Getting enough calories

[foodfighter78 258]

Today I only had 800 cal but I feel so full that if I try to eat anything else I will get pain and sick. ????

[bellabloom 2,467]

Sometimes I do have pain although not as often. I have very heavy restriction as well as severe dumping.

Mainly I find it difficult and unappealing to eat, I get full very easily and stay satisfied for a very long time. I have little to no appetite and have to force food.

My body requires a lot of calories and the size of my sleeve is really small.

I also have some fear about eating high calorie items such as nuts but I'm working on getting over that fear.

I've done okay the past couple of days. I'm working on it! I also have a doctors appt next week.

Relying on Iv nutrition is unwise. That calories and nutrients can't make up for what you need to eat by mouth. Pic lines are AWEFUL, I've had two already. Tpn sucks and I won't go down that road.

@@foodfighter your weight is really low. I am not sure if giving yourself three months is a great idea.

Have you checked for malnutrition?

Edited January 14, 2016 by bellabloom

[foodfighter78 258]

Sometimes I do have pain although not as often. I have very heavy restriction as well as severe dumping.

Mainly I find it difficult and unappealing to eat, I get full very easily and stay satisfied for a very long time. I have little to no appetite and have to force food.

My body requires a lot of calories and the size of my sleeve is really small.

I also have some fear about eating high calorie items such as nuts but I'm working on getting over that fear.

I've done okay the past couple of days. I'm working on it! I also have a doctors appt next week.

Relying on Iv nutrition is unwise. That calories and nutrients can't make up for what you need to eat by mouth. Pic lines are AWEFUL, I've had two already. Tpn sucks and I won't go down that road.

@@foodfighter your weight is really low. I am not sure if giving yourself three months is a great idea.

Have you checked for malnutrition?

No I didn't check for malnutrition, I'm also afraid of feeding tube, pic lines etc. I'm not using any Protein shake or bars becomes they make me sick. My surgeon insist that mechanically everything is perfect, I went to UCLA, for a second opinion and they said from my records that everything is in good place. So what is it? Going to psychiatrist tomorrow, can all my pain and discomfort be only a mental thing ? I don't believe so, I never have those types of problems, like bulimia or anorexic or binge eating etc. I just drink half cup of milk lactose free and I feel solo full, I get a runny nose etc. nutritionist said you are getting to low on the weight, need to gain 15lbs but how if I can't eat? I feel they don't believe me that I eat all day or that I try all day

[Chrystee 838]

What is your height @@foodfighter78

[foodfighter78 258]

5"6

[bellabloom 2,467]

So here is how it goes for me this week.

I was super busy Sunday running around and came out 1200, 600 calories short of my total.

I got a really really bad cold mon and tues and wed. Spent those days laying on the couch eating fast food and drinking soda because that's all I could do. I hate being sick.

At about 1500 calories over my 1800 budget!

Got better today. Ran around crazy busy with work and a date night... Skipped Breakfast (running late) had a sandwich and fruit lunch, clam chowder and bread for dinner...Came in at 600 calories total for the day. 1200 calories short of my goal.

So I'm basically at square 1.

This is how it goes for me. I can get my calories up if I have nothing to do but sit and eat... But as soon as I'm busy everything goes out the window.

I'm frustrated.

I saw this article online about what people all over the world eat every day. It varies wildly by culture. A woman in Africa lived off 900 calories a day. She didn't look so good though. Most ate around 2000-2400.

I need to put Snacks in my car.

[bellabloom 2,467]

@@foodfighter I want to address what you're saying about pain and discomfort during eating.

I most definitely experience eating differently than prior to surgery. One of the things wls surgery does is it removes a hormone responsible for eventual satiety from our stomachs. Wls patients feel fullness within minutes while normal people feel it only after 20 minutes or so. So right away, eating is a less pleasurable experience because one feels full so quickly.

The sense of restriction or tightness I feel is not painful but it's not pleasant either. It feels like work to get food to pass. It takes work to eat. Chewing slowly, eating slowly. It feels like a task. Before surgery I ate mindlessly while distracted. I rarely tuned in to what I was eating but became lost in the sensation of pleasure. Now I am forced to eat mindfully and the pleasure factor is way down. It's like... If I had been a Heroin addict (just an analogy!) and someone made it impossible for me to get pleasure from the drug... But I still had to use it to stay alive... It would become a tedious task overshadowed by the memory of what it used to do for me.

Eating can be slightly painful for me. If I eat too fast... If I have drunk liquids near to the meal (which I admit I find very difficult not to do), if I don't chew enough, if it's a dense substance... All of these factors and more can effect how it feels to me to eat. I also find eating with little to no appetite kind of painful in a way. More repulsive than anything but definitely not pleasurable.

And then there is some mental anxiety and turmoil going on when I'm wondering if I am going to dump from the meal. If I'm in company or put in public this is a real concern for me.

And then there is always a level of anxiety related to weight gain. I can push that aside to some extent and of course some foods are easier than others... But I live with at least some amount of anxiety related to food at every meal. Being anxious while eating definitely drives pleasure in the food down.

So all these factors put together for me create an unpleasant experience when eating. When eating used to be my drug of choice, it's now a task. I'm not saying all meals are completely devoid of pleasure but most of them are more work than anything. It's the reality of how this surgery has effected me. Food just doesn't do it for me anymore.

But that was the point.

And would I go back to how it was before? No way. Not in a million years.

[foodfighter78 258]

@@foodfighter I want to address what you're saying about pain and discomfort during eating.

I most definitely experience eating differently than prior to surgery. One of the things wls surgery does is it removes a hormone responsible for eventual satiety from our stomachs. Wls patients feel fullness within minutes while normal people feel it only after 20 minutes or so. So right away, eating is a less pleasurable experience because one feels full so quickly.

The sense of restriction or tightness I feel is not painful but it's not pleasant either. It feels like work to get food to pass. It takes work to eat. Chewing slowly, eating slowly. It feels like a task. Before surgery I ate mindlessly while distracted. I rarely tuned in to what I was eating but became lost in the sensation of pleasure. Now I am forced to eat mindfully and the pleasure factor is way down. It's like... If I had been a Heroin addict (just an analogy!) and someone made it impossible for me to get pleasure from the drug... But I still had to use it to stay alive... It would become a tedious task overshadowed by the memory of what it used to do for me.

Eating can be slightly painful for me. If I eat too fast... If I have drunk liquids near to the meal (which I admit I find very difficult not to do), if I don't chew enough, if it's a dense substance... All of these factors and more can effect how it feels to me to eat. I also find eating with little to no appetite kind of painful in a way. More repulsive than anything but definitely not pleasurable.

And then there is some mental anxiety and turmoil going on when I'm wondering if I am going to dump from the meal. If I'm in company or put in public this is a real concern for me.

And then there is always a level of anxiety related to weight gain. I can push that aside to some extent and of course some foods are easier than others... But I live with at least some amount of anxiety related to food at every meal. Being anxious while eating definitely drives pleasure in the food down.

So all these factors put together for me create an unpleasant experience when eating. When eating used to be my drug of choice, it's now a task. I'm not saying all meals are completely devoid of pleasure but most of them are more work than anything. It's the reality of how this surgery has effected me. Food just doesn't do it for me anymore.

But that was the point.

And would I go back to how it was before? No way. Not in a million years.

You described exactly how I feel when I eat. I do regret surgery when I get sick. But then I like the results at the same time. My food experience is just like yours.

[jess9395 5,448]

@@bellabloom I am concerned about you. I understand eating is a chore for you and unappealing and difficult to fit in. But you CAN do it. You have experience that shows you can in the example above. The days you didn't get "too busy" you did it.

You HAVE to make it a priority. It's risking your health. You haven't replied to the myriad of suggestions above. You dismissed the first few as undo able and then just continue to tell us how you're not getting in enough. What about finding your sliders? What about the higher calorie shakes? What about setting timers on your watch and making sure you have the time? Running late and a date? Not reasons not to eat. It must be a priority! For the sake of your kids if not yourself.

The disordered eating in your background only makes me worry more. This thread feels almost more like a brag than a complaint and certainly excuses. You CAN get enough calories in if you make it a priority.

[WL WARRIOR 690]

This might sound a little bold, but I'm going to mention it anyway. After all, its just my opinion, so you don't have to make much of it.

I think deep down, you like the attention this problem is causing you. Like the previous poster mentioned, you seem to dismiss many suggestions. I've read your past posts and responses and there are may indicators that you like being super thin and all the attention it brings. Even in your original post, you mention being disappointed that your doctor didn't comment on your thinness. It was like you were let down that you didn't get the attention you usually crave.

Also, you've mentioned how the opposite sex finds you "tiny" and how being so different than everyone else makes you feel special. You love the stares you get. I guess there is nothing wrong with that to a point.

I realize that you are claiming that you want to gain weight, but can't. Part of you may know that you should put some weight on, but deep down it seems hard for you to give up the attention. Am I wrong that you confessed to needing to check in to an eating disorder clinic not long ago?

Somewhat, I can relate. Last month, when I got down to 120 pounds, everyone seemed to notice. I had only gotten that way due to strep throat and mild dehydration. Anyway, the attention it brought made me feel a little special for about a week.

After that, I realized that making others worry and stress over something I could easily manage and control just wasn't right. Besides that, the emaciated look made me appear weak and downplayed the strong character I try to achieve and reflect as a teacher.

All it took for me to gain 10 pounds was the addition of graham crackers, popcorn, and Cereal. It was hard to eat it in the beginning because I had worked so hard to stay away from such carbs for a whole year. I added these foods a serving at a time each day and I gained 10 pounds in a month. After I got up to 130, I just reduced my calories a little and kicked the carbs. Did you know that one serving of Smart Healthy Popcorn has 100 calories and 100 CARBS per serving!

My advice is to look deep down, get honest with yourself, and let go. If your blood work is fine, then you need to put an emphasis on constant snacking to raise your caloric intake. If you have kids, this is so important. Kids know more about what is going on than you realize and it effects how they live their life growing up in so many ways.

Edited January 16, 2016 by WL WARRIOR

[bellabloom 2,467]

I hear what you are saying. I'm not disregarding your suggestions. And it's true, when I make a concerted and constant effort to eat and that's my entire focus I can eat more.

Obviously this isn't just a physical issue for me and I never claimed it was. It is mental. It's an absolute mental battle combined with physicality that makes it even more difficult.

I'm not in a great spot with my eating habits and I'm not really sure what to do next.

I'm definitely not bragging. I'm sick in the head! Seriously people. I'm struggling just like many others here, just differently. What's the difference between me being unable to put enough food in than someone who can't stop putting in too much?

I've had a ton of private messages on here from readers who are struggling with the same issues as me. They aren't brave enough to post about but it's more common than everyone thinks. And it's not "I'm self indulgent and want people to feel sorry for me or pay attention to me" for being too skinny or being as skinny as I can be. It's not about approval and it's not shallow.

That's like saying that people get fat because they are lazy and gluttons. And we all know it's much deeper than that.

I appreciate everyone's concern and advice and I will continue to post on my journey because I know there are others struggling with my same issues. And if anyone wants to judge me that's fair. This a public forum after all.

I'm not trying to scare anyone away from this surgery. I would do it over again in a second. I'm so glad I had this surgery because the alternative was way worse.

It's going to take me a long time to get peace with food. If I ever do. At this point in just hoping for some sort of routine that keeps my weight within a safe range.

All your suggestions are appreciated, any support I can get and they aren't dismissed. There just limits to what I can mentally handle. Food is a big problem for me! Just like it is, or at least was, for all of you.

Hahhahaa I am just laughing about the section in the last post "making people suffer for something I could easily control". Man. That's just so... Sigh. If I could control my issues around food why did I get fat at all? Couldn't I just shut my mouth?? Me getting fat cost me my marriage and so much suffering, so much suffering!!! Why didn't I "control" myself then????? Please.

Edited January 15, 2016 by bellabloom

[bellabloom 2,467]

I'm starting to realize this is just so difficult. The main problem is I have a tiny capacity to eat!!

Today I had Thai curry, salad with peanut dressing, a chai latte, fruit, olives, cheese and crackers and a sandwich. It's 6pm and I'm at 900 calories. I am so full I can barely move. No way is anything else getting in there or I'll throw up for sure.

I have so much restriction, that is the hardest thing about this.

Slider foods like processed crackers and chips just gross me out. I want salads, vegetables.... Fresh real food!!

Really heavy fat stuff makes me so nervous to eat. This is a struggle.

My weight came up to 119 for a few days after two days of non stop fast food and soda. It has now dropped back 116, I just couldn't stand to eat any more crap like that. Definitely on a downward trend.