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The flipside of love



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So..I'm happy with the boyfriend...very happy as a matter of fact. But...the flipside is that I have gained ten pounds since we've started seeing each other. No question as to why the gain. I'm eating out more...not being as mindful as I have been, slacked off on the exercise... Shall I go on? This really must stop. It's not his doing, it's mine. I know he's going to want Chinese food tomorrow night but either I'll have to get something steamed without sauce or better still, just tell him no, we need to go or bring in something better for me. I also have to slow down the drinking. I like a glass or two of wine with dinner but since I'm eating out more, I'm also drinking more. Have to reset and get myself back under control.

This is insidious..this creeping up of the weight. It's little by little, but it adds up. I just may have to speak with my surgeon about getting a small fill. Haven't needed one but maybe it's time.

Will keep you all posted. As you know, I post both the good and bad so no one has an unrealistic idea of surgery, weight loss/gain, and the tediousness of mindful eating during maintenance...which I expect will last the rest of my life. 'Always vigilant' will have to be my motto.

You folks keep me honest and this is part of that honesty.

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I'm right there with you! I've been seeing small increases here and there and then I tighten my belt and get back to the basics those come off then I start relaxing again, not being so mindful and there they are again. I've been swaying 5-7lbs for about a year now. It's ok but I just want to get control over it so the 5-7 doesn't become 20. In my opinion maintenance is a lot more trying then the weight loss. I think it's because we've hit where we want to be but we're no longer fitting into different sizes, our new us is now just us. The comments have stopped and everyone now just sees us as us, they don't remember the "old" so in a way we forget too?

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How about cooking healthy at home, together ? Saves money and calories, and you still get to spend time together. Also, with your lovely New York winter coming your way, you'll be spending less time outdoors, etc and more time indoors , close to all that comfort food. Soooooo, where do you want to be at the holidays ? Ten pounds less or another 10 pounds heavier ???? Your call.

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Oh, love's bliss has got your mind elsewhere!!! I have full confidence you'll reign in the eating/drinking because you know how important this is. Constant, consistant vigilance indeed.

I think this is where the band is a tougher tool than, say, the sleeve or bypass. Because it does allow us so much more leeway, whereas the other tools have much more dramatic consequences to not remaining compliant.

Sending you renewed committment, and total confidence that you will take off the 10 lbs and get back to your new normal.

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OK...so took a step in the right direction. As you may or may not know, NYC apartment kitchens are not like on TV or in the movies. They are tiny tiny rooms with minimal storage. I ordered a blender so I could use it for smoothies. I know that these drinks can also be calorie laden but I will make sure they are healthy and not full of empty calories.

In order to have room for the blender, I had to go through my one storage cabinet and start to get rid of things. Tossed some of the pots I know I don't need...and got rid of a large colander as well. These items were used by me for mostly Pasta related cooking. These days, a small strainer and small saucepan is enough as I never cook more than a cup of Pasta at one time. Then that cup is portioned out and frozen into 1/4 cup amounts.

So, as I started to rid myself of some of these items, I took stock of what has changed in the nearly three years since I've used the big pot and colander. I haven't binged on pasta in all that time. Didn't eat till I was stupified as I had done. I recalled how I'd limp home..in terrible pain, just to eat to excess knowing that I was only making my condition worse.

So the pots are now gone, and so is the joint pain. So is 145 lbs. So is all my fat clothes. What has changed? I move normally. I fit everywhere. I'm not ashamed of my size. I can sit on the floor with my grandson and play with him. I'll be able to climb the monkey bars with him as well when he's old enough to go to the playground. I can put him on my lap as I now have one. I wear pretty clothes. I wear makeup, do my nails, hair, etc. Men notice me. One man in particular notices me and I'm very happy with him so far. I sleep in someone's arms again. Oh how I missed that.

Basically, when you add up the pluses and minuses, life without eating to excess is certainly a better thing than a big bowl of spaghetti and sauce.

I'll get this thing under control...I know I will. I can't ever let myself get the way I was. And with folks like me, ten pounds might as well be 110 pounds.

Thank you friends for your comments. I appreciate your support..I need your support.

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I hope we are all here for the long run ... Good and bad... Highs and lows. Literally.

Thanks for the insight Liz .

3 weeks til my fill and I'm beginning to struggle. Yikes. Just when I got complacent after 8 years and thought I had it covered! Not so true.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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