Really, really scared about surgery

[sonnysun 15]

My surgery date is September 28th. I am 5'6 and about 240 lbs. 36 years old.

My husband came home today and was telling me about a story he heard on NPR tonight about a man who lost his wife during the 9/11 attacks and that they had a young child that would wake up screaming at night wanting her Mama.

That is tragic and makes me teary thinking about, but then he said that after that all he could think of was my 3 year old and how devastated she would be if I died during surgery and how there's a chance they could lose me.

Ironically, I teach school and came across a passage today that was a mother with terminal cancer saying goodbye to her son, which was also heart wrenching.

I have never had surgery before, and the thought of it (now) terrifies me. Not for myself, but it feels so selfish to put myself at risk to leave my children. I understand that statistically, I am likely to be fine, but I struggle with anxiety anyway and this has become an unwelcome, irrational thought that has me in tears several times a day, to the point where I am considering canceling the surgery.

I am just hoping to get some support and ease my mind.

Also, I'd love to know if others struggle with intrusive thoughts such as this.

[BariatricBarb 84]

Negative thoughts worm their way through our minds and it's tough to get past. The thing is that obesity is more likely to cause more problems, possibly life-threatening diseases and problems that could take you from your children than the surgery is. I'm in my late 40s, and my only regret is that I didn't have this surgery when I was younger. Before the blood pressure problems, before gynecological problems that could only be corrected by hysterectomy. Before the degeneration of discs in my back that resulted in spinal surgery. Before the knee problems, hip problems, and sleep apnea... My point is that this surgery isn't selfish. And canceling it makes future health problems and surgeries more likely. Do this to have a great life with your children when they are growing up. You won't be sorry.

[mamascientist 1]

Hey Sonnysun! I hear ya! My surgery is scheduled for Dec 30th, I am 33, CW 242 and also have a 3 yr old (a boy). Thankfully, last year I did get surgery and underwent a tonsillectomy. Super not fun, and I was definitely scared the morning of! I know a lot more now than I did then, and I will be praying and getting my affairs in order, just in case. But-honestly, I have to trust the surgeon and the team in there! And if you are confident in them, you will be fine!! I will say that it took me a good 2 full weeks to get some energy back. Yep! So get some help with the 3yr old, and try to sleep during their nap/quiet time/or if they are in preschool. Really helps! Good luck to you, but don't cancel. You will be fine!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I just had an epiphany before surgery and decided I was dying slow anyway. I had nothing to lose going into surgery.

I was/am an active person and I wasn't hidden away missing out on life. My weight has affect my live in a negative way, except I felt my health was starting to take too rapid a turn south for someone in their 30s.

You have to get yourself to a place where you are comfortable with surgery and feel good about it. You need to go into surgery calm, collected and thinking positive thoughts.

You are only this young once, don't let fear rob you of better health.

[pindoctor 49]

Statistically you are more likely of dying from an obesity related condition than from the surgery. I am 9 days post op and I can share with you that having this surgery has been a huge relief. I had a ton of anxiety before the surgery and now I'm fine. My biggest fear was that I'd wake up and be miserable and regret my decision to have surgery. None of this has happened and I have not yet once regretted my decision. It's pretty great to not be hungry, and then to eat a little bit and not feeling like eating much. I have never had this feeling of early satiety EVER in my live. So forge ahead, you'll do great. Hopefully you can get some help with your kids.

[kanaud 70]

Hi Sunnysun. I'm 37 with a 2 and 4 year old. I have been having very similar thoughts run through my head. I think that's to be expected. But I also have happy thoughts of being able to keep up with them, and liking the park instead of dreading it, being able to go on bike rides with them and my big one...take pictures with them, not having to crop myself out! You got this mama!

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

@@sonnysun, you know the statistics so that won't help. What should help is knowing that your current path is not a healthy one and this surgery will be a tool for you to turn your life around. Your daughter needs you and will be so proud of her mom who took control of her life. You will be around for many milestones with her when you are in a healthier state.

This is a major surgery and not something to take lightly but the odds are in your favor with a great surgery team. We always hear about the tragedies in life because they make better story telling but the successes far outweigh those. You will be so glad when you are on the other side of this and losing the weight.

Hang in there, you are almost there! Good luck and God bless!