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Ugh need to vent about a Husband that doesn't understand!



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I think he's afraid you will become a hot chick, lusted after by a host of men, one of whom may capture your heart and steal you away, Men are very jealous creatures, after all.

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My husband was very supportive of me having the surgery, and "all that went with it". He started to eat healthier, he opted to join the health club with me, has bragged about my weight loss thus far and took me shopping. However, when the real work begins is when he starts getting all attitude! He wants to go visit friends and I need to get the small amount of food in that I can have and I can't rush it, yet here he is like an impatient child waiting for me to finish eating. I get nauseous and sick on a day we have plans and next thing you know he is arguing with me about it! I am trying to re-assure him that once I get to about 2 months post op I should have a pretty good handle on my diet and food intake and schedule but until then things can just be up in the air from time to time, which he "says" he understands till the day comes when it actually happens and then I feel like I'm dealing with my sons toddler years all over again!!! SMH!!! OK sorry, rant over but just needed to vent.

Edited by Loss78

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Butterfly,

Do you think he is maybe concerned about how you will feel about him once you are all thinned down and healthy? He wouldn't be the first husband to feel threatened in that way! Just a thought...

I think maybe that's part of it..but maybe not...

I am sure He definitely won't mind when I lose weight & become the hot wife! Lol

I think he's more worried that the struggle will continue when I have the surgery and have to adapt to my new diet/lifestyle, because I have already been on many different diets and he's dealt with the aftermath everytime I fail and beat myself up for it & how cranky I get when I limit my calories/carbs drastically.

He's trying to be supportive, but he just doesn't understand, has never had a weight problem and thinks it should be easy to just eat less to lose weight

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@@Butterfly512 OMG are we living the same life? Seriously this is getting creepy. :wacko: Different hubbys, same mentality.

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My husband was very supportive of me having the surgery, and "all that went with it". He started to eat healthier, he opted to join the health club with me, has bragged about my weight loss thus far and took me shopping. However, when the real work begins is when he starts getting all attitude! He wants to go visit friends and I need to get the small amount of food in that I can have and I can't rush it, yet here he is like an impatient child waiting for me to finish eating. I get nauseous and sick on a day we have plans and next thing you know he is arguing with me about it! I am trying to re-assure him that once I get to about 2 months post op I should have a pretty good handle on my diet and food intake and schedule but until then things can just be up in the air from time to time, which he "says" he understands till the day comes when it actually happens and then I feel like I'm dealing with my sons toddler years all over again!!! SMH!!! OK sorry, rant over but just needed to vent.

My husband was like that at first, however that nauseous and sick feelings hang around long after 2 months. I've had my lap band for 7 years now I still throw up and I still have that sick feeling days. As for hubby he just deals with it and now really doesn't complain now.

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when i had the first operation on my ear this summer the hubby was supper involved and supportive helped me in and out of bed bought me a cane to walk with because i was too unsteady to walk on my own bought me food even after i had thrown up my food all day for days at a time. so i am blessed he doesn't know how long ill need him after the sleeve surgery but i know for sure he will be there patient as always

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My husband was on board from the 1st doc apt ... he's been my shoulder, my cheerleader, my rock and my sounding board .... I couldn't have done this without him ... nor would I want to ...

However ... we work together ... at a trucking company ... so I'm around men all day long ... a lot of them are on the road for weeks at a time ... so they're always wanting to talk ... my hubby isn't a jealous person .. he knows where my heart lies ...

but since loosing some weight .. he's overheard the drivers on occasion commenting about how good I'm looking and on and on ... that makes him smile inside ... but he also watches them! LOL

I agree with a lot of the posters ahead of me ... surgery is scary ... and this surgery is a LIFE CHANGER ... there is a lot of understand ... a lot of changes to be made across the board ... it's not just your life your changing .... it's his too ... and kids if you have them ...

He may just need a little more education ... and a little more assurance that you'll still be you ... just less of you ... which is a good thing for EVERYONE ... you get to live longer and healthier ... and he gets to enjoy more time with you :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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