Giving up

[Jangy03253 56]

Well sir I can say that I read this whole thread and I am not getting into a pissing match with someone that does not like constructive criticism. No one attacked you in no way shape or form. But it does look like you are itching for a fight Therapy would be my very first stop if I were you to work out why you hate women so much and why your point of view is the only right point of view. Hope you choose the correct path. You have a lovely day sir.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I don't think your problem in finding a relationship is weight related.

[RyansGirl89 67]

Unless you can be happy with yourself, you cannot be happy with someone else.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Okaaaaayyyy, let's start over ! Hi Lord Justice , welcome to the WLS forum !! Lots of people have questions regarding dating, relationship etc, but usually their 1st post doesn't start out with " I've lost 140 lbs and I can't find anyone, so Im giving up." That just starts a negitive thread. How about a little more info regarding YOU ? Where are you in your daily life ? Any issues with your WLS ? Hobbies and interests ? Favorite positive thing about losing weight, or best exercise habit ? Job, pets, travel, family ? Do you have a "bucket list ?" Favorite books, tv shows or movies ? As we get to know you , you 'll find that people are more willing to help when they feel its a fair " give and take ". Just sayin '. Hope this helps !! Have a good day !!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Men have been wondering since the beginning of time what the "H" it is that we women want.

We don't deserve to all be put in the same bucket any more than you guys do.

He is the 411 on what women want. (And it wouldn't hurt to watch the Mel Gibson movie "What Women Want."

We want a man who wants a real woman. There are not that many Playboy Bunny Barbie Dolls out there looking for an ordinary guy who chops wood or fixes cars. A real woman comes in all shapes and sizes and has her share of baggage, too.

If you are looking for a woman who will take care of you, chances are she is looking for a man who will take care of her, who has a job and a car and does not live with relatives.

A woman who smells all girly like daisies and vanilla is looking for a man who has good hygiene and smells good, too.

Some women like the shaved rat look, I guess, but there are more of us who want a "manly man" who carries his masculinity with strength and humility. It looks like you have long hair. Well, Willie Nelson does, too, and for an old dude, he is kinda sexy. (I am an old woman, so maybe that's why I think that!)

If you want a woman who is soft and gentle, then you need to be gentle too, a man with a slow hand, an easy touch, one who uses his hands for caressing and wiping tears and helping with the dishes - not one who causes harm or despair.

A woman who is nurturing will more likely be in the nursing or teaching professions. She may be a single mother with kids, or the cashier at the store. When my man found me (after we both had been thrown away twice) I was supervising housekeepers at an amusement park. Incidentally, we met online, not at work.

That's another thing. Don't look for your meat where you get your bread. It's messy. Just sayin'.

Are you looking for a pretty young thing? Ben Franklin wrote a letter to a young friend advising him to dally with older women. If you don't like the way she looks, put a basket over her head. In the dark all cats are gray.

What I am advising is that since if you have your antennas out for the perfect woman, you are out of luck. By the time you find her, she will be looking for the perfect man. One thing that attracted my man and me is that we were honest and upfront about our personal assets and liabilities, and in nine years' time neither one of us has attempted to change anything about the other.

Will you find a mate if you quit looking? Nope. You gotta stay out there and don't give up.

[Chrystee 838]

I just want to give you big hugs.. it can be hard out there. I can understand, because my Mom is 51, got divorced a few years ago, then was in a not so great relationship for 5 years, and now is single, and she is having a really hard time finding someone. She is not a super bubbly fun person, and was overweight a long time, now she is skinny and still has a hard time. I think she thought losing all the weight would make her instantly attractive, but she's having a hard time.. I'm not saying you are like her in any way, but I felt like I could feel the same things she has been saying and venting about sounds very similar to what you were.

I would highly suggest a counselor. She found one because she sort of picks the same men, and wanted to find out why she does. Her counselor has given her great advice on how to find men, how to react to the games people play, etc.. It can be hard to feel like you gave up comfort foods for nothing.. but your health is worth it too!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Miss Mac - That is a great summary, well done. Not that I live up to that, but still very good.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Thanks. Glad I picked up something useful along the way.

[umo 86]

Sorry for your dilemma, stay healthy all around and keep looking. Its alright to be frustrated and to accept criticism and advice. If I were at your stage of the journey, I would checking off a bucket list of all those things I missed out on while overweight - you might find your friend along that journey.

All the best!!!

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

My take on this is as follows...

Losing weight doesn't change who you are..

It only changes what you look like..

Take me for example...

8 months ago, I was a fat, self centred, sarcastic, opinionated 45 yr old guy...

Sure, I had my bad points too, but those are for another post...

Now, 8 months (and 150-ish pounds.. GO ME!!) later, I'm still EXACTLY the same person...

I just weigh less..

I'm still seld-centred...

Still sarcastic...

Still opinionated...

Just lighter..

I'm guessing that I'm no more 'attractive' now than I was then..

Perhaps less 'unattractive'...

But ultimately, I'm still the same obnoxious ass that I was ..

Being fat/overweight/obese is a physicality...

As I've posted elsewhere, it's what you are, not who you are...

My opinion is that who you are has much more bearing on your relative 'attractiveness', as opposed to what you are..

But then again I could be wrong...

It's happened before..

All the best to you mate...

Kinda...

_{***Please note that the above post is not pointed at anyone in particular. It is merely the ramblings of a man who knows stuff. It should be read with a grain of salt...}

_{If that's possible..}

_{But anyway, you know what I mean...***}

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

NULL

@@NULL

i guess the initial post has been deleted??

and his replies??

can't see anything

sorry i missed

sounds like it was a doozy

anyone check out his profile???

kathy

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

@@proudgrammy All I see is NULL, as well. Everything was deleted. how weird is that?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

My take on this is as follows...

Losing weight doesn't change who you are..

It only changes what you look like..

Take me for example...

8 months ago, I was a fat, self centred, sarcastic, opinionated 45 yr old guy...

Sure, I had my bad points too, but those are for another post...

Now, 8 months (and 150-ish pounds.. GO ME!!) later, I'm still EXACTLY the same person...

I just weigh less..

I'm still seld-centred...

Still sarcastic...

Still opinionated...

Just lighter..

I'm guessing that I'm no more 'attractive' now than I was then..

Perhaps less 'unattractive'...

But ultimately, I'm still the same obnoxious ass that I was ..

Being fat/overweight/obese is a physicality...

As I've posted elsewhere, it's what you are, not who you are...

My opinion is that who you are has much more bearing on your relative 'attractiveness', as opposed to what you are..

But then again I could be wrong...

It's happened before..

All the best to you mate...

Kinda...

_{***Please note that the above post is not pointed at anyone in particular. It is merely the ramblings of a man who knows stuff. It should be read with a grain of salt...}

_{If that's possible..}

_{But anyway, you know what I mean...***}

...a fat, self centered, sarcastic, opinionated 45 yr old guy...

But a self aware one, and that's HUGE.

[Jangy03253 56]

@@KindaFamiliar you are 100% correct. I do not care what a man looks like as far as he is kind and loving ect. But give me a tall dark and handsome that is an egotistical self centered jerk well he would be ugly to me. So yes attractive has to come from the whole package to me.

[gowalking 10,790]

Me thinks maybe a troll at work....or he just didn't like the responses he was getting.