I am a control freak. I take medicine for it.

I get real grumpy reading threads/chats from bandsters who say

"I'm not losing, I am disappointed, I don't know what is wrong ".

Lots of helpful/well meaning bandsters or pre bandsters make suggestions .

Then those same people say

"Well I'm not eating like I should, I'm eating wrong things or too much ,I should be exercising but I'm not".

As the old saying goes DUH?

Feels good to get this off my chest.

I'm ready to get slammed but it is an attitude from bandsters that gets me crazy and :Banane10:.

edie

edie...i couldn't have said it any better!!!!

i feel the same way as you.

thanks

Grumpys aren't just a stage for me.

People come on here looking for validation of their bad behavior, like our fellow bandsters telling us, "there, there, it's okay you just ate New York a week after surgery" is going to make everything all right. Listen to your doctor, make your decisions based on your head, not your appetite, and take responsibility for your actions, dammit. And no, I don't always make good decisions (see references to Indian frybread earlier), but I know I done wrong and I know it's my fault. I'm not looking for the rest of you to tell me it was just fine.

While I can agree that it is annoying to read "why aren't I losing?" from those who then admit that they are eating too much or eating wrong foods, not exercising, etc, I think some people are being a little harsh in their judgements of those asking "why aren't I losing?" in the post-op period.

I started reading in this forum in Sept/Oct and read thousands of posts and threads in the time up to my operation. I read just about the entire pre-op/post-op faqs, the complications sections, support sections and more. I thought I was really well-prepared and thoroughly understood the process that I would go through. I was wrong.

Somehow, in all my reading, I had missed the information about the plateau/regain pattern that most people seem to experience in the post-op period. I had read thread after thread about it but still didn't really get it until it happened to me. All the replies seemed to focus on "well you don't have restriction yet", so I took that as meaning that people without restriction had gone back to eating their pre-op huge meals and that was causing the stall. I didn't know that I would hit this plateau, even when following the rules to the letter! I don't know how I missed that information, because AFTER I got caught by that and posted about it, I suddenly started seeing similar threads everywhere that gave the full picture. Maybe it was a blind spot and I just didn't want to see the "negative picture" - I don't know.

Also, when I was asking about my plateau, I also admitted that I was one of those people who made an error in judgement and ate something I wasn't supposed to (in my case, chicken at about 10 days post-op). I was only out by a few days by MY surgeon's rules and it didn't seem that big a deal to me, as I did all the chew, chew, chew things and took it really slowly with no lasting effects. However, I got absolutely slammed by several people and told I would cause slippage, permanent damage, etc, etc.

In terms of computer forums, this is one of the biggest I've ever seen and there is a LOT of information in here for people to digest and assimilate. It doesn't surprise me at all that people miss information and ask the same "stupid" questions over and over. Hunting among the thousands of threads can be very intimidating when one first comes in and if the question you want to ask isn't visible in the first index page, it seems easier to just ask again and hope that a sympathetic person will respond.

In my case, that post-op stall made me so frustrated that I slipped up - one time! I got back on track immediately and eventually worked out that the plateau was normal and not because I was doing something wrong. What made it particularly irritating was that the person who slammed me the hardest was banded a week after I was and was still in the 2-3 days post-op where most people don't feel hungry. After ripping into me, she then posted her own call out for sympathy, when she hit the same wall 10 days later. Poetic justice is good :biggrin:

Anyway, sorry for ranting but I do feel that some of us aren't giving others enough of a break as they come to terms with this radically life-changing procedure.

You're right, Fanny, it's a huge forum and I certainly don't mind people asking the same question over and over again. The forum is so big that half the time I can't find a thread even when I saw it earlier and know where it should be.

There are very few of us who NEVER did anything contrary to our doctor's orders. I started solids two days early because we were on vacation celebrating our 30th anniversary, and I was having a lot of trouble . . . well, no, because I wanted to eat. I'm not talking about those people when I said people come here to validate their bad behavior. I'm talking about the ones who, over and over again on a daily basis, do things to circumvent the band, and then come on here wanting other bandsters to tell them they are doing fine, or at very least, it's not their fault that they aren't losing weight or their band slipped. There was a bandster on my doctor's forum that came on three or four times in the first two weeks after surgery explaining how she had eaten fried chicken, hamburgers, you name it, and was it okay? Well, no, it isn't okay.Then she would go on how she was so scared she was doing damage, would she be all right? She hasn't written lately, so I assume she isn't all right and knows who's responsible.

By the way, looks like you are doing great 6 weeks' post-op. thanks for putting your ticker on in kg and lb so the metrically challenged among us can watch your progress.

I woke up with a cold this morning, so now I know why I was so grumpy yesterday!