I don't feel like telling my new partner about my sleeve surgery. And by partner I really mean lover - not looking for anything more right now.

I get keloid scaring - raised and red and ridged-so even though surgery was three months ago they are VERY obvious.

So, does anyone have any suggestions of another surgery that would look similar? He is a doc so it will be hard to come up with something believable.

I'm sure some will say just tell him. But I have had a lot of other surgeries and scars that I will have to tell him and I'm already very self conscious about those.

Thanks.

Absolutely outsidematchinside! So true.

She has already lost the bulk of her weight, she is around 200lbs now. Any weight she drops from now is going to be at a basically normal pace and not a WLS surgery pace.

Women don't drop weight at the rate men do, and people that see you often don't notice it.

Finally men are dumb, and if the sex is good he will believe whatever she tells him.

OK I guess this is one I should have kept my mouth shut on. I didn't know she had lost the bulk of her weight already since it's not posted but since men are dumb how would I know? Just trying to offer my opinion and since it doesn't go along with yours then I am dumb.

Edited December 15, 201510 yr by mark1733

I didn't call you dumb, but a man that is trying to have sex with you, even a smart one is dumb.

If they are going to have a sexual relationship, he isn't going to care about her scars. They might not be as noticeable to him as they are to her. I only see my scars because I know exactly where they are, they are almost invisible.

Every time this topic comes up, guys are like tell, you should tell, people will notice, but this doesn't seem to match with reality. There are several women on here that are dating and not telling and not being outed.

Edited December 15, 201510 yr by OutsideMatchInside

Knife fight scars from your former life as a buccaneer on the high seas...

That's what I'd go with...

Finally men are dumb, and if the sex is good he will believe whatever she tells him.

That's a half-joke, right? Perfect. It works well only when two people who have disregard for each other jump into one bed. Anyone else, don't try this at home.

Knife fight scars from your former life as a buccaneer on the high seas...

My 30-year old appendectomy incision isn't at all the usual, low, 3-inch horizontal cut. The surgeon did some exploratory, as pre-tests showed gallstones and something else, so I have an approx eight-inch vertical cut starting above the belly button and running down alongside and below it. (Had I known then what I know now, I would not have consented to anything but the traditional incision). It's quite a scar. In the first two years after, when I still couldn't look at it myself, I'd explain to those who saw it that I performed my own emergency appendectomy while camping in the back country of Yellowstone. They believed me. You can get away with anything if you say it with a straight face or a smile, depending on the subject matter.

I'd go with don't ask don't tell. If he don't ask, don't tell him then you don't have to lie. If the relationship turns into anything more serious then you should be able to confide in him. I find that most men never mention the scars. I have one on my left breast from a lump removal and one on my shoulder and no man has ever asked about either one.

If you don't want people to ask about your scars, gosh just tattoo over them. But if you will lay down with someone, you are already opening yourself completely to that person. Not that they will ask, but if they do...just say you had surgery. If you are in the mist of sex and the boy ask further questions of concern...by golly. Consider keeping him. And if he then kisses those scars proving he likes you the way you are scars and all. By all means marry him. Lol. But seriously be honest.

Even for a person like me who has not told many people. I say honesty is best.

Just tell him you work for the secret service and if you tell him about your scars you'll have to kill him. Then get on with it!

She has already lost the bulk of her weight, she is around 200lbs now. Any weight she drops from now is going to be at a basically normal pace and not a WLS surgery pace.

Women don't drop weight at the rate men do, and people that see you often don't notice it.

Finally men are dumb, and if the sex is good he will believe whatever she tells him.

@@OutsideMatchInside

preach!

Topping off my two cents...

If he's a doctor he probably could care less anyway. And unless he's a surgeon with recent training in lap surgeries, he's always going to assume the scars are from a horse, not a zebra...meaning he will think it's from something common and not as exotic as wls.

For what it's worth, my gall bladder scars are on my right side and my WLS ones are on my left. I also have some from my laparoscopic tubal and one is really high and not where they typically are. Well that's where they all WERE till my TT/panniculectomy removed a lot of them ????

I go with the don't ask don't tell and if he presses say laparoscopic abdominal surgery. If he presses more more say it's personal, but j can't imagine he will.

"Ever seen John Carpenter's 'The Thing'?"

No - "Good, let's talk about something else" - said with a weird smile.

Yes - "Well there you go. Now let's talk about something else.

TBH, if you're just friends of the benefits-only variety, I wouldn't bother telling him OR making something up. Been down that path a couple of times since surgery, I didn't volunteer and they were too busy looking at other things to ask

I work with Nurses and I have not told anyone about it. but I did tell them I was having scar tissue removed from a previous stomach surgery. and that they had to do it laproscopically pump it up with air and go in from all sides to get it all our. which he did take some scar tissue out. I had colon cancer before. so not sure if that helps. but the nurses have all seen my scars. I am always raising my shirt up..ha. had them checking on it and no one seems the wiser. I get what you are saying. I dont want anyone knowing. I am married so I did tell him but that is it. I dont want to be judged. I am two months out and enjoying losing the weight and want that to be my focus. getting healthier and not being judged. good luck!!

Protip to all the semi-irritated, semi-confused people posting on this thread -- it ain't your problem.

Move along.

P.S. My gall bladder scars were on the right side. My VSG scars were mostly on the right with a few on the left. The two surgeries were done 4 weeks apart by the same surgeon, which is probably why they look so similar.