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I need support...

DeannW1114

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DeannW1114    15

DeannW1114
Posted

I'm going to apologize first off because I know I'm going to babble and ramble on. I'm getting vertical gastric sleeve surgery on June 6th. This last Monday I started my two week liquid pre op diet. It's only Wednesday night and I'm really questioning everything.

I now realize how much of an unhealthy relationship I have with food. I love to cook and go out to new restaurants and bars and I just feel like I'm going to lose who I am in a sense after this surgery. My husband and I love to do these things together and I feel like now we're going to have to change everything we have done together since we've known each other. I know it's going to better my life and that's all I've wanted for years and years but now that it's here I am scared. Shitless.

I'm mainly scared that I'm not mentally strong enough for all of these changes in my life. Any kind of like support would be helpful here please.

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KristenLe    5,980

KristenLe
Posted

I would encourage counseling. I'm going and actually pleasantly surprised at how helpful it's been. Your life will change but for the better. You will be able to do much more than sitting in a restaurant or bar. Although - you don't have to give that up either. After a few months (or sooner) - you can still enjoy going out. You'll just need to make smart choices when ordering. I sound a lot like you and I plan on still cooking, going to restaurants and bars. I just won't be eating and drinking the same way. I've already been looking at menus for good meal ideas for after surgery. It's normal to be scared. Is your husband being supportive?

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Avettgirl    13

Avettgirl
Posted

I know just how you feel--I am 6/3/16. Week one pre-op diet. Kicking my butt. I just know I have to change. We can eventually eat real food again. We just will have time to learn how to have a healthy relationship with food. At least this is how I am looking at it now. I am the same -a total foodie. I have always loved to cook and try new foods. I just got my priorities out of whack. I want be able to try new foods with my son as he grows. It is new way of thinking. Change isn't always a bad thing. I agree with the above--counseling and group therapy. Probably not a bad idea. Prayers and love for success.

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Christinamo7    4,042

Christinamo7
Posted

I think in the first 3 months you will probably not be doing a lot of this.

but, I don't miss what I'm not wanting right now.

I love to cook and make new recipes, play with food basically. That is coming back. I have no desire to bake yet, but I think that will come back later.

once I got back on regular foods at a month I have found most restaurants have choices that are good for me - but I will probably have 3-4 meals out of it. So, don't worry I think other than nesting in until you are on regular foods you will be fine.

And, I think you and your husband can adapt and find things to enjoy. When I had a hysterectomy last fall I had to rest a LOT during recovery so my husband had us watching all the star trek tv shows. Whatever else you like you can find things to share.

We will be here and I can't wait to see your progress!

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kimnsc    8

kimnsc
Posted

I'm worried about pre-op too.... I guess we just have to change our way of thinking...... Mind over matter....... Avertgirl ur having urs on my birthday, I'm sure you will do great!!!!

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Avettgirl    13

Avettgirl
Posted

@@kimnsc That has to be good luck! Early Happy Birthday to you!!

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GoingRogue    53

GoingRogue
Posted

The pending surgery has me thinking about the same thing and I realize how much of my family's life revolves around food. It's pretty sickening to think about it. I told my wife we would have to come up with other things to do besides eat. But as someone already said you will be able to do more than you could before. Eating is easy. Soon a bunch of things will be easy!

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stevencornell69    107

stevencornell69
Posted

We've all been there. Especially when you're about 5 days into the all liquid diet and can't muster any thought besides "this sucks!" The most important part of the pre op diet is the last 3 days. Hint. Post op the first 3 days suck. Pure suck. Uncomfortable (not really pain), surreal, confusing. By day 5 you'll have energy and start going from shock to adjusting. Can you tell him not sugar coating it? From there is about following the liquid then soft food guidelines. I didn't get all my Protein or Water. Still don't. But I do try everyday. That's the key. 40+ grams a day, yes. Most days. Not all. And 40 grams is below target. Oh well. I was sleeved on 3/29. I'm down 48lbs and have exercised exactly twice. Ankle injury 5 days post op is healing now. 48lbs! No hunger. No exercise. And no, I'm not a poster child for doing it right. But I did have to go buy all new clothes 7 weeks post op. I do enjoy the best food because it's 3 meals for me. And I didn't tell ANYONE about surgery. My story is hypnosis and acupuncture. No joke. My office friends are amazed at how powerful hypnotherapy is . In short. Do it. Don't look back. You will still love and enjoy food. In small quantities, and you'll be full.

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DeannW1114    15

DeannW1114
Posted

Thank you all soooo so much for even just responding to my post. It makes me feel a lot less alone in this journey. I appreciate all the support like you wouldn't believe <3

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DeannW1114    15

DeannW1114
Posted

I would encourage counseling. I'm going and actually pleasantly surprised at how helpful it's been. Your life will change but for the better. You will be able to do much more than sitting in a restaurant or bar. Although - you don't have to give that up either. After a few months (or sooner) - you can still enjoy going out. You'll just need to make smart choices when ordering. I sound a lot like you and I plan on still cooking, going to restaurants and bars. I just won't be eating and drinking the same way. I've already been looking at menus for good meal ideas for after surgery. It's normal to be scared. Is your husband being supportive?

Sent from my KFFOWI using the BariatricPal App

Yeah my husband is being very supportive, I couldn't ask for a better man by my side. He's looking at it as something that will also make him healthier and we do this together. I've though about speaking to a counceler about all of this but I wasn't sure if they'd look at me crazy because of the reasons I want to talk to them :/ I need to find someone specific to eating addictions or something like that. Thank you so much for your support :)

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onehappychick    45

onehappychick
Posted

This freaking liquid diet has me questioning everything! I figure though once 75-80% of my stomach is removed it should be easier to follow the post op diet. I am on day 3 of the liquid diet and I feel like s***!

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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