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I am a success...that has failed to continue



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@@Roo101769 I just want to say thank you for writing this post and being sooo honest and open about your struggle. I'm still pre op and have been looking for ppl that could share the "real" deal about surgery.

I was trying to decide which surgery to get and the biggest fear I had about vsg was what you are describing in your post. I have decided to go with bypass because like you, I know having no consequences after a while may leave me stuck. Just know you are not alone in your struggle. I'm sure there are a lot, who's had either surgery, in the same predicament as you. It's probably a little hard right now but I'm sure you'll get over the hump and kick it in gear soon...you've come so far, let that and your baby girl be the motivation to keep going...good luck!

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I ordered this book and can't wait to read. I am willing to try anything, be open minded. If I can gain some insight to my issues with food, and ways to help over come them, then by all means I will give it a shot. The struggle with food doesn't end just because you have surgery. ( at least not for me) It is a life long battle I believe. I have had a LOT of stress and emotional turmoil of late that I think I have been trying to eat my way through...I know it is not healthy. So I hope I might find some nugget of wisdom in this book that I can take away and help work on me with.

There's a very good book I'm reading (I'm 2 weeks pre-op) called "It Aint Over 'til the Thin Lady Sings" by Michelle Ritchie, who is a certified substance abuse counselor and who had WLS surgery and really understands the ins and outs of compulsive eating.

I struggle with it myself. I use food to decompress, and to "anchor" myself upon arrival, i.e., when I arrive at a friend's house, or at work, or home after work. Eating for me has historically had NOTHING to do with hunger.

This book makes you do some serious soul-searching.

You know what they say, it's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you...

Anyway, I like the book, and it's important to do some serious exploration of why we overeat. Restriction is just a tool. I get so sick of hearing that and reading it, but it's true. You can build a house with a hammer, but you gotta swing it, baby!

I feel pretty sure you'll get back on track. Just don't chew your paw off, the stress will only make it worse.

Edited by Roo101769

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Consider this:

1. Write down all the barriers that are causing you to gain weight / not lose weight.

2. Categorize them as: (1) things I can change or (2) things I cannot change.

3. Change all the things you can change.

4. Change all the things you said you cannot change. Turns out you CAN change them, but it'll just make you very uncomfortable to do so. You just haven't changed them yet.

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Here is what is currently on the table... A bag of Fritos, a bag of Herr's creamy dill potato chips, a bag of Cheetos, a bag of Combos, a box of Cheese-its, a container of pretzels, jelly Beans, caramel bulls eyes and cow tails, Keebler soft batch chocolate chip Cookies and Keebler fudge sticks, and a jar of peanuts. This is the end of the week, supplies are low. On Monday there will be about three times this amount of junk food. Every other Wednesday he brings in donuts. Yes, I do try to bring my own Snacks. My biggest problem is definitely self control.

It seems you know this table, intimately. That sounds like junk food junkie paradise. Why not put together your own snack table? Beef Jerky, nuts, yogurt, Protein drinks, high Protein Cereal mix, cheese, fruit, veggies, etc., etc. All pre measured in snack bags maybe? Grab one when those "bad" Snacks are callin' your name. We are surrounded by food whether it sits on a table a few feet away or next to us in the gas station or grocery store, or drug store, or just about any place we go. It is up to us, surgery will help, but the rest is up to us, if we need more help we are supposed to know how to access that help through our surgical teams and support system which includes Bariatric pal. Don't give up, if you made it this far you know you can finish the journey. Good luck!

Edited by vincereautmori

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There is no magic but you should know we all fight this every day. You aren't alone.

I truly believe that a big component of food addiction us the physical response to eating crap and being fat. What I mean by that is when you eat clean, your cravings drop.

Also if you have hungry since nearly the beginning you might have excess acid. Try taking a PPI.

I was an "all or nothing " thinker too. I see you deciding you can't exercise because the gym is impractical. Did you know you can get an excellent workout at home. I leveraged a spinning bike and workout DVDs.

It's very hard but you can do this. :)

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We can all relate to this even though we may not be in that stage. We all know the surgery is a tool and one day we will back on our own.

I am just beginning how to count Protein and carbs and keep a balance and I know its easy for me right now bc my stomach does stop me from overeating.

Maybe try to remember how good you felt eating good, healthy foods. That a moment of eating bad foods really isn't worth what it does to you. Exercise will occupy time and make you feel stronger, but we know that weight loss comes from the food we eat. You will never burn enough calories to lose weight. Let friends and family and activity fill your heart and your cravings and make the choice to feel better!

I know whats helped me the most is having my meals planned for work and dinners. That way there are no "choices", just a plan every week waiting to be executed.

You've come so far. Bad food isn't worth it.

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Your tool is still there. I was told if I get in a rut to start from the beginning. Start over with a week of phase 1. And go from there. You can do this! Therapy would help gets to the ultimate cause of this.

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You're intelligent, self-aware and you've done this before. You can do it again and be successful.

I agree with the person who suggested going back to a week one diet. I'd suggest the pre-op diet.

You need to eliminate carbs. Treat them like alcohol and you're an alcoholic. There's no such thing as "I'll just have one drink/chip/lb of pasta" for people like us.

You made a powerful decision before and changed your life. You are STRONG.

Every time you fall down, just get back up again. It's never the end. Nothing you've done is irreversible.

You won't be perfect, but you can be *better. *

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Hey Roo...I just came back to the forum after being MIA I returned 50lbs up AND know the struggle. I decided to go back to the week after my surgery...all liquids????. First day golden...today...WOW! Been a hard day and I ate...now here is my kicker...I tracked everything and on a whole didn't do bad with my intake. So what's my point? Don't beat yourself up and get lost with the crazy cycle we all get...look at what you did RIGHT for the day...track your food and try to get creative. Tell yourself that every time you acknowledge (not look) that table (the little voice in your head that starts the trouble) you have to get up and walk away. I'm the same...LOL. The carbs are just brutal AND if you can get paste that first week it gets easier????????????????????????

Some one here said it...it's an addiction and you have been successful...you know how to do this to get back on track so do it sweet friend and don't beat yourself up. There is another great book called Untethering the Soul...it's about the self talk we do and how to let it pass;-)

So, I did not fail today...I had a good day because I did something different that was still healthy.post-65321-143079178099_thumb.jpg

You've got this Roo!!!!

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Hang in there. It isn't over yet.

It takes a lot of discipline to stay on track. There aren't really any tricks to it. It's a matter of controlling what you eat.

I am a gay male and I can't stay at the gym 2.5 hours. your friend has gotta be hot if hes spending that much time there lol.

I get up at 4am every morning and go to the gym for 1 hour and 15 minutes, 7 days a week and never miss a day.

A therapist? What is a therapist going to do for you? May I suggest instead a work out buddy who pushes you and drags you to the gym and helps keep you on schedule?

My hubby and I started going to the gym in January of this year. In fact, everyone was going. Out of all of them, I'm the only one still going. I try each morning to get him out of bed and drag him with me, but he just sleeps. He is a tooth pick and he doesn't really need to go. I've also tried to guilt him, tell him I'm getting fat again because of him, asked nicely, I've tried everything. The gym is more enjoyable when I have someone to go with. So for now, its just me, spotify and my bottle of sobe every morning. I've come to know the morning employees really well and even text with them and hang out with them sometimes.

Another suggestion, instead of a therapist, why not go see a doctor and ask them about a weight loss prescription pill? I know there is one that has topamax in it and trust me, just topamax by itself will help you lose 20 lbs without trying. Just an idea to help you get back on track.

Remember you can't give up once you reach your goal weight, you have to stay on track and keep on going.

I have a weaknes for white reese cups that are frozen. I can finish and entire bag in one sitting. Since I started working out more, I find I'm more hungry and do everything I can to fight the hunger.

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I'm a food junkie too and only just under 5 weeks post op. What you're saying is what we've all feared. It could happen to any of us because we are all here for the same reason, we use food for things other than hunger. I will say that I read a lot of books and done a lot of work with the psych I saw to try to wise up on my food addiction. I learned that for me, I use food to distract myself and release dopamine when I'm down on myself, or bored, or a myriad of other things. It's my drug of choice to make me feel okay right then. Actually, really good right then, and that's a hard thing to combat. I've read some good books and recommend you read some books on food addiction too. You can also start going to over eaters anonymous (I think it's free). I think you're making the right choice about not taking your daughter from one daycare to another and good on you for that. But maybe you could take walks with her after dinner. Anyway, my main point is that until you get to the bottom of your food addiction, you're going to have this problem (perhaps in varying degrees). I'm not saying this with judgment or a holier than thou attitude, I'm saying this as someone who understands. Good luck to you. You're not crazy, lazy or alone, you're just fighting a difficult battle.

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If you cannot afford an in person therapist, there are several websites that offer therapy by licensed therapists for a VERY reasonable rate. Something to consider if cost is an issue that is preventing you from seeking help.

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I'm a big believer in hiding temptation.

Get a folding picture frame, put photos of your family in it, and place that sucker on your desk in your sight-line to that table! Another thing I do... Our TV has a Guide button, that reduces the size of the picture and has the hourly listings for the channel. I turn the Guide on and the sound off when food commercials come on. If the image is not in your face, neither will the food be!

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First, I empathize with you and am struggling with some of the same issues. I am 95 pounds down and have twenty to go to my goal and am stuck. Sounds like you know what to do, but just need to convince yourself to do it. Fighting yourself is a harder battle than cutting calories or carbs. I know. Good luck, you can do it.

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The problems that you are having now are part of the reason I am reconsidering having WLS.

I was supposed to have already had the surgery but I suddenly started having gallstone problems, and my Bariatric surgeon decided to remove my gallbladder first. The surgery was a lot more painful than I expected (I found it worse than past surgery- 2 caesareans and surgery to remove a nerve tumour) and I had some complications which have affected my healing. I'm scared to go through it again.

But my greater concern is that my eating patterns will not change enough in the long term to sustain and maintain weight loss. I have had a truly terrible relationship with food my whole life, veering between obese and underweight (I was 45kg at my lightest, over 110kg at my heaviest). In the past my greatest loss at any one time was about 50kg. Since I had my kids though I have not had the energy to give to my health and trying to get back to a healthy weight.

Things started to go wrong with me and food at ten, when I was sexually abused by a family member while my grandma, who was my primary caregiver was in hospital for two months being treated for cancer. Food became my coping strategy for everything. Even when I was skinny food was always in my mind. Even when I am hating food or denying myself food I think about food all the time. I hate the way I think about food, but even when I'm being "good " for extended periods of time, even years at a time, I know that deep down my attitude to food is seriously screwed up. I don't know if I can really change enough to make this work.

My prime motivation is to improve my Diabetes and cut down on my meds so I will be around to look after my family (i have 3 kids in primary school) . I am afraid if I can't succeed at this I won't be around while they grow up.

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