Is it CHEATING or is it a CHOICE?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You might want to dim your monitor and turn down your speakers because if one more person says those magic words...

[LipstickLady 25,682]

As I thought this through, I came to the conclusion that whether we call it, cheating or choosing, simply doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I've got to disagree. And I can only speak for myself. It's all about accountability, it's all about ownership, it's all about acknowledging that I am creating my own destiny, whether it be to lose weight, gain or maintain.

I have no doubt it's semantics for some, but for me, it's empowerment.

[Mommabird 367]

I'm not quite six months out from my RNY and I'm still not cleared for beef, pork or starchy carbs. That being said, when my son got married at the end of April, I made the CHOICE to have a few bites of the wedding cake. Some friends asked me later if I felt guilty about "cheating". I told them that I didn't cheat, that I had made the decision to take part in a wonderful occasion to the fullest I was able. It was a happy decision on my part as my son and his wife made a point to choose a restaurant for the reception that I could easily find food that was on my current dietary plan. It tickled them to no end that I celebrated with them completely! And if asked by my NP at my appointment in June if I have been compliant with my food plan, I will tell her all about the cake and I can guarantee that she'll tell me I did the right thing.

[Dr-Patient 831]

When in the pre-WLS world, most of us likely used the word "cheated" a lot if we ate something we shouldn't have.

Now, if I eat something that's not Protein, or not on the strict WLS regimen, I don't feel that I "cheat," but it is a choice to have this or that, especially since I can't have that much of it. But, yes, too many of those "choices" will jack me up (and they sometimes have...since I've been fighting carbs after I chose to eat them in the last 3 months. Groan. But doing better with Protein this week.)

Just sharing [totally off topic]: Your post immediately made me think about a recent article in an Atlanta, GA newspaper; it began with "Choices." It was about the teachers who chose to change students' test scores. The judge gave the "cheating" educators many chances to own their deeds and choose to plead, and some didn't. As a result of their 'choices,' some now have serious consequences. The article is here, I don't know if it will open for you: http://shar.es/1p3oxp But, minimally, it began with:

"Choices. We make them everyday; from the mundane to the life-changing. We can choose to do good, or evil. Right, or wrong. We choose to tell truths. Or lies. We choose to admit wrongdoing; or deny our misdeeds — even to ourselves."

Edited May 13, 2015 by Dr-Patient

[hillgirly 228]

Great topic & love this line!!

if you truly need to know if it's okay to eat the triple bypass bacon jalapeño and nacho cheese burger in between two donuts and wash it down with a soda 2 days after surgery the gracious folks here will help you!

Yes they will...and probably not in a very kumbaya-ish way

[roundisashape 712]

I've never cheated, not once. Oh, that doesn't mean I eat perfectly! I just feel like there's some room for flexibility in our plans as long as we're getting what we need and staying within the range that we're succeeding at. Since my plan is one I can live with, I don't HAVE to cheat

[Weighting2BeFree 164]

The ability to make choices - even not so good ones - is one of the reasons I love my sleeve. Before vgs, if i tastes anything carby, i would lose control and eat a ton of it. Now that my taste buds are changing, first off i find i dont want those things as much, and if i do indulge in them, its very little and my craving is satisfied and i can stop. Do i eat perfect? No. Should i work out more? Yes! But now i feel in control instead of like a runaway train. Thats why i love this. My advice? Own it, good or bad. Use the tool you've been given.

[jess9395 5,450]

Cheating is defined as:

Merriam-Webster › dictionary › cheat

Mobile-friendly - to break a rule or law usually to gain an advantage at something. : to take something from (someone) by lying or ...

So totally not applicable in our cases here, what advantage is chained by these "cheats." It also sets up someone else as "in charge" because someone sets up rules which we then follow obediently or rebel against. Takes away our power.

Not a cheat a choice.

I make choices every day. I honestly don't even think my choices are good or bad many times. They either lead me to a goal or don't.

[ProjectMe 909]

@@LipstickLady

Are we held more accountable if we call it "cheating" vs. held more accountable if it's called a "choice"? I would argue that both descriptions equal "eating off plan". The stagnate scale, resulting weight gain, or if I'm lucky...no weight change, doesn't change the fact that I've detoured, however temporarily, off plan. For me, simply eating off plan results in my being held accountable...sooner or later the scale, my emotions, and my health will hold me accountable regardless of what term we use to describe it.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@LipstickLady

Are we held more accountable if we call it "cheating" vs. held more accountable if it's called a "choice"?

I can't speak for WE which is why I only ever speak for ME.

For me? I started holding myself more accountable when I figured out that every bite of good/bad/indifferent is a conscious choice. I felt guilty about cheating and I would often try to justify it with the idea that I did so because bad day/celebration/bored/lonely/birthday/PMS/etc. I feel ACCOUNTABLE for choices so I more often choose NOT to.

What you do, is yours.

[imsoglad56 402]

@@LipstickLady, you might want to have a cigarette handy because I think you're about to have a special moment, lol.

When I started reading this thread, I was in the camp of "cheating or choice, it's the same thing. Why does it matter why you call it?" But after reading your posts, I have to say that you're right. There is a difference in the way I feel if I think I cheated versus I made a bad choice. I never realized it before, but you really made me think about it. Thank you for the insight.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@LipstickLady, you might want to have a cigarette handy because I think you're about to have a special moment, lol...But after reading your posts, I have to say that you're right.

I need a shower now. Thank you...

[jess9395 5,450]

For me "cheating" diffuses the personal responsibility bc I associate it with rebelling against "the man" who made the rules ya know? And if I don't get in trouble (ie gain weight, cause myself pain, etc) then I got away with it and the rules ceases to be "right" and I can continue to ignore it.

If I make a choice to eat something I don't normally eat then it doesn't challenge or change the plan in the same way, it just superceeds it temporarily

[chunkyloverlovesyou 197]

Honestly, I think some people like a good kick in the balls, it's motivation!

[ShellMilliner 233]

@chunkylover I need a good swift kick in the butt occasionally to straighten me out and give me a reality check. Luckily, there are plenty of people on here that will do just that! That is why I love it here!