plan to go back to teaching and hopefully will have the best of both worlds....interaction with adults and coming home around the same time my children do.

IMO...it is a decision that has to be made by the parents. If one is able to stay home with the kids, great, if neither are or choose not to...great..that gives business to us daycares! :rolleyes:

bluejay · September 11, 2007

I was a SAHM for almost two years. My son goes to daycare during the day because I work. He loves it at daycare. I think you should do what is right for you and your family. Everyone has a different situation.

Jachut · September 11, 2007

The thing I've found is that it doesnt get easier as they get older, it gets harder. Everyone seems to hang out till their kids get to school thinking that they can then go back to work.

I've found my input into my children's educations by being a classroom literacy assistant invaluable, and it breaks my heart that I wont be able to do that for Eliza, who starts school next year. But we had her um, accidentally, and not many people are in a position to stay at home for 20 years, which is what it would end up being if I waited till she was ten or so till I returned to work.

childcare makes it all so easy, once you're dealing with school hours and sporting activities, ack, its a freaking nightmare. I've only had to do it for a month and I need a holiday and some valium. There's been a couple of near disasters and some raised eyebrows when I wasnt available and couldnt be contacted to collect Eliza from kinder because she had yes, two, lice eggs in her hair!

Kat817 · September 11, 2007

We all bring different backgrounds, beliefs and attitudes when we have kids. I tried going back to work when my oldest DD was 6 months old, and was a miserable wreck!!! Just as some of you say you could not see staying home, I had hell everyday leaving, even though she was with my SIL.

In the end, I stayed home. When I found myself divorcing a year or so later, I once again went to work---miserable. Even more miserable when I saw how much day care expenses ate up my check!!! I did the same thing Angie above did---I started out doing home based day care in my home. I started classes, in early childhood developement, licensed myself---and went full steam ahead!

I did that for nearly 20 years!!!! I saw both types of families. Ones where the idea of staying home was never even entertained. Others who drug themselves away every day!

I managed to support myself, buy a home, and run the day care for several years, before my DH entered into the picture.

I had children long term.....many of them from infancy through til they no longer needed anyone to watch them. The teenager who occasionally babysits for my granddaughter, was one of "my kids"---I began with her when she was 5 1/2 weeks old---and she quit coming to me her 2nd year of middle school. Long after she needed taken care of, but she lived quite a distance from town, and was all alone, she preferred coming here! She was my last child, when I quit, Megan just refused to quit coming!!! She is now in high school, and still drops by minimally once or twice a week. This is without a doubt her home away from home. I am her legal guardian if something should have happened to her parents.

This is not meant to sound smug---but if I had found someone to love and care for my child the way I tried to care for the little ones I kept---it may have worked out.

Now I am no longer in the business, I take care of grandkids only...and Megan still comes!!!

I get calls now from several of "my kids" wanting me to watch their kids!!!! If life was not the chaotic mess it has been this last year I might have considered it---kids are such fun to have around....thank goodness for my grandbabies!!!

Kellie---especially in the situation you have I see no issue, your child is getting special time with Dad---sounds like you have it all figured out, and there is no reason to flame anyone, it is a stupid arguement SAHM vs. working moms. We do what we do, that is needed, whether the need is financial, or emotional.

Kat

madfroglady · September 19, 2007

I am a full time worker and a full time parent. I really resent the flack I get from the folks (not here) that insist I am hurting my boys (ages 7 and 3) by having them in Full time day care. Older was in daycare from 12 months and younger was in daycare from 3 months. My older son has special needs and day care/school give him something that I never could: unpredictable challenge of a normal social life with other kids.

As for the folks who say "I didn't have kids to have someone else raise them." I respond, " neither did I." The daycare and school are not raising my kids; my husband and I are. They provide a warm, loving, intersting, challenging environment during the day. DH and I provide love, family, moral education, character development and discipline. Why can't it be a "both-and" rather than an "either-or"?

Frog.