I was sleeved on 3/7/16. I had some complications and was off of work for a total of 7 weeks. When I came back I had a lot of coworkers who have been super supportive and have been encouraging me through my journey. I have been an open book with everyone about my journey. The problem is I have one coworker who came up to me yesterday and wanted to talk to me in private. She is a little bigger and I thought she was going to ask me for advice. Instead she told me that she doesn't understand why I did the surgery. She said in the 2 years she has worked with me she has never seen me try to diet or anything (which isn't true) and she said that I shouldn't have done the surgery snd I should have tried harder. She doesn't know my past and how I have struggled for years of dieting and failing. She said that I should have tried harder with dieting. By time I had stated working with her I had severe depression and had given up on weight loss working for me.

She was really upset that the other day I had gone to Subway with some other coworkers and had gotten a salad, which she didn't go, and I had gotten less lettuce and more Protein, and also added my own protein that I brought (because I was prepared and knew I was going) she said that I shouldn't be going out and that I should be bringing my own food, that I am falling into my old ways and that I am going to fail at this weight loss too. She said she isn't the only one that feels that way at work and that there are others but they won't come up to me and tell me. I'm not sure of the truth to that, but it makes me feel extremely self conscious while I am at work.

This is the first time I've had anyone have negative response to my surgery. I feel really defeated about this and it is bothering me so much more than I feel it should. Any advise?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Sounds to me like you have a hater. If she wants to loose weight also she needs get the surgery and stop getting in your business. Don't pay her mind misery loves company. And it shouldn't matter what she thinks as long as you are happy about your decision and are feeling great

I'll never understand why people think they have a right to tell you what's best for you. That said, I'm finding it necessary to be less diplomatic when people share their opinions.

I'll never understand why people think they have a right to tell you what's best for you. That said, I'm finding it necessary to be less diplomatic when people share their opinions.

Me either, but I'm really libertarian. We have both major political parties interfering in different aspects of our lives. There are moral crusaders of all stripes trying to tell us what is best for us. And I am completely befuddled by it because I either don't care, or care enough to offer support, but only to someone who wants it.

“One of the most cherished of all rights is the right to be left alone.”― Supreme Court Justice Brandeis

Im so sorry that you're going through that, that sounds tough...to be honest, to me, this chick just sounds like a hater! She's probably upset/jealous that you made the decision to get healthy. 73 lbs lost is awesome! Please don't let someone else's negativity darken your bright moment. I have to wonder what it is that she is doing to better herself...sorry it's just people like that get me so mad

Next time she says something gross and offensive (try to say it with a straight face): "thanks for your concern and support! It means so much to me!"

After that: "aren't YOU sweet to be concerned about ME. Bless your heart." (look surprised and meaningful)

Repeat as necessary . . .

The best advice!!

I say its a perfect time for a cute outfit to really show the 73lb loss! Yeah!

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

I hear jealousy. And bitterness. Sounds to me like this woman is battling her own demons and taking it out on you. Ignore and avoid.

If she was such an expert on weight loss I don't think she would be bigger as you describe her...She overstepped her boundaries and should have been put in her place. I think it's very appropriate for you to say, you said this to me I would like to let you know you don't know my history with struggling with weight, I'm not going to share it now either. I made a choice that was right for me and your comments/judgements were not appreciate. She should be apologizing, don't hold your breathe for that. We often don't call people out on their comments instead we look for reasons to understand why they said it. There's no excuse for being nasty.

She asked to speak to you privately wasn't like she just blurted it out so it was something she gave thought to.

Stay strong and keep focused on your goals

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited May 27, 201610 yr by nyteacher125

73 pounds? Amazing, congratulations and of course she is jealous!!!

Being Christian we try Not to offend, that being said. Ask her to read 1 Thessalonians 4:11 , "mind your own business "!

Sent from my SM-G530T1 using the BariatricPal App

She sound like negative Nancy & debby down trying to rain on your parade. Be proud of your choice & keep it moving boo! & for her to come to you like that might be a hippa violation, tell her to back off.

Sent from my LGMS631 using the BariatricPal App

You know what, there are always going to be haters. tell her if she cant be supportive then she needs to be quiet. you don't need her sometimes you got to cut them loose

@@jenmcd623

I've no idea what other advice you've received in this thread because I've not read the responses...

I'm kinda like that sometimes...

Anyway, here's what I think...

In your original post, you said the following -
"This is the first time I've had anyone have negative response to my surgery."

The first time!

How great is it that everyone you've mentioned it to has been supportive?

I think that's outstanding!!

So why let this one negative person get to you?

The reality is, those who were supportive have also judged you..

They just came to a different decision..

We ALL judge people ALL the time..

Just because it doesn't always result in a negative doesn't mean we're not judging...

In my opinion (and that's all this is), disregard this person's negativity.

You don't need it.

Don't focus on it.

Focus on the rest of the people who have judged you and your situation and found you worthy of their support...

^{Prayers going "Shimmy shimmy cocoa pop; Shimmy shimmy rock.."}

Everyone has said what I could..but yeah, ignore her. She is feeling a bit threatened as you both were similar weights and now you have taken a drastic step. She is projecting that old, 'try harder' myth on you.

If "people" have been gossiping, don't worry, people gossip about everything and everyone at work, but actually care little. Eat and do whatever YOU want.

A friend's mother once said ' better to be looked over than overlooked' and I have remembered that. However, that friend was the one person who I didn't tell that I was having WLS. She thinks she knows everything and I really couldn't be bothered to explain to her. I have used the ' oh, so when did you last qualify as a doctor?' on her before and it shut her up at the time but she has a very short memory! I knew that her response to me having surgery would be negative. A mutual chum did tell her and apparently she was very quiet about the whole thing. She knew it was a case of put up with it or STFU! She has STFU. No comments. Zilch. Just the odd mention about the fact that I am losing weight but it sticks in her throat. Why? I'm now slimmer than she is and she looks really mumsy whereas I am now rockin' the clothes!!!!!

So..........the point of all this waffling on is to say to you, tell your co-worker to FO, mind her own business and to be honest I would either do it front of all the supposed colleagues who have supposedly been indulging in Chinese whispers in the loudest possible voice that I could muster but without shouting, or of course, go to HR and complain as she is overstepping any boundaries that are acceptable, in any form.

Keep going with the poundage pounding and enjoy each ounce dropping off you. You are doing brilliantly so hold your head up and smile-especially at the witch from work!