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Scared to finish the process



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I've struggled with my weight most of my life. I'm scheduled for surgery and did my pre-op testing today. I walked away completely overwhelmed from all of the information and wanted to run away screaming. I've never been in the hospital except to have my daughter which was scary as well. How do I ease the anxiety and go through with getting the sleeve? How long is it taking for you to feel ok again? Yes I know everyone is different and will have a different experience, I'm just looking for some feedback.

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Yes, it is scary. This was my first surgery, too.

What I have found is that what you are experiencing now, the pre-op fear and anxiety was the worst part of the process for me. I had a great recovery and am very happy with my results so far.

I know that stepping into the unknown is scary, but believe me, I would do it again in a heartbeat now that I have made it to the other side.

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Hi. I'm a little under a week before my surgery and I am still scared to death. I know I am making the right decision and that for my health this is the best thing for me to do, but it's still scary as hell. It's all so overwhelming. My suggestion is to rely on your team. Rely on your supports and just know that you can do this. Little steps help. Taking it moment by mementos. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time to adjust. Ask as many questions as you can think of. If your program offers a support group GO TO IT! My support group is a mixture of pre and post ops and I know I can rely on them for any questions. They understand the fears. It is so very overwhelming and you will want to quit many times but keep plodding along and you will get there. It's a huge life change but a change that is worth it for YOU! You can do this just remember baby steps be kind and gentle with yourself. Believe me!

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Will it help knowing what you are feeling is completely normal?

Surgery is always scary, even for people who have had surgeries before! You'll go in, get prepped, and they will put you under. The next thing you know, it's done and over with and you're waking up.

Not gonna lie, you're going to be a little sore, a little tired, and may struggle to drink your fluids and Protein. You may even regret it for a while. But as time goes on, you start to heal and feel better, and as a bonus you're losing weight! Although I had a fairly easy time of it, I didn't feel completely human for about 6 weeks. It takes time to recuperate from major surgery, so be kind to yourself.

Now at 15 months out, all of that is a distant memory. I feel great, and don't even feel like I've had 85% of my stomach removed except for the restriction. One of the best decisions I've ever made!

Just remember as you're going through the more challenging times that it WILL pass. Then you'll be on to the next phase of things. Good luck!

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Ok stupid auto correct I meant moment by moment not mementos! ????

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Although I was banded, ( not sleeved ) I think what you're feeling is completely normal. Change is scary !!! Everything is new, and overwhelming !! But if you look back at having your daughter, that was new and overwhelming too !!! And you did just fine, didnt you ?? Because you took it one day or one hour at a time. And then its not so scary , is it ? So there you go. You'll do just fine, and yes , if you can find a local support group, go !!! Lots of support and help. You will be soooo glad you had the WLS, my only regret is that I didnt do it sooner !! Good luck !!

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This was my second surgery, but I had a small case of nerves on surgery day. Seriously though. One second you are talking to the anesthesiologist and the next second you wake up in your room all done. Lickety split. The pre op nerves are the hardest part. I told myself it was time for the big girl panties and get shit done.

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It was my third surgery and it's human nature to be nervous and scared of the unknown. In Sept of this year I had foot surgery and it was such a difficult surgery. I was so nervous about my surgery because of it. My doctor told me that it is an easier surgery than foot.

I was questioning it.... but I was then reminded that it took a year to get everything together and ready. And wrote down a list of all of the reasons I wanted the surgery. And I kept adding to it. I mainly remember the week before I was nervous but I'm a month out and can barely remember those feelings. It is worth it. I do recommend getting a notebook and start writing down all of these thoughts, feelings, doubts and reasons. I'm not going to read my notebook until my one year mark. Those are my thoughts, just know you are not alone. It is normal. Plus everyone is different, I was in the hospital for 2 days. After a day or two I forgot I had just had surgery.

Being nervous is necessary for the process.

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@@cparni - I walked out of the office pre-op and stopped the process this time last year. I had already done a NUT class and had to complete three. They do one a month. I walked out because the office staff at my surgeons satellite office made me question the lap-band. I originally had planned on it for less recovery time.

The staff made me doubt my surgeon for not re-directing me to the band. The Psych and insurance lady had me REALLY wonder WTF was I doing the band because it has sooooo many issues. Needless to say after going home (eating like usual) thru the holidays and researching my original choice, the sleeve. I hit my HW(282) ever, at this time. I pulled up my "big girl panties" and got back into the game. That Staff was reprimanded for doing that to me. I wasnt the only one apparently.

I have never doubted my surgeon, or his skills, is my point.

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It was my first surgery ever too. It was over before I even had a chance to process it. My recovery was so easy I sometimes wondered if I even had it done. Now at four months out I'd definitely do it all over again!

Edited by The Post Op

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My sleeve was my 12th surgery, and the easiest recovery of them all. Think of it as a nice nap, and when you wake up you will be on the way to a new you.

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I can only repeat what most have said here. The feelings you have are normal and this is a decision that YOU have to make. A friend and I started the process about the same time. We are about the same height and weight. 2 weeks before his surgery he stopped and basically said, I can lose it without the surgery. Thats his decision. That was 7 months ago. He is heavier now than he was then and Ive lost 110 pounds. He told me the other day he wished he had followed through and has started the process once again. All I can say is I wish I had done this 10 years ago. Good luck

Edited by mark1733

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I was a failed band patient (banded 2001) so doubly scared!

In late 2010 I was referred to the sleeve by my sleep apnea doctor. He told me i wouldn't be successful and poo-poo'd the sleeve and steered me to the bypass. I was on the verge... but just couldn't do it. I spent a year in emotional misery over it. I found a different surgeon; had the band removed in Sept 2011 and was sleeved Dec 2011.

4 years, down over 150# and not looking back.

I like to think that my year of suffering and anguish over it helped me to be successful. By the time I was sleeved I KNEW I needed the help of the tool and knew it was my "last chance". I was a no regrets, just gotta do this! sleever at that point!

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this year i have had 3 neccicary surgerys on my ears i have this weird conditon called a colestema that causes a pocket of infection to build up and eat away the bones in my ear and i was scared after i woke up i would be deaf from the surgery which is a real possibility. well my recovery for those were easy peasy and i know its gonna be the same for wls trust your team to get you through this

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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