I have so much on my mind.....

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Welcome and best of luck with your pre-op diet and your surgery.

It is great that you are willing to share your story with us. Admitting that I couldn't do this on my own and practicing rigorous honesty with myself and my medical team have been critical.

Another thing I found helped, because this was my first surgery ever, was to commit to doing everything I was asked to do my my medical team, even if I thought I couldn't do it.

Keep us posted on how you are doing and best of luck with your surgery.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

I know I need this, //// I know it will provide me the help I need to finally (FINALLY!) get to a healthy weight that will allow me to correct my joint issues, but also enhance my overall health, and allow me to do the activities with my kids that I have often not been able to do. Not to mention, hopefully be around for them for a much longer time. But I'm nervous about the surgery itself, the pain post-surgery (I am a completely wimp with an incredibly low pain tolerance), possible complications, and dumping (really, really worried about dumping). And finally, I am worried about regain.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, but I just needed to get this off my chest. My family is very supportive, but I try not to talk too much about my diet/surgery, because I don't want to be "that guy", I don't want them to get sick of hearing about it before I've even had the surgery. And, of course, they can't truly relate. My children are at very healthy weights, and while my wife is also obese, not nearly to the extent that I am. She has also never seriously dieted in her life, let alone considered surgery.

Whew!..... Okay, I'm fine now.

From my perspective, words such "need," "need to," "should" and "have to" are meaningless and, worse, they are a way that we put undue pressure on ourselves. Terms like "want to" demonstrate a positive, forward-looking view and, better, our freedom to choose. Even in the absence of conviction, by training ourselves to say "want," there's no way we can't understand the difference. There's even the possibility that the conviction will magically blossom.

Before you go through the litany of impending failures, with pencil and paper begin a list of reasons that you want to lose weight. You have a gorgeous start already -- being around for your kids, being active with them, saving your joints, et al. Just a list of phrases, not sentences. Each item should be brief and specific. Example, instead of "being active with the kids," break it out to (1) play tennis with Jester, Jr.; (2) dance with Susie Q at her Sweet 16; (3) run the father-son three-legged race........blah blah and so on. No reason to lose weight is too small or silly. The list is meant to record your heart's desire. Whenever some new thought occurs to you, add it. The list is a source of energy among other things.

Your family loves you and wants the best for you and, by default, them. Don't worry about discussing surgery or weight loss ad nauseam, as long as you don't do it with the grocery cashier or bank teller. It would make sense to be a little OCD, considering that both are major prospects. That you're ambivalent is more the cause. That's cool.

The kids can't relate personally, but they do see you struggling in various ways that you don't have to be consigned to. They understand more than you may think. (May I say that it sounds as though there's something healthy about in your parenting that your kids are healthy weight?)

Regaining is another, real topic, but why worry so far ahead of time? You have more immediate decisions and concerns.

Pain after surgery? It may be mild, it may be less or more than mild. So what? That's why it's called "surgery." (Did she really say that?) That's why there are meds for pain.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@ - when I first realized that this might be the answer and I went through all the ups and downs, I read through this post: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/195065-you-know-you-lost-weight-when/ and this really helped me keep my eye on the prize. It has worked well beyond expectations with very little pain. I will say that I prepared for the absolute worst, but it has gone perfectly.

I realized there were sooo many Non-scale victories (NSV's) waiting for me. I have added many myself over the years. (Just wait until you don't have to plan cutting your toenails any more, it's just too damn cool).

I highly recomend http://www.amazon.com/The-Emotional-First-Aid-Kit/dp/0976852659 this resource.

And if you need additional motivation, look for "Sex, oh my god sex" in the men's section (not for the faint of heart, but HIGHLY motivating). Good luck, and message me if you want more info.

[DeletedMember 715]

@@OKCPirate Thanks for the links. I spent a long time reading through that post last night. I think I'm up to about mid-2015! Great stuff in there. Some are obvious, and I'm definitely looking forward to, others I can relate to, but never even really thought about them being related to my weight!

I have my pre-op visit with my surgeon today and I'm feeling REALLY good about it. He spent about 45 minutes with me just addressing each of my concerns in a very thoughtful and detailed way. It's nice to hear things like the last leak he had was in 2013, and he went into a lot of detail as to why that one happened, etc.

And while he didn't give me a specific goal weight, he projected that I will be under 200 pounds. Under 200 pounds. I haven't been under 200 pounds since I was 15 years old. I know that my personal goal was to get under 200, but to hear the doctor say it, just put this huge s***-eating grin on my face.

Oh, and the BEST part??? He waived my need to do the 2-week pre-op liquid diet! He said I had done so well with the 4-weeks prior (officially losing 33 pounds) that he saw no need for me to do the starvation diet, and would rather have me continue the Pound of Cure diet he wants me to follow for life (this is what I have been doing for 4 weeks).. He said my abdomen is soft, I'm not terribly large (a 300-pound man could only hear that from a bariatric surgeon) and this is going to be a very easy surgery for him.

So, while I will never have the liquid diet experience to share with so many, I can live with it in exchange for actual food :-)

I'm probably as excited and positive as I've been since I started this whole process. I can do this.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

@ Glad to hear your visit went so well and you are feeling so positive about the whole thing. Only two weeks to go!

[Passionate4People 0]

You took the first step and should be VERY proud of yourself!

I agree with what others have stated...everything you are feeling is NORMAL so relax. Think instead of the negative think about the joy to come not only for yourself, but those precious gifts from God. Our children often suffer from the choices we make, we are human. You have taken steps and made choices in the right direction.

My ex husband had quadruple bypass surgery when he was about your age. He is back up to his old weight. Dr told him he needs another surgery, he says no...he is making a choice. Our 22 year old daughters do not have a relationship with him, but our 9 year old son does.

I have a cousin and sister in law who has had the surgery and they are doing great...they work hard to keep the weight off. Think of this as a new life style that you can pass on to your children. Putting it into perspective...is a burger and fries worth your children growing up without you...I think not. Prayers...keep us updated.

Sent from my VS986 using Tapatalk

[Rustycreaks 12]

Ok, here goes. I am generally an extremely private individual, who normally doesn't like to share my personal business broadly, but when it comes to WLS, I just need to be able to talk to other people who are going through the same thing. I am most definitely NOT a group therapy/support kind of guy (the thought mortifies me). Thankfully, this site allows me to hear from other people, in an environment that is safe and comfortable for me. I have been lurking here on almost a daily basis for the last four weeks, and finally created an account. I have a feeling this may end up being a long post, so I appreciate you hearing me out.

First, my story. Like many, I have been overweight for most of my life. I have yo-yo dieted almost continually. I consider myself a semi-professional at losing weight, but am a complete failure at keeping it off (again, I know that is typical). I have high blood pressure and I need 3 of my joints replaced (two knees and my left hip), which causes me a significant amount of constant pain. However, given my age (42) and my weight, no surgeon wants to operate on me given the risk of complications and needed revisions.

I have finally come to the realization that I need help. I will never beat this on my own. I went to see Dr. Weiner on 2/9, and things have progressed VERY quickly since then. I weighed in at 333, and was asked to try and lose 25 pounds prior to surgery, beginning with his Pound of Cure diet, followed by a Protein shake and green veggie only diet for the 2-weeks pre-op. Then came the Psych eval, Surgical Clearance/Letter of Medical Necessity from my PCP, and an endoscopy. All went well. Given my BMI was over 50, BCBS of MI automatically covers with no formal approvals needed (lucky, I know).

I have done very well on my diet, losing 30 pounds in ~4 weeks. I started my liquid diet today (this is going to be a heck of a ride), and am scheduled for surgery on March 21st (2 weeks from today).

I'm really nervous. I know I need this, and I know it will provide me the help I need to finally (FINALLY!) get to a healthy weight that will allow me to correct my joint issues, but also enhance my overall health, and allow me to do the activities with my kids that I have often not been able to do. Not to mention, hopefully be around for them for a much longer time. But I'm nervous about the surgery itself, the pain post-surgery (I am a completely wimp with an incredibly low pain tolerance), possible complications, and dumping (really, really worried about dumping). And finally, I am worried about regain. I know I can be committed to a plan, as I always am. Until I'm not anymore. I am hoping more than anything that this tool gives me the help I need to not fall off the wagon, but having a 0% success rate for 30 years makes me severely doubt myself in the long run.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, but I just needed to get this off my chest. My family is very supportive, but I try not to talk too much about my diet/surgery, because I don't want to be "that guy", I don't want them to get sick of hearing about it before I've even had the surgery. And, of course, they can't truly relate. My children are at very healthy weights, and while my wife is also obese, not nearly to the extent that I am. She has also never seriously dieted in her life, let alone considered surgery.

Thank again for reading, and thanks for all of the incredible information I've gained from this site over the last month.

I can only share my experience, and freely admit each one is different, so ultimately you'll not have answers to your questions until you personally are faced with them.

So, first off: Surgeon, Surgeon, Surgeon. Inexperienced and not skillful are what you want to avoid at all costs.

Secondly, and in my case only: after six years, there isn't much I can't eat. If I want a big Mac and Fries, I can eat about a 1/3 of each, with no ill effects. OTOH, sometimes I'll have something as innocuous as scrambled eggs, and have discomfort---go figure.

Perhaps one of the knottiest issues is NSAID's. I have arthritis in my knees and hips--with a lot of discomfort. I try not to take NSAID's due to the common knowledge or common belief that they can cause ulceration in the pouch. My Surgeon, when asked about this, blew it off, saying he'd never seen it. So, I do take NSAID's rarely and have a deep appreciation for their analgesic properties.

I gained back 50 of the 130 Iost over the last three years, so, it I'm currently dieting and having great success--so there is hope if you lose your way, understand with the right mindset, the RNY tool is very effective in shedding the pounds.

No one can tell you what your trip will be like. Best of luck.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

@@Rustycreaks I have definitely seen accounts of people on these forums taking NSAIDs daily post-op and developing ulcers or stomach bleeds. So not something be taken lightly. Apparently there are other meds that can be administered while on NSAIDs that can help protect the stomach if necessary though.

[Rustycreaks 12]

@@Rustycreaks I have definitely seen accounts of people on these forums taking NSAIDs daily post-op and developing ulcers or stomach bleeds. So not something be taken lightly. Apparently there are other meds that can be administered while on NSAIDs that can help protect the stomach if necessary though.

That may be, but no one whether they have had RNY surgery or not should take NSAIDs on a daily basis.

For the record, my Wife uses Voltarin ,a topical NSAID, for her knees and finds it very effective. I've used it some and don't find it as effective as she does.

[DeletedMember 715]

My doctor is sort of in the middle on this issue. He does not want me taking NSAIDs "regularly", but said that if needed up to 1-2 times a week would be ok.

I had been taking them daily for the last year or so. My PCP was perfectly ok with it as long as I took them with food (truth be told, I did not follow that advice very well).

I have been trying to wean myself off of them and have done pretty well. In the last month I believe I have only taken them twice. I can live without them for my knees, it's my hip that is so excruciating.

I have decided that I will just tough it out over this next year, and keep my NSAID in take to as close to zero as I can tolerate. Once I am stable (12-18 months out I am anticipating), I will look to schedule the hip replacement surgery that I need.

Then I will deal with getting the knees replaced. There is a lot of pain in my next 3-5 years, but I'm hoping all of it will be worth it in the end and I get a new lease on life.

[goplay94123 575]

Congrats on following through with your surgery. I am 9 days post op and can only go off of what I have experienced. I am a big chicken when it comes to pain and in the hospital they were really on top of making sure I did not have pain. My pain was from the co2 pumped in and caused pain in my top left chest /shoulder. When I went home the next day I was in pain from the gas and getting up and down with the laproscopy incisions burning. I was off pain meds within 3 days. I kept up the spasm medicine prophylactically. My dr (you will notice in here that almost EVERYONE is on a different allowable diet and schedule) only allowed Protein drinks and low sodium broths , sf popcicles, sf Jello, Water and Decaf tea. I followed his instructions of an ounce of liquid every 10 min and I was able to get all of my liquid and Protein in. Others struggle even weeks out. I am pretty fortunate. I even asked the dr when he called if he was sure he remembered to do the sleeve after the hernia repair.

What is also weird is that I really want to go for a long walk. Unfortunately at the exact point I felt like I really wanted to it started raining where I live in San Francisco for 5 days straight. But I feel great and really want to get moving.

Make sure you get Chapstick and if your dr allows you to chew sf gum, get some.

Everyone's taste is different but for Protein Drinks I like Premier Protein. At 30g for 11 oz it is tasty and filling. Also I am obsessed with grapefruit so I got some grapefruit Syntrax nectar. I whirl it up with Water and it isn't chalky or lumpy. I got really tired of chicken broth so I finally found some low sodium (though still pretty high imo) beef broth and it was amazing. (Except I am craving to dip some bread in it. Haha)

One thing I haven't seen anyone talking about in this thread and I am just going to go there. Half the people experience loose bowels and half suffer Constipation. I am the latter and am still in that predicament. I am on a medly of remedies and look forward to some movement. I would have to say that is my biggest issue after surgery. I just feel bloated and in need of relief. I would recommend that you discuss with your doctor his course of action for both outcomes and stock up beforehand on what he recommends.

I wish you the very best and remember that no one, not your doctors or the hospital staff or your family want you to be in pain. So make sure you speak up when you are not comfortable and walk walk walk as soon as possible and as often as possible. It makes the gas move out quicker.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited March 11, 2016 by goplay94123

[Alex Brecher 10,494]

@,

Welcome to BariatricPal! Thanks for introducing yourself. This is a wonderful community that can help you through your journey.

Congratulations on your decision to get surgery and on your work so far.

It’s normal to be nervous, and great that you’re admitting your fears and identifying them. That way, you can face them.

I can TOTALLY understand your concern that this won’t work since nothing else has. It’s true that it’s up to you to make it work long-term, but what’s also true is that everyone who chooses to get WLS gets it because nothing else worked. Everyone here tried a million other things that didn’t work before deciding to get WLS.

Post-op pain: you’ll get through it, one way or the other. It’ll pass. The good thing abou tit is that by that point, you won’t be able to change your mind or wimp out.

And dumping syndrome? Yes, it can happen, but there’s a lot you can do to try to prevent it. Eat right, and you’ll have way less of a chance of getting it frequently.

Good luck with everything, and thanks for sharing!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

have you even considered the sleeve? Dumping is much less common with the sleeve and you have a normal functioning stomach. You can take NSAIDS. Also, the sleeve is made from the non stretchy part of the stomach so the chance of regain is less.

My daughter had gastric bypass and I had the sleeve. There is no way possible for me to eat the size of portions she can eat. She had gastric bypass in 05. She is pretty disappointed in how much her pouch has stretched.

[DeletedMember 715]

Yes, I have definitely considered the sleeve and spoken with my doctor about it. Unfortunately, there is no perfect surgery and there are pros and cons of each. I also have fairly severe GERD, which I'm hopeful the RNY can reduce or eliminate. I also have a BMI over 50 (or did before the pre-op diet) and the RNY has a statistically greater weight loss overall as compared to the sleeve which is desirable for me.

I know there are lots of people here that have done very well with the sleeve, and I'm glad to hear you've had great success.

[Roalmc77 61]

Day 2 pre op diet so far so good, broth isn't that bad lol.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App