Gotta get this off my chest ...

[gowalking 10,790]

I didn't read all the replies but I get the gist of this. My take is that this is not their problem..it's ours. We, and I mean pretty much all of us on these boards, have body image issues. We do not see ourselves as we really are..and I mean when we are heavy or normal sized. Our perceptions are distorted so any type of comment, even flattering ones, can be taken the wrong way.

I'm almost three years post WLS, and two years in therapy and only now can I see myself more as others do. Not always..I still have issues. But most of the time, when I look in the mirror, I see a slim, middle aged woman who I know looks younger than her 57 years, but still has lines on her face, crow's feet, and a myriad of things that would indicate I've lived quite a life in terms of what my body has been through.

Basically I'm saying that we shouldn't take things so personally even when they feel personal. Take a compliment for what it is even if it's presented poorly...and learn to enjoy the normalcy that comes with losing the weight.

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@gowalking That was well stated ... and you're right ... It's so hard to see the new person emerging on the outside throughout this whole process ...

We still see what we used to look like ... even though ... the "me" on the inside is still the same ... People never took the time to get to know me before ... so they wouldn't know that ... Their loss.

I think we will always have issues within ourselves ... that is a given ... it's not an easy task to take on such a physical change without emotional issues coming along for the ride ...

But it's a ride I don't mind taking

[The Candidate 3,215]

For me, the only thing worse than these type comments is when they stop coming. When I lost weight before, all the way down to 130 over a decade ago, I was flying high on flattering comments, to the point where my feet hardly touched the floor. It was wonderful.

But inevitably I started regaining and then suddenly it became unbearably quiet. I've had over 15 years of that awful silence. And now finally, that quiet has been conquered for good.

I'll take the comments, no matter how they're phrased any day over that dreadful silence.

[LATINGODDESS 31]

You are better than me. I would have sent them to you know where. People should think before they open their mouths.

[Cupcake 801]

I agree with you. My husband family always say that to him all the time and I am quick to say he has. Nothing to worry about because he handles his business.

I agree with you. My husband family always say that to him all the time and I am quick to say he has. Nothing to worry about because he handles his business.

[Robin Leighbuchanan 48]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I get compliments that seem to come from the left as well. Most of them are not trying to be malicious. And believe it or not, some people are very jealous because they know what you're going to end up looking like.

But I find for the most part that people are just simply trying to be supportive, they are just awkward and giving complements.

Good luck on your journey, and keep your head up!

[BestDayEver 418]

What I'm looking forward to is the time when people/family don't feel the need to say anything because the new look will just become the norm. What a beautiful day that will be!