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Losing the Dream (Mcdreamy that is) haunting parallels to my life



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My name is Ashley. I watched last night's Grey's Anatomy and had a haunting flashback to my own life: When I was a newlywed my husband had gotten into a serious car accident with a semi truck on the highway. I had to go to the hospital to see my semi comatose husband who had just barely survived. I had received a police escort to said hospital and had to deal with millions of thoughts going through my head. I did not know what to expect when I had gotten there. I replayed every moment we were together thinking that it was the last one I would ever have with him. I bawled pretty hard that night, just needed to let some fear and other emotions out before my surgery. The image is the aftermath of Jacob's Accident.

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That was a terrible accident. How is your husband today? Did he recover completely?

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He was injured a year ago in Iraq from another rollover accident prior to this one. He has some nerve damage and shrank 2 inches of his 6'7 frame due to back compression of his vertebra. He has since retired medically from the Army and receives full veteran benefits. He is now finishing his degree in Emergency Medicine. On his really bad pain days, he walks with a cane and limps a little bit. He is quite my inspiration to lose the weight (100+) pounds gained within 3 years after marriage. I want to be able to push him to be able to work out and get healthier too. He is unable to do traditional army fitness exercises or run anymore due to his injuries. I want both of us to get healthier before we start our family. PCOS is no fun at all!!! This is our engagement picture, before weight gain and accident in 2010.

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Not one but 2 accidents! He is lucky to be alive. I wish you both the best of luck in the future. I will pray for the two of you.

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my prayers to you and your family i hope you lose all the weight and then some i also have pcos and know how terrible it is and want to start a family of my own one day

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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