Afraid of being treated differently

Tinkerbell77 · June 26, 2007

So I have been heavy most of my life so this is a big change for me. My surgery is scheduled for July 11 and my pre op appointment is for the 27. I have already started cutting back on carbs and fats and lost 10 pounds. I am 29 and happily married to a wonderful man who accepts me the way I am. My fears and frustrations however, are with other people. It concerns me that as I lose the weight people will start treating me differently. People who may not have taken the time to get to know me will. Someone who would associate with me because I was heavy, may now want to be a friend. Being treated with more respect by strangers when out in public where ever it may be. It bothers me and scares me that I will no longer know if someone is my friend because of who I am or now becuase I look better. Does anyone elses have these fears or concerns?

edieparks · June 26, 2007

Yes I understand. I had anger about this at first.

I had to step back and take everyone for face value.

I do get treated differently now by strangers. I just try to be gracious and say thank you.

I am not a non person now. I felt invisible sometimes before. I don't know how many clerks I would have to remind "I was next" when they would skip over me to a normal size person.

EVERYTHING HAS A GOOD AND BAD SIDE.

Edie

TulipStar · June 26, 2007

Hi,

I once lost over 100 lbs and I was amazed at how differently people treated me differently. Just the way that people started to look me in the eye, hold doors for me etc. was amazing, and sad.

I am a good judge of people and had the same friends that I did before.

The thing that I really noticed was that my career took off after I lost the weight-- people took my work more seriously. That was the most positive part.

You will still be you on the inside and what's on the inside is what counts. Good people are attracted to good people...

FELICIA17 · June 26, 2007

Hi Tinkerbell... You and I are being banded on the same day,,yaaay:)... anyhow... I know how you feel, but I really don't worry about it much, people will be people and we can't change that. Once you lose the weight and people that you know, who have never given you the time of day are all of a sudden being chummy, chummy you know that they are not being sincere in there friendship, you don't have to be rude, but keep you distance. As far as strangers go, and all the xtra attention from men, etc, Just sit back and enjoy it I say, you'll have worked hard for those wolf whistles:D

dover · June 26, 2007

I am being banded on the same day. Good Luck. People will treat you differently as you loose the weight, you are no longer inviible.People will be curious as to how you are losing the weight. I say hold you head up proud , smile and tell them what ever you are comfortable telling them. I think it is inpoetant to note that you will also be changing as the weight comes off so maybe you need to be open to making new firends and giving people the change to know you.

areellady · June 26, 2007

Yes, it is a very sad fact that SOME people will not associate with fat people. I guess maybe the lesson to be learned here after you have lost all of our weight and have a new attitude is NOT change our attitude toward fat people. I know that I myself am always judging other fat people and comparing them to myself. I know it is not right and I hate myself for doing it but it is done in my mind not outloud. I always feel better when I can see someone who is bigger than me then I feel kinda like "at least I am not the biggest one here" attitude. I know its bad and rude, but I just hope that as I shed weight that I can truly not do that anymore because there will be a whole lot of people bigger than me when I get to my goal weight. I hope I haven't offended anyone...Deanna