"Exercising" your self control

[Kindle 8,667]

I read so many posts from people who go out of their way to avoid temptation. They don't attend certain parties or events because there will be too many tempting foods. They don't go out to restaurants or movies with friends. They don't eat with or cook for their families. And in trying to avoid temptation they may be missing out on a lot of fun stuff. Eventually, a lot of people end up caving in to their temptations, resorting back to old habits and either never reach goal or regain their lost weight. So how are you supposed to strengthen your willpower and self control if you never exercise or test them? How do you learn new habits without attending "school".

IMHO it's the same thing as exercising your body or mind. How can you build muscle without picking up some weights? How do you train for a marathon without running everyday? How do you win a spelling bee without opening a dictionary?

I realized that I specifically put myself in situations where I know I will face temptation just to be able to put my willpower to the test. I go to events that I know people will be partying and I stand by the food table and drink Water all night. I look at the dessert menu but don't order. I walk down the candy and chip aisles in the grocery store. I linger in the bakery department. And whenever I feel like my willpower is fading or I find myself eating off track I put myself back on the liquid preop diet for a few days just to prove I can do it. We all know how hard it was the first time around, but doing it again voluntarily really boosts my confidence and ability to succeed.

Just like when you cheat, it makes it easier to cheat the next time, saying no makes it easier to say no the next time....you get better at making good choices. You build up your immunity against temptation. So I say don't run away from those food demons, turn and face them head on! You have to train your brain and get in fighting shape in order to win those long term head games.

[tmcx28 297]

I'm only 8 weeks out, but once I was cleared for solid foods at 4 weeks I just couldn't keep myself isolated anymore. I hadn't seen my friends since I started my pre-op diet. I'm young, I have a large group of friends, sitting at home and being a hermit wasn't doing me any good. I went to a bar with friends and ordered a burger without the bun, I also had a cheese stick and a Quest bar in my purse that I munched on when I got hungry. I was totally fine with being the designated driver and I got out of there spending only $20.

I was on puréed/soft food during Christmas and still found things I could eat. I have yet to go anywhere that I couldn't find SOMETHING that fit in to my plan. I can't say I haven't made mistakes, but I've certainly learned lessons from them. 2 pieces of chocolate made me extremely sick. No throwing up, but I swore I was going to pass out. Sugar is a no-no now and since then my stomach is just repulsed by the thought of sweets.

I actually feel really proud of myself when I make the decision not to have certain foods. I live alone, I could totally be stuffing myself with Pasta and bread (the foods I used to binge on before), but I've avoided it entirely and I don't even miss it. I thought it would get harder to stay away from certain foods once I was cleared for solids but it really does get easier the more you resist the temptation.

[VDLT 244]

Well said. This is for life and there is no turning back. Sure I avoid certain things (when there is an announcement in my office that there are donuts in the break room, I steer clear). Otherwise I live my life and the sleeve makes it easier to say no. I am still early out, a few days away from four months, and have not avoided meals with friends, movies (had a bit of popcorn), and going out with my husband. We don't go out to dinner or order out like we used to, but I honestly don't miss the food that much. I hope it stays that way.

I went on a three day cruise the day I was cleared for solids at the one month mark. I was shocked how easy it actually was because I was not crazy hungry all the time. Plus the excitement of having the surgery and the hope that this time I can really do this is a powerful motivator.

[JamieLogical 8,727]

Great post, Kindle. We have to be able to live the rest of our lives with out sleeves. We shouldn't all become shut-ins just to avoid temptation.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Good post, @@Kindle .

I do a little of this in the bakery section of our supermarket.

I think I'll do some more of this in other aisles.

[BobbyD 211]

It all depends on your personality. I for instance, am too easily swayed by those choices. I wish I had more self control, but I've chosen to learn from past experiences. I'll be forced to change some situations that I used to normally enjoy. No more "all you can eat buffet's, as the temptation is too great, no more going to the pizza Hut because my willpower will eventually fail me. Maybe not the first time or even after that, but EVENTUALLY I WILL BREAK DOWN. I always have. The sleeve didn't change that. I must change inside, and at 3 months out, I am going to hold off on temptations. That being said, I WILL try a cruise (next year)

[Babbs 14,681]

Great post, and oh so true!

We can't expect the whole world to stop just because we've had WLS. We still need to be a part of this big, wonderful world, just with a different perspective.

I think the avoidance phase happens more in the beginning, honestly. I think we feel like freaks at first, not being able to eat normally. I know as time goes on and things normalize, most people understand that they can't hide away for the rest of their lives just to avoid temptation. I also think as we lose weight and see the results we get from avoiding temptation, it makes it easier to excersise self control.

Then you hit maintenence and get comfortable, and it gets harder again....

Excuse me while I go into the fetal position and cry now.

[borg/assimilated 576]

@@Kindle,

Good post! I agree with exposing your self to different "food situations". I have seldom gone to a restaurant and not been able to find something I am comfortable eating that still focuses on Protein ( usually on the appetizer menu). It does get easier and less intimidating as you try new experiences, and as @Babbs mentioned the initial stages are the most daunting.