Emotional and feeling guilt

[alejcerra 12]

Let me start off by I'm 31 and I was sleeved on 10/20. My preop diet weight was 225, day of surgery 217 and 8 days out I'm already at 208. I got the sleeve after being over 220lbs for the last 12 years. After countless diets, meal plans, workout regimen, you name it I tried it and did and and failed it. VSG was suggested to me after it was discovered I had extremely fatty liver while testing was being done on my gallbladder. My liver was so advanced that it was projected within the next 5 years I could very well be in liver failure. VSG was the safest and most effective way to help reverse this disease. Having two small children this isn't the future I saw for myself or my family.

I have to admit I've been stepping on the scale everyday to track. And it isn't without guilt that I see a lower number everyday. I feel like it isn't fair that I was blessed with this gift by "default" because I had other medical issues going on. My husband is extremely supportive and doesn't want me to feel guilt he wants me to remember of how this could have gone the complete opposite direction.

I've been emotional because I've identified as an over weight woman my entire adult life. It's who I am. Or who I was. I've learned to not be confident because I was always put down. The idea that in the next year I can easily be 150 or less is not something I can comprehend. AT ALL. The thought of not being a size 18/20 is insane to me.

How to you mentally adjust to this? I intend on asking my surgeon for advice at my 3 week follow up if I am still feeling this way. I have been told by friends it does get better. But I've also been told by a friend 2 years post op that she still has a hard time believing this is the new her...

Advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

[marcossleeve 8]

Kudos to you and your husband for the support ! I just had my done, sleeve, 10/26, and I'm felling great, no regrets whatsoever. I'm 50 years old, was 300 pounds, no major health issues, but I was felling down, out of energy, eating like crazy, more and more every day.

Ok, just a little be more about my wife and I, she'll be taking the same path I did on November 16.

We have 2 kids, now 22 & 25 years old.

I did "cheat" by scheduling my surgery ahead of her, because I felt that she was scary of doing that, she got mad at me, but now I see that was the best decision. Lol !

Is just amazing to me that I don't fell like eating !!! I can cook and not even taste the food.

You hear some people saying that I shouldn't have done the surgery, but diet and exercise, still they have no idea how hard it is, that's why I didn't say about my decision until I had it done, even my kids, a bodybuilder and a retired Marine, I told them a week prior.

Listen, I'm so happy !!!!!!

Good luck to you and us all !!!

Be well !!!

[Victoria Mora 40]

Let me start off by I'm 31 and I was sleeved on 10/20. My preop diet weight was 225, day of surgery 217 and 8 days out I'm already at 208. I got the sleeve after being over 220lbs for the last 12 years. After countless diets, meal plans, workout regimen, you name it I tried it and did and and failed it. VSG was suggested to me after it was discovered I had extremely fatty liver while testing was being done on my gallbladder. My liver was so advanced that it was projected within the next 5 years I could very well be in liver failure. VSG was the safest and most effective way to help reverse this disease. Having two small children this isn't the future I saw for myself or my family.

I have to admit I've been stepping on the scale everyday to track. And it isn't without guilt that I see a lower number everyday. I feel like it isn't fair that I was blessed with this gift by "default" because I had other medical issues going on. My husband is extremely supportive and doesn't want me to feel guilt he wants me to remember of how this could have gone the complete opposite direction.

I've been emotional because I've identified as an over weight woman my entire adult life. It's who I am. Or who I was. I've learned to not be confident because I was always put down. The idea that in the next year I can easily be 150 or less is not something I can comprehend. AT ALL. The thought of not being a size 18/20 is insane to me.

How to you mentally adjust to this? I intend on asking my surgeon for advice at my 3 week follow up if I am still feeling this way. I have been told by friends it does get better. But I've also been told by a friend 2 years post op that she still has a hard time believing this is the new her...

Advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

AWW Alejcerra I want to hug you, you seem such a lovely person.

Sweety don't feel any guilt you deserve this, and you are working hard (( Yes YOU are working hard)) at accomplishing your way to a healthy and yes happier you. And you will be happier because you will feel healthier. Noone else can do it for you so This isn't just a gift your seeing the numbers drop on the scale its your hard work thats doing it

Thumbs up to your wonderful supportive husband for being there for you, he is right it could have went the other way.

Keep up what your doing and i am sure soon you will shrug the past you , embrace the new you and look forward to seeing a more happier and gorgeous woman in the mirror.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

What in the world do you have to feel guilty about?

If you had heart disease and had a surgical procudure to correct it, would you feel bad about it? If you had an appendix attack and had it removed, would that "hurt" you? If you had a brain tumor, or lung cancer or kidney failure and surgery could save your life, would you not do it?

You had a medical procedure to better yourself and the lives of your family.

GOOD FOR YOU! You were smart enough to embrace the opportunity, now be emotionally intelligent enough to embrace and revel in your successes. It takes time to get used to the smaller sizes and the fit body FOR SURE, but you need the self realization to believe that you DESERVE good health.

Love yourself. You make a great decision. Best to you.

[The Candidate 3,215]

Feel grateful that there was a procedure available that will not only cure the liver issue, but also help ensure that all the other obesity related diseases, such as diabetes have now been averted.

Feel joyful that you've now been allotted extra years with your children and grandchildren that you might never have gotten before.

Feel blessed that you have a supportive husband, family, and medical care, who are all helping you through the procedure.

Feel love towards yourself, because you deserve this just as much as anyone else, no matter how it came about.

Feel hopeful and excited in anticipation of the healthy body and life you have awaiting you in the near future.

Sometimes it's okay to put yourself first, because in the end, a better you, a healthier happier you, benefits all those around you at the same time.

You are going to love the new you! ????

[jane13 2,256]

@@alejcerra - Love yourself!

@@LipstickLady said was a great "one liner".

Be thankful you were able to have the surgery and avert liver failure and watch your children grow-up and age with your supportive husband

I have been fighting my weight most of my life. I was never skinny once puberty kicked in at 12. I was in the higher end of a normal weight range thru school and even after having my kids at 22 & 28 my weight recovered. Then the 40s came, and at 51, I hit my HW. I had surgery two months past my 52dn birthday and I am hoping to be closer to my goal by 53rd birthday.

Point is, I had 15 years of excess weight that I could've enjoyed activities with my kids and hubby.

Now I am looking forward to enjoying my adult kids, grandbabies & hubby and being active with them FOREVER!

[Dub 10,027]

Just keep it simple.

You had a very serious health threat.

You took action to correct said threat.

It is going to work and lead to wonderful side benefits.

YOU ARE GOING TO BE HEALTHY.

End of story. Turn off the noise in your head. Drop the drama. Piss on those who would judge you.

Be slim, trim and happy. Life is simple. Life is Good. Rock your new health.

Edited October 29, 2015 by Dub

[newmebithebypass 713]

i don't have kids to think of but i do have a hubby and well these past two years with my obesity ive been diagnosed with sleep apnea diabetes high blood pressure and my thyroid is out of wack as well i am jumping through all the hoops because i think at the rate im going i will be dead at thirty

[CJ Porter 93]

To be honest, I've been the "fat girl" for so long, I'm not sure who the heck I'll be when I get down to goal. For that reason, I maintain a relationship with a therapist. I see her once every two weeks. We talk about the journey and I know that as I try to process who the person is looking back at me in the mirror, she'll be there and we'll talk about that too.