Eating out - I just need to vent.

[jhclikesshopping@gmail.com 285]

So first of all - let me apologize. I normally do not complain - like never. But I am so mad right now that I need to do something or I am going to write an Open Table/ Yelp review from hell and the company does not need this.

So I live in the SF Bay area. I am 3 months post op. My job makes me travel 25% of the month. Therefore, I eat out often. I have gotten really good as asking for exactly what I want - and people are usually wonderful. Today, we go out to lunch for a team member leaving for another job so we went to a goodbye lunch. I checked out the menu ahead of time and decided on an item on the kids menu ( or a modified entry in case I could not eat on the kids menu). So we get there and I ask for an item on the kids menu that is not on the main menu. I am told no - fine (even though I showed my card). I get it - it's annoying, but I get it. Then the manager comes over and says sorry - we do not allow adults on the kid's menu. Ok fine - did not need the attention. So then, I order the closest item to the kids item on the menu but its chicken and ribs platter. So I ask for just the chicken and a replacement for the potatoes (instead of just chicken/mash potatoes on the kids menu). I am told no substitutions. I said - what? That is never the case. What about food allergies - she said we have a food allergy menu for those people; she says, "we do not customize our entrees". Have you ever heard of something so crazy.....

So basically I now have a to go box of ribs, mash potatoes and butter covered veggies that I will never eat.

On my way out I decide to pull the manager aside. I told her I have never been so disappointed in my life - I can understand that not eating the kids menu but really, now I have wasted so much food and there was no need. I would have paid the regular price - in fact, I would of paid more for something I really wanted.

Thanks for letting me bitch. I will continue to ask for what I want and remind people I do not need the food on the kids menu because I am cheap - I want it for Portion Control.

[CloserToFine 172]

UGH ... I'm so sorry ... that's annoying in the extreme!

Today I'm 2 weeks out -- and just stepping into the puree/blended phase. I was in three grocery stores today and felt overwhelmed by all the things I couldn't eat/buy.

It's hard to live in a "food normative" world. Those of us who are different for whatever reason (WLS, gluten free, vegan) are made to feel like outcasts. Thank goodness we can come to a safe space online and vent.

By the way: what did the manager say when you mentioned that you've never been so disappointed? Just curious. I wish you'd gotten some satisfaction from her...

[laguerr13 993]

Sounds like the establishment that was chosen was not a very friendly one anyway, and it could have happened to a normal patron just along for something different, I would write a review on YELP and let people know, I haven't eaten out yet but is always looking on the Internet for gastric friendly eateries, and there are many, your input is good for people like me, it would help me not go through that situation and avoid places like that, I can barely finish 5oz of food at the moment so I would have been furious not being allowed to order from a child's plate, you did nothing wrong and as a customer based business you would figure they want to go out of their way to accommodate you, I would have looked at it as if I may have to accommodate this patron with a kids portion, but if she tells her friends it means more people will know and that's a win for both the eatery and the patron

[LivingFree! 478]

Sorry you had to experience this--and--I'm glad you came here to vent! I think many have had similar experiences. I guess I'm lucky that I have not. But I really think the good news is that MANY MORE restaurants are definitely paying much more attention in the long run to patrons' requests for healthier options, both in food choices AND in methods of preparation. They definitely need to hear loud and clear from people like you through avenues like YELP that your experience is NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE to the general public.

Maybe if it does ever happen again, you could just stay firm with what it is that YOU NEED and asked for in the first place. If the server will not accommodate you and gives you those lame excuses (no eating off kids menu; no subs, etc) you simply don't keep "bargaining" for other options that would be "ok" with them, and politely excuse yourself from the table and let the server know that because of your special MEDICAL dietary needs, you will have to resolve this with the manager. I've learned that in so many instances, once you start throwing around the word "medical," people can't argue with that.

Sometimes I don't even mention WLS. I just mention I am on a very medically-restricted diet. We all still have to keep fighting the war against obesity-related discrimination, but sometimes we just have to choose our battles for our own sanity.

Try not to let 'em get you down. And know, too, that the restaurant dining thing DOES get easier the further out you get. Since about one year out for me, people I dined out with who didn't know me, just always thought I was just a real health nut--they never knew I was a WLS patient. I never concentrated on what I "couldn't" have; just what I could. I always can make up a fun meal at any restaurant.

And, of course you've probably thought about this--even though you do a lot of traveling, maybe you can find some creative new ways to do at least part of your travel meals shopping at a local grocery store and keep fresh food in an insulated bag(?). I know that can be inconvenient, but there may be some times it could work out with your schedule?

Stay strong--YOU'RE the boss!

[BizzyB 119]

How frustrating! I know I am going to be a bit uncomfortable going out to eat and an establishment like just makes thing all the worse. So sorry you had such a terrible experience!

[maxcimax 220]

I eat out frequently (mostly breakfast) & have had only one restaurant that wouldn't let me order off the kid's menu. I have struck that restaurant from the places I go. I live in Dallas & most wait staff have heard of WLS & are curious how I am doing. I also eat at the same restaurants & I have gotten to know the wait staff so I don't have to explain myself. People have been really good about suggesting foods and/or making substitutions for me.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Sorry you had a bad experience. Unfortunately there are a lot of restaurants that do not allow adults to eat from the children's menu. You need to read the fine print on that usually on the company's website. When in doubt, I typically go for a meal of sides or appetizers instead.

[ready2droppounds 40]

Omg! I am sorry for you experience I live in the SF bay area also, and since I am pre- op I ask for kid portions at most places and do not have an issue. I wonder what establishment it is so I will know for the future. I would call corporate and just inform them everyone cannot eat large portions.

[IcanMakeit 1,319]

I have always been very specific about what I want in restaurants, long before my WLS. I have been very lucky and have found most places are very willing to accommodate me, but some of them charge extra for the substitutions. I really appreciate the ones that accommodate me without an extra charge.

I also live in the SF Bay Area and I am very curious about which restaurant treated you so badly. How can they stay in business with that unfriendly attitude? I can understand them not allowing you to order from the child's menu, it would hurt their profitability if they allowed adults to order reduced priced meals, but a blanket "no substitutions" policy is ridiculous.

[Flygirl123 150]

You should still write the reviews.

[slvarltx 332]

Don't go to Europe! There are virtually no substitutions of any kind and the wait staff really don't care as tips are minimal part of their compensation. I have learned to be ok just wasting the food. I usually just order whatever chicken or fish I want (beef just doesn't sound appealing to me post WLS) cut it in half, and eat as much as my pouch comfortably likes (which is usually about 2/3 of that).

[Debbie Jean 406]

Definitely leave a review on YELP. In this day and age, many people need to make changes in items as listed on the menu. I'd want to know how inflexible this restaurant is.

BTW, I simply mention I had stomach surgery when I eat out. They certainly don't need to know anything about WLS. The card is meaningless anyway since you can print one off the Web.

Can't say I order from the children's menu though. appetizers, salads or side dishes usually are more suitable to my needs.

Post that review! People need to know!

Edited July 3, 2015 by Debbie Jean

[jhclikesshopping@gmail.com 285]

you all are WONDERFUL!!! Thanks.

@ready2droppound - the place is called Town (in San Carlos). Here is the kicker - their sister restaurant Nola in Palo Alto I go to all the time and they great. Such a weird experience for me.

Oh well - off to the next adventure