People envious of WL

[QuilterGal 216]

So I have a coworker who has been very, very supportive of my WLS. She is one of the few people who really knows the ins and outs of everything. She's a bit of an odd duck though, socially awkward. Anyhow, the other day when I came in wearing older, smaller size clothes that she'd never seen before, she said she was "jealous of my WL." That struck me as very strange, given that she knows what I've gone through and what I continue to go through. I know she really meant she was envious of my WL and that she said it with the best of intentions. But still... Thoughts? I didn't know how to respond so I just didn't.

BTW, this is someone who is in her 60s and is overweight, but not obese. Like many women, she also struggles with her weight.

[esskay77 785]

I apparently use the word "jealous" like this as well. I didn't realize some people take that as an insult. When I say it, I totally mean that as a compliment. Don't overthink it!! She is telling you that you look great. There may be a small piece of her that is wondering how she can also start to look better to get such a noticeable improvement. It's all good though.

[60&goin4it 931]

I agree with esskay77 I'm also guilty of this only meaning it as a compliment! Focus on the support she has given you in the past, she probably just wishes she had the guts to do something about her weight as you have done! I just turned 60 & the older you get it gets so very hard to loose the weight. I think you handled it just fine by saying nothing but you may ask her if she mentions it again, say thank-you, would you like to walk with me sometime?

[anchorup 15]

Ditto. It's a compliment. I say I'm jealous to a friend that can bench press like 200lbs. Lol. Jealous means I really want what you have. She wants your weight loss. Very simple

[QuilterGal 216]

I understand that this was a compliment. Like I said, she has been very supportive of this journey. She has complimented me numerous times saying, "You look great" or "You're doing great." What was strange this time was that she personalized it about her -- that she was jealous. Felt very odd.

[Stephielynn8 64]

I have thought about this as well. There are people who exercise to lose the weight and they are successful at it. Sometimes I think to myself, did I do the "easy-way-out". But really, I shouldn't think that way and I will not let people assume that is what I am doing.

Obesity happens not just by eating horribly, but one has to consider the genetic factors as well. I am not using my genetics as a crutch; however prior to my sleeve, I had horrible cholesterol, HTN, and sugars were definitely not good.

Since then, I have dramatically improved. I look at my sleeve as a preventive measure from ending up like my mom and grandparents. I don't want my son to see me end up like my mom whose diabetes is has taken its toll on her.

If this will prolong my life to a healthy state, then I am all for it!

[Dub 10,065]

Take it as a compliment and move on to another subject.

Let's face it.....most people in today's society are overweight. This brings on the issues that we all know very well.

Talking about it with folks is almost pointless unless it's someone truly interested in changing their lives.

It's a subject I simply steer away from.....like politics and religion.

Folks will make compliments on my progress and I'll thank them and say something like, "Thanks....just trying to give the old knees a break" and leave it at that.

I see the same reaction from people who see a peer driving a brand new car......they'll get a case of the "wants" and then self-evaluate why they can't drive one, too. It may lead to their mismanagement of funds, low paying job, etc. Bad feelings come to the surface and it becomes easier to simply think nefarious thoughts of the peer with the new car, "he must be cheating on his taxes.......he inherited his money.........etc, etc".

People can and do say the most bizarre things to each other.....things that show a lack of mental filter or perhaps they don't care how stupid or rude they sound.

Let the idiots do their idiot-ting.......you just stay the course and keep getting lean, healthy and happy.