I am a very blessed woman ... I am fortunate enough to work with my husband ( though some would see this as a curse ) ...

So all of our co-workers ( of course ) know us ...

And since my WL journey ... I have heard said ... to my face and otherwise ... that my husband better "put a lock on me" and "watch me" because I just might start fooling around on him ...

REALLY!?!??!

I am so sick of hearing this I could vomit ... I feel it's completely WRONG and RUDE for people to "assume" that just because I'm losing weight ... doesn't mean I want to lose my husband in the process ...

Thank God he knows where my heart and soul is ... because if he even FOR ONE SECOND believed a word of what people were saying ... omg ... I don't even want to think of that ...

Geesh.

Sometimes ... people suck.

Who the hell is saying this stuff? Curious, is it another woman who might have a thing for your man? Was it said as some sort of weird compliment? You know, "Oh, you were obese before so not desirable, but now you're thin and everyone will want you" sort of thing. (We won't even discuss how twisted that logic is.)

Next time it's said to your face, tell them, "Too bad because I love my husband. He's the best and loves me for me. Who wants a shallow-assed bastard who only wanted them for their looks? Sheesh."

That would really tick me off too. I'm sure it is meant to be some kind of compliment from someone who just can't say how great you look and that's what they come up with.

Well sometimes people say things without realizing they can mean 2 things. They may be hinting that you are really going to be a hottie and thinking they are being complimentary or cute and may not even realize they are really making you appear to be fickle.

I would just say, he doesn't need to watch out for me with another man BUT he better watch those credit cards because I am going to buy me some clothes!!!!

Are they joking? Granted, it's rude, but I can see people saying, "oh your husband is going to have to put a lock on you" and meaning "you're going to be so hot everyone is going to want you". I would hope it was an awkward kind of compliment and not a remotely sincere idea that you would be cheating on your husband.

Kind of like how everyone says, "wow you have such a pretty face" when you're fat as a way of giving a compliment when in reality they mean "damn, it's good you are pretty because the rest of your isn't looking so great", or "omg, I can see right through you, do you ever eat" when they really just mean to say "you lost weight, you look great". People deliver compliments all the time that make you want to smack them, but 90% of the time they aren't intentionally being hurtful.

@songsmith funny you should ask that ... 99% of our co-workers are men ... so i sometimes think they just don't know HOW to pay a lady a compliment ... and men being men ... just say the first thing that comes to their mind without giving a thought of how it comes out ...

Believe me ... I am NOT God's gift to anyone but my husband ... I am still of the mind set that I'm huge and will always see myself that way ( i think ) ...

so maybe I'm being too sensitive about things that are said that weren't meant for my ears ...

It's still such a learning curve.

Men!

Ugh.

What creatures they can be.

@TinyTink You know there is a lady that i know that had bypass 2 1/2 years ago ... and didn't do so well ... and she is always saying "hey skinny" ... and "oh look you have a waist!" ... I think in her mind she is paying me a compliment ...

But the way it comes out ... it's really a dig. It makes me very uncomfortable ... like I am supposed to be ashamed because I am doing well ... and I know that isn't true ...

But ... I haven't said anything to her about it ... I just let it roll off ...

I'm sure it's awkward for her too in a way ...

@songsmith funny you should ask that ... 99% of our co-workers are men ... so i sometimes think they just don't know HOW to pay a lady a compliment ... and men being men ... just say the first thing that comes to their mind without giving a thought of how it comes out ...

Believe me ... I am NOT God's gift to anyone but my husband ... I am still of the mind set that I'm huge and will always see myself that way ( i think ) ...

so maybe I'm being too sensitive about things that are said that weren't meant for my ears ...

It's still such a learning curve.

Men!

Ugh.

What creatures they can be.

After reading this I would say it's an awkward compliment from some guys not knowing what to say to an awesome lady.

@lisacaron Thank you for saying that

Yep. Sounds like the guys I know. The ultimate compliment for most of them is to say you look hot.

Well, it kinda sucked what they said, but I imagine they intended it to be a compliment.

I have to tell you a slightly funny "you look hot" story.

i used to keep my horse at a barn and the vet that most of us there used is a really good looking, confirmed bachelor type. It is well known that the local horse women are always after him, but he is a good vet and I have no interest other than his knowledge - and he is a nice person too and we often talked about the science behind horse nutrtion and health etc which i found interesting.

Anyway, right about the time I got to goal, we had a big holiday party at the barn. He hadn't seen me in about 6 months, walked in the door, and right there in front of EVERYONE exclaims "you're hot!". I must have turned 3 shades of red and everybody laughed and got in on the good natured joking. They were friends and aquantainces and it was certainly meant as a compliment, but it was a little embarrassing at the time!

@@CowgirlJane I loved your story! I'm sure that you and the others are right...

Boys will be boys!

So thank you...from one hottie to another

There is a way that some people give 'complimenst' that is quite the opposite. The implication is that you/we were bow-wow's who had to take what we could get.

The part about implying that someone would start running around is simply inappropriate at best and low class at worst.

Edited January 5, 201610 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch

Whilst I get it, I think it gives too much credit to the speaker. Seriously. .. they see hot..they say "hot" I don't think it is more complicated than that.

There is a way that some people give 'complimenst' that is quite the opposite. The implication is that you/we were bow-wow's who had to take what we could get.

The part about implying that someone would start running around is simply inappropriate at best and low class at worst.

I really think it's just a man thing. My husband used to kid with me about getting thinner and how he would have to watch me. Nothing could have made me betray him, he was the best husband anyone could have. But it was his way of complimenting me. I know he did not feel I would be unfaithful to him .

WOW...I can't belive so many people can be so sensitive...it's a compliment...same as saying you are very attractive.

Accept it.

On the flipside, what were you before your weight loss? fat and ugly?

You could always wear a burka and hide yourself from the world...or maybe become a nun...or stay fat. That would work.

Using the term "Hottie" is the vernacular of the day...20 years ago it would have been a different term.

I'm 64 years old and have a daughter who is in her mid 30's...so I had to "Lock her away because she was a hottie" or should I say I had to "Beat the boys away with a stick..."

Or maybe sit on the front porch with a Shotgun on my lap.....

I work with women who when walking put up with cat calls and whistles every time they pass a construction site...yes, it can be called rude, but they know it's harmless...and I hear them talk-laugh about it....

Your husband should be bursting with pride...as superficial as that may sound, it's still reality.

That's my morning rant.