Emotions

starrlighter · November 9, 2004

My question is about the emotional side of the lap band surgery. After you have the surgery and you feel up fast physically, what about the mental aspect of eating? I know for myself I eat for emotional reasons. Happy, sad, mad, tired, etc. How do you handle that mental feeling of wanting to eat all the time? If I

could get control of that, I wouldn't need the surgery. How does one help the other if you get my meaning? I will appreciate any insight into this pondering.

Sincerely, Starrla

sassaay · November 9, 2004

Hi Starrla,

I am most definitely an emotional eater, but I can tell you this... even though I have only had one fill and am not at my 'sweet spot' so many others speak about... I cannot eat for emotional reasons like I use to. This is not to say that I don't sometimes still overeat or eat when I am not physically hungry... but even with the fill level I have today I cannot eat the volume of food I ate in pre-Band. I use to graze all day and I just can't do this anymore. I use to think about food constantly (when is my next meal, what will it be, how good will it taste)... now I find that sometimes I even forget about eating and the pleasure it use to provide.

I don't know if I can make it through this journey without ever seeking therapy to deal with the emotional reasons why I turn to food for comfort, but the Lap-Band has given me a push in the right direction and for that I am forever greatful.

I wish you all the best and good luck in your journey.

Marimaru · November 9, 2004

I cry more than I used to. I was upset about something a week or so ago and sat down and thought to myself "damnit I want to eat something". That was strange. I'd never thought about it before, I would just wander in and grab whatever, but I can't just go do that now. I have to be careful what I eat... if I eat junk calories, then my calorie intake will be higher while I'm trying to get in my protien. I don't count any of that stuff, but I try and have a good calorie/protein ratio.

I think that at some point I will want to go get some therapy, but I don't think my brain is ready for it yet. I know that I just recently realized what an impact my dad's diet nazi tactics from when I was a kid have on me today.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. lol

Sue Gaddis · November 9, 2004

I recently went into Therapy 2 weeks ago to get rid of the demons that have haunted me for years, and are part of the reason that I eat. There was a lady who came to our support meeting last month and talked about what triggers us to eat. We need to figure out the triggers, so that we can re-train ourselves to either eat something healthy. We need to train ourselves to eat things that are going to make us healthy, feed our body with items that it needs. Instead of items that aren't good for you.

Penni60 · November 9, 2004

Sue and the rest: I just went through a particularly trying time emotionally. Loss of step-father's dad, a favorite aunt, a family pet of over 10 yrs, and the death of all my pet coi fish all within two months time. Not to mention my mom's health is failing. So pre-banding I would have resorted to eating everything in sight including the kitchen sink. Now I decide first if I am hungry and if I am not then I find something else to occupy my mind and cravings. The emotional craving is worse than the physical in my opinion. Harder to deal with. You can get something to eat and the physical is satisfied. The emotional craving will NEVER be satisfied. NEVER. So you have to ask yourself what is making you eat to try to fill that need. Mine was to go numb and not deal with all the pressures and stressors of life. When I realized that I was not only doing myself a dis-service but harm I elected to look at WHY I was eating when I was not hungry. I had to face some really horrible demons but I successfully exorcised them. It is hard work and not always work we want to do but if you want to get healthy and stop the cycle then you must do the work. Hope this helps.

La_madam · November 9, 2004

Alot of people experience emotions soon after surgery. I cried the first month..I finally figured it out. It was becasue before banding I used to eat when I was upset..since I could not eat any longer my emotions came out in true form. I'm so much better now. I do like Penni does.. I only eat when I am truly hungry..not when I think I'm hungry. There is such a big difference now! I find things to occupy my mind when I want to eat cuz I think i'm hungry..I'm enjoying my weight loss and the things I can do now because of it..so no emotional eating is going to get in the way of that!

adoorme9 · November 12, 2004

hi, starrla

emotional eatting ,is one of the most, and hardess to control, and face up to, because, their are so many, reasons and excuses on how not to deal with , family, friends, neobghors, self,.. the band , helps you to think, on why?, and deep think on stop.. when you soul search yourself, you face the worse enemy that has ever stop you from having a good and health life. yourself.

now , you have to start liken yourself , and stop putting all that dislike and angry, and all that people have said about you, and tryed to pound in your head, that's not even true, and find out who? you really are.

you are going to find..that you are a loving , careing , supportive, and vivarin, person, which , nobody, has ever got to know... and with the help of the band, since you won't be running to the refiguator, 24/7,, every time , someone said some thing that ,would make you cry, or hurt you .. and eat.. now.... you have the freedom to say no no no ,i don't think of myself that why, and i can say no to eatting emoitional..

because, if you do try to stuff your face with your little bittie stomach, you will have such a pain that, ..you won't forget.. and that , helps you to see how, you better deal with it in another way, so , you start dealing. why ?, what?, hurts, who hurt you, who' your real friends and who really, loves you for who you really are, and are willing to put the old you , in the past, and help you to nurture ... the new , and beautyful person. that's been hideing all those years, trying to be tough , because, every body else was,,.. enjoy you life.. now.. i sometime go to the refiguator, 3or4 times and wonder... what am i doing in front of the refige.. and i go back to the why.? because, it was such a habit before , i didn't realized ,how often i did this.. now ,i'm aware of it.. at times we need to really think, what is best for us. now... you took this step to get better mentally and physcially, is a fight..keep pushing, you have a long round in the ring..maybe 12 rounds.. only, you know how, hard and long, is going to be....but, becareful and listen to your best new friend you, and a lot of us didn't need the band , but we probably realized it to late. is not bad. but, i don't think we could have done it our own selfs. we were woren out . and needed help really bad..

margie,

----------------------------------------------

margie

295/257.8/-37

4/5/04 band

dr. texiria, bx, ny.

montifore hospt.

THE BATTLE HAS STARTED ,CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS, CAUSE,(IS GOING TO BE A BUMPY RIDE A HEAD)

momoffour · November 12, 2004

Boy.. this is all so familiar. It is so comforting to read these post and think, wow, it's not just me. I had a pretty crappy childhood, well..really crappy. But, with counceling and such i'm a pretty happy person besides my weight. I never really thought of eating as something I did to comfort me when I was down. But, looking now geez was it. Yesterday was the first day i've really been out doing errands and such.. it hit me that I CAN NOT stop for lunch... no fast food no chinese buffet. I started crying. I wanted pizza! My husband used to say "we haven't even finished lunch and you're wondering what we're doing for dinner" It was true. I hate being home during the day alone. So, after kids went to school, i'd take my son to Breakfast and play at mc Ds for awhile, then target or mall... have lunch and then dinner usually at home or out..without eating out.. what was there to do? Well.. sorry for rambling, but I guess i ate for comfort, at when i was sad , ate when i was happy ate to socialize, blah blah blah.. anyway, i guess my important question is.. will i ever be able to have pizza again??

leatha_g · November 12, 2004

pizza crust was the very first thing that I ever 'slimed' on. The dough (bread) is very notorious for sticking in your tiny stoma on the way down. Not fun!

If there is some around, which we do at work sometimes. I will take it and eat the toppings. Some Pizza Crust is very thin and crisp and sometimes (depending on restriction) I can eat it. However, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that pizza is probably not the most weight loss conducive food available, right? lol.

The answer is, yes, you will probably get to eat pizza on occasion, but I do think the band is more geared to 'hard proteins' which stay in your pouch longer, which help you to be less hungry, which have less calories, which help you to reach your weight loss goals.

Honestly, since my first bad experience with it. I'm actually kind of afraid of it. Which is a good thing.

PamRN · November 12, 2004

I find this site to be an excellant resource for therapy, the support is awesome, the ability to discuss ANYTHING, read of others similar experiences, and sometimes just being able to read with no need to speak gives me strength, hope, & inspiration like nothing else.

When I need emotional support, I come here, and try to repay what I gain by being informative and supportive of others.

New Hope · November 12, 2004

I feel happier and more alive since getting my band and losing some weight! I have emotions and that's good! I don't want to be stuck on "auto-pilot" any more! There's a whole world out there to enjoy without focusing totally on food. I did go through a brief "grieving" stage right after banding, but it passed. And we've all thought "If I could do this, I wouldn't need help." But we couldn't, and the band gives us that extra boost that we need to keep trying every day. Sometimes we mess up, but it's temporary, and we get back on track.

starrlighter · November 15, 2004

Thank you so much for all of the imput. I am still very concerned how I will deal with all of the emotional eating after the surgery, but I believe this will give me the edge I need to succeed at overcoming the food addiction as well as the emotional eating I do.

Dr appt 11/18 hope for the best!

thanks to all who wrote in,

Starrla