Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Anyone not telling family?



Recommended Posts

I only told my husband. He urged me to tell the children & my family, but I didn't.He was afraid something would happen during surgery & he would have to explain it to my family. This was a very personal decision & i want to keep it that way.:o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just emphasize to them 2 things: (1) it's not easy; I have done a complete lifestyle change and (2) that if I ever begin to gain weight, I will look into the LapBand surgery.

that is a REALLY good way to put it! i will totally think about that next time anything is said. but still just being my age and haveing friends that are my age (living where i live) i would get rude comments just because fashion and looks mean alot to ppl here so o well. im happy with who i am and the choices i have made. but i REALLY like those ideas. thank you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi All. It's really nice that lots of you told your family. I told only my room-mate. I too talked up the whole 'healthy lifestyle/detox' thing for weeks before surgery. i dont plan to ever tell anyone else. Unless I get married or something!

keep up the good work everyone!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I live out of state from my family and I have not told them. I am going to see them on Saturday, but will not tell them. I have told a few friends of mine and actually I wish I hadn't told some of them. I don't want to talk about my eating/not eating all the time. I have three children ages 8-15 and I told them all what I was doing. They have been very supportive, even more so than my adult friends. My one child is chubby and I did worry about him, but so far I don't see any problems. When my brother came to town (13 days post op) I explained to my kids that I had choosen not to tell my brother and they thought it was strange, but I said it is a private issue for me and they were good. Now that I am recovered it is really a non issue and I don't think the topic will come up when I am visiting next week. I try not to draw attention to what I am eating.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

SD - you and I must be the minority - I am proud that I took a stance in my life to correct a problem I could not control. I was not going to tell my kids until after it was done - but the surgery center called and told my daughter the time, date, place and how much money I should bring...I thought so much for privacy....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For the first time someone outside of my immediate family noticed the weight loss, and asked me how. I said I had talked to my doctor, (true) went to a local hospital that has an obesity sort of clinic (also true) and that the new way to eat is teeny tiny bites, making the meal last 20-30 minutes (true again) and that I even use a smaller plate and fork to make sure the bites are small (all true!) I mentioned I put the fork down between bites etc etc etc. Everything is true, and she sees me walking the dogs in the evening now since she lives next door, but I am not telling about the surgery. It's no one's business but mine. Even my mother doesn't know about it, she was told the same things I told the neighbor. She lives 4 hours away, so she hasn't seen me, but I'm preparing everyone for the difference in eating habits by telling them the exact thing I told my neighbor. yeah, there are lies by omission, but I really don't think not telling about surgery is lying. To each their own though, everyone must do what is right for them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told a couple family members and select friends, but not anyone at work. I feel they would use it against me. I don't have time for their negativity. This is a very special time for all of us. Good luck to all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×