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Not getting the support system I need



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I am 33 years old weighing at 222 pounds, Friday I am going to my first seminar. Everyone in my family but my mom is against me going through with possibly having this procedure. The only two people supporting me are my mom and my nail tech, even the nurse at my primary care doctors office is against me going through with this. Yes I have trouble following doctor orders but considering how big of a deal this procedure is I know I should follow doctor orders step by step. I want the support system I need, I am tired of being overweight, I have low self esteem and I think going through with this and getting the weight off me would help my self esteem tremendously.

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Well......you can always wait around and become as bad off as I did a dozen or more years down the road.

If I'd have taken action of some substantial and fundamental way at age 33......I would't have found myself feeling old and broke down by my mid 40's. It took finally being wiped out with the fun symptoms of a disc injury that finally, finally got me focused on making a lifestyle change.

I went with a sleeve.

I have only one regret. One.

It is why....why.....why did my stubborn arse not do this much sooner ????

I'm just now able to reflect back and uncover some of the reasons I didn't take that action at 33. Part of it was that I had great self esteem and was very active. 60+ workweeks on average, days spent hunting, golfing, fishing, boating, etc. If something fun popped up on the radar.....count me in. I was there. At some point, however.....the bad eating habits and activity level just failed to be in sync and I failed to reconcile this. I knew how to lose weight and would do so......but discipline was like a switch that was thrown own and off.......and when it was off, wow.....serious pounds would show up.

Health issues and recovery from these really narrowed down my fun. Since there was no formal gym time taking place....and the fun outdoors had always been my main source of activity....bad situations occurred.

Now I'm starting to get back to where I need to be. The sleeve has been a most powerful tool. I realize now that my health isn't the only benefit I'm seeing. Turns out that I was having serious self esteem issues as well. I was letting myself stay stuck in rut......carved out a pattern of living and was hiding within the confines of this small window of life.

Now....I am going through examining everything about my life....it's all on the table. It's all up for negotiation. The unhealthy aspects are being eliminated. I'm finding that change is needed and I no longer fear that change. Some of the changes are small.......some are tremendous and a little bit scary. It's been a great time of self discovery and examination of what I'd like to do to set myself up for the future.

Spare yourself the next decade of sliding off into bad habits and unhealthy way of living. I went down that road and paid the price. I was absolutely blessed to be allowed this second chance.

I'm not saying to have surgery. Only you can make that decision. Gain the most insight and educate yourself as much as possible before committing to wls. Don't hesitate to make a change, though. Commit to getting healthy and act on this. Put forth the effort in ways that are safe and will give results. If you are not already doing so...then begin frequent exercise and establish a good way of eating. Get these fundamental behaviors in place on your own.......you'll need them if you do decide to have wls....and you'll benefit from them anyway.

I wish you the very best and hope that you gain support from your family. They may have to warm up to the idea and be better informed as to what wls surgery is and what it can offer. Seeing you become dedicated to healthy behaviors will certainly help gain their support.

You are among friends here, too. This is a very special place with some of the coolest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

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My mind is pretty much made up at 33 I already feel broken down. Bad back, bulging disc in my neck, gastric ulcers. These can all be changed and I know I can change my eating habits because honestly I don't eat much now. My main problem will be cutting out soda and I am committed to doing so if I have the sleeve done which is the route I will go. I have Migraines and my nail tech who had her sleeve surgery about 3 weeks ago said she has not had a Migraine since. I am not a member of a gym but we do have a park with a walking trail around a pond I can walk every day three times a week. This is something I know I want and I know I need

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My mind is pretty much made up at 33 I already feel broken down. Bad back, bulging disc in my neck, gastric ulcers. These can all be changed and I know I can change my eating habits because honestly I don't eat much now. My main problem will be cutting out soda and I am committed to doing so if I have the sleeve done which is the route I will go. I have Migraines and my nail tech who had her sleeve surgery about 3 weeks ago said she has not had a Migraine since. I am not a member of a gym but we do have a park with a walking trail around a pond I can walk every day three times a week. This is something I know I want and I know I need

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@@Dub Very, very good advice! Heart, you can do this! Nevermind what others tell you, let your own mind and heart follow whatever decision you may choose! WLS is the best thing I ever did for myself, unfortunately I didn't come to realize that I could not lose the weight on my own until I was 57. I missed out on a lot of things in life that I would have loved to have done! Now I'm happier, healthier, and going for the gusto! Just remember, no soda after surgery! The bubbles are really bad for your new tummy, let alone the sugars/artificial sweetners in it. Better to have Water flavored with Crystal Light. Wishing you all the best for your future!

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I was also told by someone three of her friends had surgery and one died, the other two gained the weight back. I am sorry but they did something wrong to gain the weight back like not following the strict diet. I know there is a risk with the sleeve but not to the point where you die. I am not backing down from this. I have tried diets, exercise, nothing helps.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

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      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
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      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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