Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Need prayers please.



Recommended Posts

I think counseling will help you talk this out with an objective person and guide you towards what is best for you....I'm rooting for you and your children... He doesn't sound like he working towards the same goal as you...

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited by nyteacher125

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Twinmomma422

Sorry about your situation. I agree that even if he doesn't want to go, counseling for you would be a great idea. Hang in there!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Time and time again I have seen many people speculate on causes of problems, and they are usually wrong. Hopefully some prayer, some time for perspective will help.

I didn't run out, but I remember one time when the pressures of life got me so bad that I told my wife at the time, "I'm going to that monastery for the weekend and locking myself in one of their cells with a Bible and no cell phone." It was actually a good call. Got some perspective. Figured out why I was feeling out of control. It can be a good thing as long as your not stupid. I'm glad he didn't isolate himself from the kids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank y'all so much. I just miss him so much. I try and be strong but I'm so lost without him. :-/

I've been thinking about looking into counseling for myself. Can you do marriage counseling without the other spouse?

You can go to counseling with or without him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not a pro on this but we are told to go to support groups and such and we have specialist's to speak to.

A fear of mine, surgery date 6/14, is leaving my wife to fend for herself while I will hardly be eating.

Have you and your husband continued to meet for lunch?

Did he take a back seat to your WLS needs? Just saying, I know I need to concentrate on me when I have the surgery but I have to worry about not forgetting my wife as eating dinner is our social time.

I hope things work out for the best.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We continued to eat lunch together until he left. He was always very supportive of my weight loss. Until I got closer to goal and he got a little insecure I believe. We are still on bad terms. More him than I. I just want to talk to him and be friends and he continues to act like a stranger to me. I'm still clueless as to why it all happened.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We continued to eat lunch together until he left. He was always very supportive of my weight loss. Until I got closer to goal and he got a little insecure I believe. We are still on bad terms. More him than I. I just want to talk to him and be friends and he continues to act like a stranger to me. I'm still clueless as to why it all happened.

You may not get any ready answers soon as he may not know why, either.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will pray for you and your family. Stay encouraged and know you can't make anyone do anything but you can make them not do it. Smile, take care of your kids, seek God and leave the results up to Him

DSLdiversity

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are most welcome!

DSLdiversity

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Prayers for you,

but when you ask God for things, like a child asking a Father for a blessing, you have to listen to the answer...

where do you get those answers? By reading your Bible! Don't just ask, read his word and get your answers.

You will find peace and clarity. Hoping you get the tranquility you need to get through this tough time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@twinmomma442

Going out on the same limb as Anna Nim

I have read all your responses to the original post, So here goes,

I am truly sorry for the situation in which you find yourself currently, and Your estranged Husband may have all the

health concerns you mentioned, and he may be involved as you say with his children.....

However, Men often keep their insecurities hidden, He is totally living a

Separate life when he is not with you and has been for some time, and I am just gonna say it, He is and has been having an affair in some fashion, via internet, facetime, or in the real......but I promise you "conversations" are cheating.

STOP Pining away over a Man, who is not able to be who you thought he was.....and YOU have to be okay with that, with being on your own, Standing in the Present Woman that you are.

YOU need to stand up and be strong...get a key to his apartment and a sitter for the boys and do what you need to do.

Stop chasing him, @@Anna Nim, Anna is speaking truth, stop chasing him, calling after him, "checking" him. He is a grown a$$ man, let him think he has it all figured out.....

I am sure you don't feel strong, I am sure you are doubting yourself, I am sure you are looking around your home and thinking why would he want to leave this, leave us, leave the ones that love him the most? You may never get those answers, I am very sorry to say, Many a good woman has been left behind for something else.

I would never want a marriage to dissolve under any circumstances, so I will of course Pray for you and your boys and your husband, I will also pray God gives you the eyes to see what you need to see, the Mind to make the choices that need to be made, and the heart to Love yourself and your boys through this situation.

In closing I am just another woman whom has graduated from the School of Hard Knocks~~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Since knowledge is power, I wanted to share a site that saved me in so many ways and I can not speak good enough about..

Let Me Reach by Kim Saeed Kim is on Facebook and Online and writes about narcissism recovery and it's effect on relationships in quick, bitable articles & is amazingly supportive. I had light bulbs explode in my head, the past and the current finally made some sense. Best suff I have ever read-and I have one of those oh-so-useful degrees in psychology!

When it falls apart, nothing makes sense; the stories, the reasons and the equation in a relationship is just not adding up.. this may be what is going on!

I 'thought' I knew what narcissism was, but I found it wasn't that simple. Also, a person does not have to have "all" the traits to fall under this category. To me, it seems the whole Co-Dependent/Narcissism manipulative dynamic is at the root of so much pain.

Kim's site is a total lifesaver!

Good Luck Peeps!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×