Conflicting Information From Doctors/Patients And My Fears

[sgc 538]

I have read time and again that the changes are mental, so why exactly should one get the surgery and what is it going to do for someone 1, 5, or 10 years down the road?

[tgun25 29]

To the OP:

After reading all your responses to everyone, I think, yeah -- you shouldn't have WLS.

You're not even close to understanding or being able to make the changes necessary to be a successful WLS patient in the long-term.

For some reason, even though you weigh 440 pounds and think that eating 50 buffalo wings means you have a "portion problem," you think you can negotiate the terms of what it will take to reach a normal weight and become healthy.

Get a therapist. That's not an insult. It's sincere advice.

No worries - I have seen many a therapist.

I do think some people here have an all or nothing position, where as others say that it doesn't have to be that way to be successful per my comments to Alex Brecher (in response to his comments).

The thing is - the doctors/nutritionists may tell me that I am not ready to have the surgery, so we shall see. It may not even be a choice that I make. They can not allow me to have the surgery if they feel that I am not ready.

I personally think you, me, and anyone considering WLS needs to be comfortable with the idea that we'll have to make some sacrifices with food & beverages. Not quite an all or nothing outlook but you may have to give up soda. You may have to say goodbye to certain foods.

I'm quite at peace with this train of thought because I know that living longer for my wife and kids is far, far more important than indulging in some food.

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Edited April 25, 2016 by tgun25

[Hey Man 21]

My turn:

This June I will be 5 years out from the day I had 90% of my stomach removed. The following are my daily "companions"

I am one of the 17% of sleevers who experience Dumping Syndrome.

I can not tolerate anything spicy--even bar-b-q sauce makes me vomit--or wanting to

I can not tolerate anything overly sweet without dumping.

I can not tolerate anything overly rich or greasy without dumping.

I do NOT feel any hunger.

I have to set my cell phone alarm to remind me to eat or risk getting a Migraine

Five years out and I can maybe eat two chicken wings--maybe---not spicy.

If nothing else, I have learned to work with my sleeve, not against it. I take its "will" as sacrosanct. I still feel its restriction and when it says, "enough", my fork goes down--not one mouthful more- or risk "hitting the wall" and dumping.

Was I a happy fat woman? You bet! I had WLS because my bones could no longer support my weight. When I could no longer do the activities that I could do and my options were either have WLS or end up in a wheelchair, well--no brainer. Do I regret being sleeved? Not for one second these days.

Your body sounds to me like it is shouting to you,"HELP ME!", but your brain is not listening. When the time comes and your brain is finally in sync with your body, then and only then will you know what to do. There won't be any "this or that", "what ifs", "but I heard this" or " if only". You will know.

Sound simple? yep. When the time is right, it is that simple.

Then you will be ready.

Prayers going up for you.

If I knew for sure that what you are experiencing - I would also experience. I wouldn't do it. It might take me forever, but I would lose the weight with calories in/calories out.

The only reason why I am not doing that now is because my current weight is overwhelming and the idea of losing a pound or two a week isn't motivating. It helps and keeps you going when you can see the weight loss and it will be a long while before I see that.

[Hey Man 21]

To the OP:

After reading all your responses to everyone, I think, yeah -- you shouldn't have WLS.

You're not even close to understanding or being able to make the changes necessary to be a successful WLS patient in the long-term.

For some reason, even though you weigh 440 pounds and think that eating 50 buffalo wings means you have a "portion problem," you think you can negotiate the terms of what it will take to reach a normal weight and become healthy.

Get a therapist. That's not an insult. It's sincere advice.

No worries - I have seen many a therapist.

I do think some people here have an all or nothing position, where as others say that it doesn't have to be that way to be successful per my comments to Alex Brecher (in response to his comments).

The thing is - the doctors/nutritionists may tell me that I am not ready to have the surgery, so we shall see. It may not even be a choice that I make. They can not allow me to have the surgery if they feel that I am not ready.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I can't see your response.

[Valentina 2,642]

Then your body and your mind are not in sync, therefore you are not ready.

There are never any guarantees in life, friend.

You can always do nothing.

How's that working for you????

[Hey Man 21]

Then your body and your mind are not in sync, therefore you are not ready.

You can always do nothing.

How's that working for you????

It has nothing to do with that. Surgery of this type is not some simple decision. You can't reverse it. I think one would be stupid not to ask the questions that I am asking or have the concerns that I have.

Some people don't care about the negatives as long as they are thin and look good in a pair of jeans again. There is more to this just being thin, so I am not one of those people. Per my doctor - I am very healthy despite my weight and while it will catch up to me, then is more ways than one to lose weight.

Clearly there are some people that do get the surgery, because they see it as the easiest way to lose weight.

If I decide that this is not right for me - through my decision or the doctors decide for me, I will know that this is no longer an option for me and focus on another way to lose weight, which I am fine with - it will just take longer.

Edited April 25, 2016 by Hey Man

[jane13 2,256]

@@Hey Man good luck.

I had no doubt at 282 lbs and 52 years old that I needed help. I eat a slice of pizza, a couple of wings and occasionally I have a small glass of wine.

I have no regrets about getting rid of 85% of my stomach.

[kmorri 1,689]

I don't think you're going to find ANYONE here on this site that thinks this is the easiest option!......

Clearly there are some people that do get the surgery, because they see it as the easiest way to lose weight.

[Kindle 8,667]

Clearly there are some people that do get the surgery, because they see it as the easiest way to lose weight.

.

Oh boy, you sure opened a can of worms with that statement! And I'll be the first to respond......I did not have surgery because it was the easy way. After 30+ years of failing to maintain any significant loss through traditional "dieting" I had surgery because it was the ONLY way. Easy is the last word I'd use to describe life after WLS.

you are clearly not ready for the kind of commitment that WLS requires. Good luck.

[2goldengirl 2,076]

Some people don't care about the negatives as long as they are thin and look good in a pair of jeans again. There is more to this just being thin, so I am not one of those people. Per my doctor - I am very healthy despite my weight and while it will catch up to me, then is more ways than one to lose weight.

Clearly there are some people that do get the surgery, because they see it as the easiest way to lose weight.

If I decide that this is not right for me - through my decision or the doctors decide for me, I will know that this is no longer an option for me and focus on another way to lose weight, which I am fine with - it will just take longer.

I need to correct a couple misconceptions here. I've only been on these boards for six months, but I can tell you that "looking good in a pair of jeans again" is not the driver for most of us. Do we enjoy it once we get there? You bet we do. But the jeans are the least of it. It's regaining our health, and regaining control over our eating, which had felt so out of control for so long. It's gaining perhaps for the first time a sense of self-respect and self-love.

As for your assertion that surgery is "the easiest way to lose weight", I assure you, choosing surgery is anything but "easy". If you haven't gotten far eough in your research to know that, you've got more work to do.

[Babbs 14,680]

@@Hey Man

I think with as much thought as you've put into this already and the the kinds of questions you've been asking, you'de actually do very well with the surgery. I can tell.

[Hey Man 21]

@@Hey Man

I think with as much thought as you've put into this already and the the kinds of questions you've been asking, you'de actually do very well with the surgery. I can tell.

Are you being sarcastic or do you mean that?

Why do you feel I would do well with the surgery.

[stacyrg2 350]

I agree with what many are telling you. I'm 2 years post op and maintaining a 130 lb loss. I can eat anything and everything. Haven't been sick a single time from food since surgery. The difference is in what I choose to eat. Will I go to a restaurant and order a hamburger? Yep. But I order it without a bun. That way I have more room to eat the nutritionally dense meat rather than 2 bites of a burger with bun. I don't even miss the bun. I'm typing this while eating a salad with salmon. Wait, let me rephrase that. I'm eating a salmon filet with a few bites of salad until in satisfied. I truly think going into this process with an "everything in moderation" mentality is a recipe for disaster. I have a few friends who have tried it and after the first few years, when you can eat crap and lose weight, and the hard times set in, failed. Yes,gained their weight back. I decided for me, there isn't a hamburger bun, or a pizza, or a chicken wing that is worth putting my success at risk.

I wish you luck with whatever decision you decide

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

But is that because you feel that you can't eat in moderation and burn away the calories through exercise - like healthy people do? You feel a chicken wing or a slice of pizza will ruin everything that you worked towards? That you can only have a ton of bad food or no bad food - there is no happy medium?

I exercise a ton. I kick box 3 times a week and run an average of 15-20 miles a week and lift weights. The old adage that you can't exercise away a bad diet is true. I can't exercise any more than I already do, nor would I want to. What I'm saying is if rather eat satisfying portions of healthy food than "just a bit" of unhealthy. Yesterday I had a hamburger with mushrooms and Swiss cheese. I ate it without the bun and basically finished the party (4oz). I'd much rather do that than eat a 1/4 of a Big Mac (which I think you stated above). And let's be honest here , I dont know you but I know me. Are you really going to be satisfied with the 1/4 or sliver of a Big Mac? I guess my point is, after surgery real estate is valuable and I'd rather fill it with really flavorful good food than not. Do I eat off plan? You bet, but those days are few and far between. I'm not trying to pick a fight here I'm just saying that you need to decide, for you, what is important. The answer to me in clear. I'll forgo a hamburger bun every single day for my new healthy and active lifestyle.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Hey Man 21]

Clearly there are some people that do get the surgery, because they see it as the easiest way to lose weight.

.

Oh boy, you sure opened a can of worms with that statement! And I'll be the first to respond......I did not have surgery because it was the easy way. After 30+ years of failing to maintain any significant loss through traditional "dieting" I had surgery because it was the ONLY way. Easy is the last word I'd use to describe life after WLS.

you are clearly not ready for the kind of commitment that WLS requires. Good luck.

I am not saying you or anyone else here had surgery because they viewed as they easy way out. But the fact of the matter is that there are people who do. I don't know you can deny that. My comment is not an attack on you, so don't take it personally.

Edited April 25, 2016 by Hey Man

[Babbs 14,680]

@@Hey Man

I think with as much thought as you've put into this already and the the kinds of questions you've been asking, you'de actually do very well with the surgery. I can tell.

Are you being sarcastic or do you mean that? Why do you feel I would do well with the surgery.

No, I mean it. Just the idea that you're even thinking so much about it and asking questions means to me that you would be committed enough to it.

I've seen people do more research buying a car than they did having WLS. And they struggle.