Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I'm Wondering If Someone Else Can Relate



Recommended Posts

Hi,

I am 3 weeks out of surgery. And I'm in pureed stage of my diet. I still want to go out and hangout with family and friends for meals. Some people think it's a waste if I go order a cup of Soup n only drink the broth part of it. I'm not tempted when I see others eating nor do I regret my decision.

I like the socializing part of eating out with folks. I understand it's not cost effective. But this is the new me. I will eventually be able to eat until then I don't want to miss out on social gatherings with family and friends.

I can't shut myself in because I made this conscious decision to get sleeved to get to a healthier weight. I have yet to eat or drink anything that is not on my bariatric diet menu. I have always been a social person and I don't want that to change as I love my family and friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes I can relate. I had a dinner with a major presidential candidate three weeks following surgery. Oh this sucks. But I worked it out with the staff, "I only want soup" and they made it happen without fanfare. Life continued. It happens during the transition. it's OK.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good on you I say!!

If you want to order Soup and just drink the broth then you go for it...

A lot in your position (me included) would opt to stay at home for a little while but if you're ready to get out there and be social then knock yourself out...

More power to you!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can relate. Being able to spend time with friends and/or family is so much more satisfying than eating a large meal. Order the Soup and enjoy every sip.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can relate. Being able to spend time with friends and/or family is so much more satisfying than eating a large meal. Order the Soup and enjoy every sip.

Ditto! Every minute is precious. Tonight, I took mom out to dinner. Even though I didn't eat since I had a Protein Shake for dinner earlier. She and I had a great time laughing and bonding. food didn't even cross my mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ dusky goddess: My sleeve is scheduled 11/18th, and my coworkers are already planning on where to go for Christmas dinner. My family are the only ppl that know about my surgery. I haven't said anything to anyone else. I guess I will need to see how I feel when the time comes. I want to go and mingle with friends. I figured if I will know the restaurant before hand I can look at the menu and order something mushy, or Soup. I don't want to say to anyone that I am on a diet or that I had sleeve surgery. I will see how it goes, but I feel you. You don't need to un socialize, you can still socialize with your friends just plan ahead to assure that you are within your diet guidelines.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ dusky goddess: My sleeve is scheduled 11/18th, and my coworkers are already planning on where to go for Christmas dinner. My family are the only ppl that know about my surgery. I haven't said anything to anyone else. I guess I will need to see how I feel when the time comes. I want to go and mingle with friends. I figured if I will know the restaurant before hand I can look at the menu and order something mushy, or Soup. I don't want to say to anyone that I am on a diet or that I had sleeve surgery. I will see how it goes, but I feel you. You don't need to un socialize, you can still socialize with your friends just plan ahead to assure that you are within your diet guidelines.

I had told my coworkers I was having surgery but not the specifics. My family and close friends know what kind of surgery I had and are very supportive. I'm looking forward to the holiday season because by then I will be rocking a new wardrobe and that keeps me motivated. My sister is hosting thanksgiving and was very sweet to inquire about what kind of foods I will be able to consume by then so she can accommodate my special dietary need. Truly blessed to have people who care and love me so dearly.

Edited by dusky goddess

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I endorse your philosophy -- live, love, eat (or sip, as the case may be). :)

Since having WLS I have learned that it is not a sin to not clean my plate, even if I learned that it was and behaved all my life as though it were.

It's simply not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's very empowering to just be able to order a cup of Soup, or even just a cup of coffee. I often times order "just" a drink and sip it while everyone else orders a meal. I don't tell anyone why, if anyone asks, I simply say I'm not hungry in a manner that invites no more questions and I change the subject.

As far as it being a "waste"? I've had to change my mindset on that completely. If I have a bag of wheat thins and I eat them, they are gone. If I have a bag of wheat thins, I don't eat them and have to throw them away because they go stale, they are gone. Either way, they are gone. The only real difference is I didn't consume the carbs and calories unnecessarily. I have to remind myself that every stinking time I clean out my kids' lunchboxes. WHY WHY WHY am I fussing at them for NOT eating foods they obviously didn't want that day? The cleaning the plate mentality is what got ME here and I am not putting them there.

Sorry for the ramble...that's just been on my mind lately.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Socialize as you wish. Order your Soup. Don't make a big deal re broth. I frequently get questions from the wait staff who are concerned that I didn't like it or that something was wrong with the food since quite a bit is left over. I just say "it was great, I just had a big lunch" or a big Breakfast, etc. Most of my skinny friends leave half the food on their plates anyway so its not really that noticable most of the time anyway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like the perfect attitude. Go and enjoy time with family & friends. That's the important thing.

'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If someone thinks your leftovers are a waste, just offer it to them. I think they'll probably shut up about it. Here's how that goes down in my head:

Them: It's such a waste to order Soup and not eat the good stuff.

Me: Here, do you want it?

Them: No thanks.

Me: Oh, but you said it was a waste. Obviously that's important to you. Here, you eat it.

Them: No.

Me: (pushing it towards them) Are you sure? Eat it!

Them: No!

Me: Eat it!

Them: How 'bout them dodgers?

Me: That's what I thought.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

YES! I'm in the same position now. I'm in week 4 and like You I love to eat with family &friends. I miss that especially at dinner time. Stay encouraged. Keep looking good!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My surgery is Monday. I've asked my husband to eat whatever meals he normally would around me. Nobody else is going to make changes to how/when/what they eat so I wanted to be used to it. I, too, will socialize after surgery for the holidays. If anyone questions it, I'll either be not hungry or say my stomach is bothering me. Two valid answers that nobody would question.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×