Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Husband rant!



Recommended Posts

I cannot complain now about my husband. He notices and he will flat out tell anyone who ask she has worked out and watched everything she puts into her mouth. She amazes me has fallen out more than once! It feels great when he tells others, BUT he doesn't tell me! I have shared every pound with him. He has seen me struggle and helped me choose the healthy option when I struggled to make good decisions. He is quick to tell me when I don't need to wear those pants that I insisted on wearing because the were falling off my butt. He just never really voices that I look good. It comes out in spurts, and I look forward to them. One day I put on a skirt and he said, wow! He is very unemotional and his parents raising him we quick to tell him how awful he was (which he isn't) and the praises were few. He is not me! I do know that in the almost 15 years I've been married that this was an issue long before the surgery. It has taken years of telling him I love him, I miss him, I want him to hold me or whatever it was I wanted for him to just do it. It's bad habits that have been built. I use to tease him that in my next life I wanted to come back as his cell phone. I even chime out, ring ring!! He knows exactly what It means when I do it. The point in me telling you this is that my work on the man I married is now the fabulous husband I have now. It takes time and if you want it, you have to be willing to give a lot of time and effort. Yes it feels great to walk by and have my husband grab at my butt or put his hand on my back and rub a little. Both because it's obvious that my body is different. That is his way of saying he notices it without saying it. It's a two way road and my biggest fear is losing him, I now know his biggest fear is losing me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with @@VSGAnn2014 . My hubs and I have been married 28 years. I decided to do this, and he only had concerns about the safety of the procedure. Once I was healed, and we were out walking or hiking, and he had his best bud back...he's been great. The same guy I married, and the same guy he was the day of my surgery. No drama, no head games, no threats, or insecurities. I'd say my guy is pretty normal. I'd say some of these other guys are not normal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I cannot complain now about my husband. He notices and he will flat out tell anyone who ask she has worked out and watched everything she puts into her mouth. She amazes me has fallen out more than once! It feels great when he tells others, BUT he doesn't tell me! I have shared every pound with him. He has seen me struggle and helped me choose the healthy option when I struggled to make good decisions. He is quick to tell me when I don't need to wear those pants that I insisted on wearing because the were falling off my butt. He just never really voices that I look good. It comes out in spurts, and I look forward to them. One day I put on a skirt and he said, wow! He is very unemotional and his parents raising him we quick to tell him how awful he was (which he isn't) and the praises were few. He is not me! I do know that in the almost 15 years I've been married that this was an issue long before the surgery. It has taken years of telling him I love him, I miss him, I want him to hold me or whatever it was I wanted for him to just do it. It's bad habits that have been built. I use to tease him that in my next life I wanted to come back as his cell phone. I even chime out, ring ring!! He knows exactly what It means when I do it. The point in me telling you this is that my work on the man I married is now the fabulous husband I have now. It takes time and if you want it, you have to be willing to give a lot of time and effort. Yes it feels great to walk by and have my husband grab at my butt or put his hand on my back and rub a little. Both because it's obvious that my body is different. That is his way of saying he notices it without saying it. It's a two way road and my biggest fear is losing him, I now know his biggest fear is losing me.

Mine sounds similar.. Man, trying to get emotion out of him.. is like pulling teeth.. but he shows me in different ways..

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

My husband is not an asshole at all.. He had a horrible childhood and (maybe you weren't talking about him) but giving compliments comes so hard for him. It used to frustrate me.. but I realized he just is who he is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I am going to approach this from a different angle...My weight was never an issue for my husband. He was concerned about my health, but never ever said anything about my weight. He truly loved me when I was at my lowest (the day we met) and loved me at my heaviest (the day I decided to have surgery).

Good point.. My husband loved me being large, and wasn't really on board with surgery, but supported my choice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

>

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

I never said i didn't call him that- and you'll see that I agreed with awjones when she characterized him the same. But I said *something* about VSGAnn's comment rubbed me the wrong way. Something-- some random unknown and possibly baseless reason... not solidified in fact or truth in any way, shape, or form. Maybe she's coming from the same exact mind set I was able to connect with awjones on-- but it just didn't come off that way to me. That's all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

>

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

I never said i didn't call him that- and you'll see that I agreed with awjones when she characterized him the same. But I said *something* about VSGAnn's comment rubbed me the wrong way. Something-- some random unknown and possibly baseless reason... not solidified in fact or truth in any way, shape, or form. Maybe she's coming from the same exact mind set I was able to connect with awjones on-- but it just didn't come off that way to me. That's all.

One said jackass, the other a*****e lol. Just because your husband is lacking in one arena that you find important doesn't diminish all the other ways he shows your love. That is the problem with venting online to strangers that know nothing about you and your complete story of life. They only hear a portion of what is going on. No one and no relationship is without fault.

Did he compliment you pre-surgery on a new outfit or hairdo or new job?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Listen this is not a marriage counseling site.You are on your own weight loss journey and that what we are here to support you on...all this other nonsense about the fact that your husband doesn't compliment you is a waste of time.I am right there with VSGAnn....don't care about the woes and approval of your significant other compared to his comments about your son.No one can walk in your shoes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a rant and rave section! So are there specific rants and raves that are allowed? She felt the need to rant. So she did.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Next!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a rant and rave section! So are there specific rants and raves that are allowed? She felt the need to rant. So she did.

Or the other obvious-- unsubscribe to the thread if they feel it doesn't meet with the spirit of the site...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are some nasty people on this site. The very reason people cycle through so quickly. I asked a question, no need to get huffy and puffy. I swear I think so many on here must be miserable in their day to day lives because it shines through clearly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×