Tired of being judged and questioned (Low BMI)

[Dub 9,922]

After attending the nutrition class a woman siting across from me said "I've been looking at you the whole time you are small why are you getting the procedure". I responded and said "it is a personal decision". Then the lady next too me asked "have you had your psych evaluation" I said "yes" then she asked "what did he say". I responded "nothing but I don't think no one's decision can trump the surgeon's". I am so upset and no one knows my struggle. I am tired of people placing judgment and questioning my decision with the procedure. I am so disappointed and really need some support right about now just because I don't look like I have a BMI of 36.6 I do based upon my height and weight.

There were some really cool folks in the various group classes I took leading up to the surgery, however, there were two in particular that I wanted permission to choke-slam them after tossing them into the turnbuckles...WWE style.....and then a few smacks with folding chairs.

In both cases they wanted to quiz fellow members on why they made certain decisions, why this, why that. It was maddening. We are all sitting there internalizing the material presented, getting our bearings....and these two idiots are all in your space....quizzing you......judging you.

I think the upshot of it all was these two were lost as hell....but instead of using the classroom time to sort it out like the rest of us.....they went on attack mode. The presenters were pros, however, and quickly regained control of the class and neutralized the fools. It became evident to me that there is one in every class and the presenters see it ALL the time and have strategies to negate the bullcrap. This calmed me down.....but for a minute I wanted to climb up on the top ring rope and go all Nacho Libre on them.

Your reasons for having surgery are between you, your surgeon and God. Everyone else is a matter of how much you want to let them in. Smack a fool that tries to pry.

Edited October 29, 2015 by Dub

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Having a BMI of 35 with comorbidities is sufficient qualification for WLS. Obviously, some people (including some WLS patients) don't know this.

Then there's the good chance we'll run into assholes who are also WLS patients.

I'm not a fan of stereotyping, but here goes anyway: There's a "type" of morbidly obese person who's the biggest, baddest grizzly bear in the room. She or he is always right, loud, snarky, over-sharing, microphone-grabbing, heavy-sighing, head-shaking, eye-rolling, and goes all alpha-female or alpha-male when someone doesn't knuckle under to her/his opinions of what's right and wrong. They're also prone to stomping out of the room when asked to tone it down. And to borrow @@Dub 's wrestling metaphor (loved it!), women of this ilk like to find another like-minded woman to tag-team with and discipline other group members.

I suppose people like this are very unhappy, and that's understandable, given their physical and emotional challenges. But jeez, I always want to ask security to escort them out.

[Dub 9,922]

Having a BMI of 35 with comorbidities is sufficient qualification for WLS. Obviously, some people (including some WLS patients) don't know this.

Then there's the good chance we'll run into assholes who are also WLS patients.

I'm not a fan of stereotyping, but here goes anyway: There's a "type" of morbidly obese person who's the biggest, baddest grizzly bear in the room. She or he is always right, loud, snarky, over-sharing, microphone-grabbing, heavy-sighing, head-shaking, eye-rolling, and goes all alpha-female or alpha-male when someone doesn't knuckle under to her/his opinions of what's right and wrong. They're also prone to stomping out of the room when asked to tone it down. And to borrow @@Dub 's wrestling metaphor (loved it!), women of this ilk like to find another like-minded woman to tag-team with and discipline other group members.

I suppose people like this are very unhappy, and that's understandable, given their physical and emotional challenges. But jeez, I always want to ask security to escort them out.

'Twas no metaphor.........I truly wanted to smack 'em with folding chairs.

For the record....one of them was a big ole 6-sammich eating dude.

[Cutepretty1 121]

Thank you all for your support and phrases that I could use to give a response. With that being said I moved my surgery date up to December 8th. I am so grateful that I found this sight and appreciate the insight from everyone!!! xoxoxo!

[Llamalover17 5]

I'm so glad you posted this. I go for first orientation session on Monday and was worried but the same thing. Everyone I have mentioned intentions to gives me the same response. Except those that are post op of course. ???? I have a BMI of 37 but have serious issues with my type 2 insulin dependent diabetes. My knees and joints are achy all the time and my cholesterol and blood pressure is elevated.

I can explain all of this but I am tired of needing to. Miss Macs response is perfect. I hope you don't in but I intend to steal it every chance I get.

[perforce 243]

Then the lady next too me asked "have you had your psych evaluation" I said "yes" then she asked "what did he say".

"He said if the complete stranger next to you at the weight loss group starts questioning you about your private psych results you should tell them to mind their own business"

Edited November 1, 2015 by perforce

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

Then the lady next too me asked "have you had your psych evaluation" I said "yes" then she asked "what did he say".

"He said if the complete stranger next to you at the weight loss group starts questioning you about your private psych results you should tell them to mind their own business"

(Alex Trebek): "That's correct for $1000. We also could have accepted as an answer: You must continue to work hard at resisting the urge to cause physical harm to nosey strangers".

[Kindle 8,667]

Tell them you have stomach cancer and need your stomach removed. your oncologist referred you to this Bariatric surgeon because he has the most experience with the procedure. You've already lost a lot of weight from the radiation and chemo. That'll shut em up.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

There's a "type" of morbidly obese person who's the biggest, baddest grizzly bear in the room. She or he is always right, loud, snarky, over-sharing, microphone-grabbing, heavy-sighing, head-shaking, eye-rolling, and goes all alpha-female or alpha-male when someone doesn't knuckle under to her/his opinions of what's right and wrong. They're also prone to stomping out of the room when asked to tone it down.

Every f*%king weight watchers meeting EVER.

[charjsweet 27]

I think being brave enough to go through surgery to have a healthier life and lifestyle should be applauded. It's not our problem as patients. It's negative people's problem if they'd rather spend time commenting than improving their own lives.