My Mother, The Queen of Tact

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Yesterday was a busy day. It was supposed to rain in the afternoon, so we started early and got the tree and the decorations out of the garage (my garage is not attached to my apartment). We also pulled out a lot of bags filled with clothes that either I or my older daughter had grown out of, and some winter clothes I had put away in the summer.

After putting up the tree, I started going through bags of clothes, keeping whatever would fit my younger daughter now or in the near future, and donating the rest. For my clothes, some of them I would now fit in, and some were too big.

My mom was folding the clothes for donation and putting them in new bags. At one point she holds up a dress that was a size 30/32, the largest size that Avenue carries. She says, "OH MY GAWD! THIS IS HUGE! THIS NEVER FIT YOU!"

:: ::

"Mom. Not only did that fit me in the past, but I got too fat to wear it."

A few minutes later, she holds up a 6x top. "Okay, there is NO WAY this ever fit you!"

Sigh. "Yes Mom, it did. Do you want to see pictures???" Now remember, this woman lives with me and has for several years.

After I gave her the stink-eye, she says, "I guess I don't remember, I only see you as you are now."

Good save, Mom.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

Maybe it will help to think of tact as a pyramid sort of quality?. It could have been much worse. Your mother could have held up those items and said those things when you still were that size.

Here's a kiss on her noggin.

[Mom26 313]

Nice recovery, Mom.

[songsmith 334]

On the bright side, she didn't hold up that dress and say, "Honey, you sure you want to give this away? I'm sure it still fits!" That's what my mom would have done. Think of it this way, your mom never saw you as larger if she can't remember you ever wearing those clothes. She saw you and not your size. (Tosses mom another save just in case! )

[swinglifeaway 64]

Ha! ????

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

My "normal" size 20something sizes can't remember how I used to look. When I pull out the "before" photos, watching their expression is actually quite painful in many ways. It reminds me that my obesity not only cheated ME, it cheated them of some life experiences.

[Djmohr 6,965]

It just goes to show you that your mother loves you and never really saw your size either. I think our transformations both to heavy and now thin just goes by those closest to us.

When I lost my first 80lbs my husband who lives with me and loves me didn't realize how significant my weight loss was until we walked into one of our favorite places where everyone knew us. An old friend we had not seen in two years was looking really weird and behaving really weird towards me. Later that person pulled my husband aside and asked if he had gotten divorced and who I was.

He was not kidding and it shocked my husband because he just did not realize my physical change. I was still the same person.

That has happened to me many many times now. People closest to you including yourself requires your brain to catch up with your weight loss.

Congratulations on your weight loss!

[BestDayEver 418]

It is interesting to see how people react to the weight loss. Some say nothing. One person who had not seen me for awhile said I looked much happier. She knew there was something different about me but couldn't quite figure it out. It's all good by me, I thank people who compliment me but I really look forward to when no one notices and the thinner me is the new normal. That's when I'll really know I've succeeded.

[newmebithebypass 713]

Awe well your mom sounds nice

[Sharon1964 2,530]

She has her moments!

[goodnuff 239]

Oh mom!!! That was a very good save. I've been told twice that "at least your weight loss wasn't drastic" by people who last saw me at my pre-op weight. 92 pounds in 7 months isn't drastic? I guess some people see us the same no after what our weight is?

[NewSetOfCurves 1,553]

My husband and I were looking at some old photos and we were both shocked at the pictures when I was at my heaviest. He looked at me and said, "I do not EVER remember you being this big." I had to agree. I don't remember being or feeling the size I was in those pictures. Like several have said before, it is because our loved ones see the person we are inside. They love that person, and our exterior is of little consequence. Give that mama of yours a big kiss.

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

I'd have to say that my mother is related to yours! Though the comments from mine currently are TOTALLY oblivious to what I'm going through ... She still treats me the same ... no matter what I used to weigh, how much I've lost, or the size I currently am ...

I love her just the same too ...

Other posters are right ... those closest to us ... don't see the outside of us ... I mean, they do ... but they don't ... which is a good thing and how all people should view each other ... it's the inside that counts

And it's true too that those closest to us don't necessarily "see" the weight loss as someone who hasn't seen us in a few months/years ... it's much more obvious to those people ...

Just last night I saw my neice, who I hadn't seen since waaaay before surgery .... ( I'm almost 6 months out and 111 down ) ... She about fell over ... and hugged me several times .. just couldn't believe how much I've changed ...

Of course that makes your day

Congratulations on your losses ! Doesn't it feel good to be a loser ?!