Apologies. Not returning. Mea Culpa. Breast beaten.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

@ I apologise for trying to a) say I understood and trying to say there might be a solution.

On a side note, I love how your point B ) came out as

I totally saw that as BJ.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

I feel like I should get a gold star just for staying out of the "mud flaps" thread. Just sayin'.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Wait WHAT!?!?! Mud flaps!?!?!?

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Yeah, it's in the guys room. Mud flaps.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

On another forum I used to hang out on, the peeps were discussing the way girls' genitals look. One particularly charming guy used the phrase "floppy meat flaps". I almost thought it was the same guy for a minute, then realized he said "mud flaps".

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

I'm only new so I've not said anything...

But that 'mud flap' thread both amuses and concerns me...

Please don't judge all men on that one question...

Especially me!!! ????

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Yeah, it's in the guys room. Mud flaps.

(We aren't allowed in there.)

I'll be right back.

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

It IS so easy to get caught in the "wrong" forum, I've entered the Guy's room a few times unknowingly, until AFTER I responded. There's been a few times I've caught fellas in the ladies' powder room, and called them on it - hopefully in a nice way - I think maybe a re-structuring of the site might be called for. Just an idea....

[KateP 359]

@@KindaFamiliar popcorn seemed appropriate

[Countrygrrl 450]

????I'm so glad someone brought up the mud flap post. I was having a hard time not posting on that. ????

[katesuccess 990]

Wow, me too. The term really bugs me--I read the OP when it was on new threads list and then tried to tell myself not to be offended by it, since it wasn't meant to be read by me...still...????

Does anyone else wonder what the masculine gender version of those (literal!) mud flaps would depict? (You know, those ones that are actually on trucks with the side silhouette of what can only be an enhanced Barbie doll with...ahem...perky parts). If so, post in ladies room maybe...

[KateP 359]

@@katesuccess for some reason, I don't find this offensive. Whereas I would the Barbie thing you describe (which we don't have in the UK).

See, when women talk about men, they often do so in ways which might offend men but somehow that's ok! Fair's fair, mud flaps made me laugh not feel shock and horror! And the poster made it really clear that it wasn't HIS concern but concern about how his partner might feel.

I think maybe men need a separate forum which really IS just men. Apart from anything else, there is truth in the old stereotype that some men find it hard to ask health etc questions on an open board.

[B-52 7,113]

There is definitely a different approach to WLS between men and women, and this entire website is all about women....

When I was an undergrad, I worked different jobs in hospitals....surrounded by women...

One time, the dept director who i worked for, called me in her office and sat me down....she explained to me that I was the only male working in and for a dept of over 35 women....now there is 30 days in a month....so, on any given day......

She told me everyone likes me, so please don't take it personally...

I do public speaking, inservices, etc, (including WLS Support meetings) and at times find the entire group comprised of women....I have to change my entire approach in what I am presenting, and sometimes leave information out....some things better not said......they simply would not understand my intent.

This website, there is no hiding from different gender groups,,,everything said can be read and responded to by anyone...

hence, the "Men's" group, and the "Women's" groups.

I have found myself in situations, when working with women, the conversation would take a turn in a direction where it would simply be best for me to leave the room....

I think the same is true here when someone gets offended by certain terms mentioned by certain groups....better off leaving the room....

What I am saying, is there is a big difference....in attitudes, beliefs, approaches, etc...to weight loss. I see it all the time. I have to shake my head at some of things people say, and I'm sure they shake their heads at what I say.....

I have found the best way to survive on this website for so long, is to only speak about things I have first hand experience in....if I don't then I keep my mouth shut...which means right away I do not comment on women's bra sizes, TOM, pregnancy, etc, etc....yet there are people who have to stick their nose in everything.

But this is a website dominated by women so sometimes that is all there is....women's perspectives.

I will say, over the years I have run across some women that are just down right "Cool" and definitely have it together....love reading their posts.....then, there are some others I would hate to get stranded in a elevator with with...this is a example I would not expect women to understand (except the few who are "Hip") but the "Mother-in-Law" jokes just popped into my head.

So, as a man I have survived here over the years......BUT, I have to say, in recent months, there has been a definite shift and noticed this forum has been going downhill....getting hard to handle everyday, and there are posts that are hard to ignore....even when the posts are strictly about weight loss.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I love how women are continuously grouped here as if we all think the same, feel the same, react the same. What a hoot! I wonder where the heck that leaves me!

I work in the beauty industry and it's fact that I hate "women" or at least the stereotype that women seem to be put under. I truly think I was born a "man" mentally. I suck at taking hints, I rarely think about FEEEEEELINGS, not because I don't care or I want to hurt someone's feelz, but simply because the thought never occurs to me. I don't remember birthdays or anniversaries, I am not very sentimental, and people who are dramatic, sensitive, or overly emotional make me cuh-RAY-zee.

I am sarcastic, quick witted, and one of those "what you see is what" you get types. Yes, I am the same in person as I am on the internet and you will often here me say, "Do you want me to be nice or do you want me to be honest?" when asked a question.

As for the "mud flaps" thread? I think the OP was sincerely worried about his girlfriend's feelings. It seemed that as long as his "golf balls" are being handled, he's happy.

[Nikasio 59]

As Alan King once joked, for the eighteen years he lived with his parents, he thought his dad was a mute.

As for definitions of various mud flaps, try urban dictionary.

The expression gets worse as it seems to have been broken down by nationality and ethnicity.

The first time I heard it it was two women describing another woman's looks.

Don't remember seeing this expression in my Sisters' copies of 'Our Bodies, Our Selves.'

Edited May 21, 2015 by Nikasio