When people ask what you did to lose weight how do you respond?

[The Candidate 3,215]

You should never feel obligated to tell anyone anything you don't want to share. That is your right. That person was very out of line for posting that video, especially being a supervisor. I would be tempted to take that case further, perhaps to HR.

When I told my office I was having surgery and would be taking six weeks off, I never revealed the reason why. I wasn't required to. Any documents I submitted from my surgeon or doctor, I redacted anything that would have led to a conclusion of the type of procedure.

It had nothing to do with being ashamed of wls. I am a private person, like you, and working in the same office for 28 years, I'm well aware of what happens when "gossip" starts making the rounds. My life is my life. My decisions are my decisions. Period. Work and personal life needs a clear defining line. When you start blurring those lines, it's not as fun as the song by the same name, and tends to get very messy.

Everyone has to make their own choice when it comes to telling or not. There is no right or wrong. I have not regretted my decision once. And you should in no way be penalized for that decision either by somebody posting a video about it. I've never heard of anyone doing something so mean spirited and spiteful. I'm so very sorry that happened to you.

[Andrew0929 1,102]

I've chosen to keep my details private. When explaining my surgery, I claimed it was for a hiatal hernia.

When asked about my weight loss, I say "I eat like a bird and run like a deer". Heads nod ...

[jane13 2,256]

@cal2okl - I hate those kind of people. I worked with a gossipy group of older women, when I was in my mid-twenties, and it made me very wary of sharing anything with people with certain personalities (aka gossipy b*tches)

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I'll be the one going a bit against the grain here: most of the time, when people ask about my weight loss, I tell them I had surgery, watch what I eat, and exercise. I just feel like there are too many people out there that don't know about weight loss surgery, or feel like it is dangerous or can't be successful (everyone gains their weight back! My hairdresser's cousin's boyfriend had it and all his teeth fell out, his skin turned gray, then he died! you know that stuff). I want to show people that you can have weight loss surgery and be happy and healthy and successful. Maybe knowing me and seeing me be healthy and happy after surgery will get someone I talk to thinking about it, or give them a basis to talk about on a more realistic level if someone they know says they are considering surgery. I want to share how great this is, and I don't want to give people the impression that it's realistic to think a morbidly obese person can probably lose a substantial amount of weight, and maintain it, without surgery. Too many obese people think that and are beating themselves up about why they just can't seem to eat less and go to the gym more. I don't want to be even indirectly responsible for perpetuating that myth.

That said, I absolutely understand why people want to keep details of their medical care private, and I completely support anyone's right to do so. I have pretty close to absolute job security and my IDGAF bone has gotten stronger as I have gotten older. People can talk about me all they want and my response is generally: LOL, eff you. I'm a gay atheist living in the heart of the Bible Belt. If people want to gossip about me or say hateful things, they've already got what they need, and I've already gotten used to not giving a rat's patootie about what people say about me or how I live my life.

[cal2okl 37]

@cal2okl - I hate those kind of people. I worked with a gossipy group of older women, when I was in my mid-twenties, and it made me very wary of sharing anything with people with certain personalities (aka gossipy b*tches)

The older ones are the absolute worse even more so than the younger high school acting grown women

[kealot 136]

I tell them that I changed my eating habits and started working out.

[umo 86]

I hired a personal trainer and a dietitian. Arrggghhh sorry you have to deal with nosy coworkers!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Made a video about you ?

F*%K that B!#*h. No way, shape, or form that can be legal.

Sorry, I have no advice, but that blows. You should get a free pass on pimp-slapping that worthless piece of crap for as many times as you'd like.

Manipulative, petty, low-class heifer. I'm very sorry you had to be subjected to such a spineless piece of garbage.

Dub, feel free to express how you really feel , but I agree totally. HIPPA rules do apply here

[OKCPirate 5,323]

I'll be the one going a bit against the grain here: most of the time, when people ask about my weight loss, I tell them I had surgery, watch what I eat, and exercise. I just feel like there are too many people out there that don't know about weight loss surgery, or feel like it is dangerous or can't be successful (everyone gains their weight back! My hairdresser's cousin's boyfriend had it and all his teeth fell out, his skin turned gray, then he died! you know that stuff). I want to show people that you can have weight loss surgery and be happy and healthy and successful. Maybe knowing me and seeing me be healthy and happy after surgery will get someone I talk to thinking about it, or give them a basis to talk about on a more realistic level if someone they know says they are considering surgery. I want to share how great this is, and I don't want to give people the impression that it's realistic to think a morbidly obese person can probably lose a substantial amount of weight, and maintain it, without surgery. Too many obese people think that and are beating themselves up about why they just can't seem to eat less and go to the gym more. I don't want to be even indirectly responsible for perpetuating that myth.

That said, I absolutely understand why people want to keep details of their medical care private, and I completely support anyone's right to do so. I have pretty close to absolute job security and my IDGAF bone has gotten stronger as I have gotten older. People can talk about me all they want and my response is generally: LOL, eff you. I'm a gay atheist living in the heart of the Bible Belt. If people want to gossip about me or say hateful things, they've already got what they need, and I've already gotten used to not giving a rat's patootie about what people say about me or how I live my life.

I disagree, I only tell people who I think could use the surgery whom I know well. enough people think I'm nuts without giving them more fuel for the fire...

[PayItForward 207]

If you are successful, people will figure it out eventually. Simply changing up your diet and working out will not result in weightloss of 10+ pounds a month consistently. I have lost large amounts of weight before without surgery but I did it by following a 600 calorie per day medically supervised liquid diet for 6 months.

They might not know exactly what you did, but they will know if was surgery or something else more drastic than changing up your eating patterns.

Hopefully, you will be so happy about your weightloss soon that you won't care about the gossip anymore. Best of luck to you!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

... my fellow supervisor hated on me so bad she actually made a video and posted it on social media stating I had weight loss surgery and lied and said my gallbladder was taken out...

That is workplace bullying and harassment and I NEVER use those words lightly. You need to go above your supervisor and to your HR department with this. That's grounds for dismissal.

[10 28 2014 45]

I only told one person at work and she is now in the process of getting approved to do the same so I know she won't say anything to anyone. People are too judgmental and it is none of their business anyway. My family and close friends know and I have shared with other friends that could benefit and now they too are in the process of getting approved.

My husband has a harder time figuring out what to say when people ask him how I lost so much weight and he doesn't get why he can't just say I had surgery. It's not like I'm lying when I say I needed to get healthy so I dropped the carbs

[Megdelyn 85]

My answer totally depends on where I am, who asked, and how much time I have. Sometimes I'm walking through the hall and an office mate will comment that I've lost weight. For those situations I'll say something quick, like either "thanks for noticing" or if they ask directly what's my secret, I'll say, "Hardly eating anything." Which is true.

For those people I know a little better, or if I'm not in a rush, I'll stop and chat and say I had surgery. So far I've not had any backlash. Everyone I've told has expressed ... almost envy. But I can't imagine how anybody's reaction could make me feel bad about my choice. I think if anyone did say something weird, I'd say, "Better than being morbidly obese the rest of my life. Or dead."

[Jorge A 13]

I always answer the same way. I say, "Diet and exercise, oh and a little weight loss surgery". It always gets a chuckle and also leads to a bunch of questions about the surgery. It's a really great way to let people know and refreshing to answer questions they have.

Edited October 21, 2015 by Jorge A

[Mom26 313]

I was on the fence about telling anyone - I told my mom. She told her ENTIRE church group and family. Thanks Mom. At work, I told my boss because a co-worker just went through the same surgery. However, my EGD results yielded erosive gastritis - and I've been pretty sick every single day for the past month. He's well aware how ill I am - so I've told him the surgery is medically necessary (which insurance agrees it is) - and leave it at that. Quite a few coworkers see me sick every day - they know the issue with the erosive gastritis. I doubt anyone will question it here.

After the surgery, I don't have a problem telling them I had surgery -- they will assume it was due to my stomach issues. And technically, isn't it?

I shouldn't have mentioned a word to anyone but my husband. But too late. I've only told 2 of our 6 kids. The others will notice when they're home. They also know my recent sickness - so they'll assume that too.

I think it absolutely sucks that your supervisor was so shitty to you. Karma's a bitch.