Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I'd love to start this thread going. I attend OA meetings and the support, honesty, and peace I find is critical for me. I am parenting myself, putting my needs first, validating my inmost feelings; the ones I thought were only mine to bear. I thought it was all mumbo-jumbo...I realize now how complex my relationship with myself, food, and emotions really is. I also realize WLS is only a small part of my overall journey.

Is there anyone else who is interested in keeping in touch?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I attend OA and CoDA. They are part of a multi faceted approach to recovery that also includes counseling.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is CoDA?

I have discovered that the steps are tougher than I thought!!! On the bright side, I've started to sense the emotions behind my urges, I just can't name them. Anyone experience this? It's like I disconnect or something.

Edited by MsAlaineus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Codependents Anonymous. I meant to say the multifaceted approach includes counseling for ME. Counseling is not part of OA or CoDA.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What, if any, are are your emotional goals?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What, if any, are are your emotional goals?

Well, that's a loaded question. What comes to mind immediately, and what is currently the topic of my counseling, is to break the pattern I've lived in for over two decades in my marriage, which is now ending. Reacting, anticipating everything (anxiety related to his behavior), fear, hypervigilance, putting his needs ahead of mine to avoid conflict. In terms of emotions, I guess I'd describe it as figuring out what I feel instead of reflecting what's around me. As an example of that, I'm house hunting now and I haven't a clue what my likes and dislikes are. That problem has haunted me since I was a child growing up in a crazy household. I couldn't even tell you my favorite color. I was truly stymied when it came to answering the question, "what do you want?" Making decisions is excruciating.

This head work is a full time job, I tellya. If I ever figure this out, I will rule the world.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had my lapband 2/2/10, I went from 256 to 163. I am now 188. I am at a stand still and I truly need help. I gave a supportive husband. But it not enough. I need a friend who is in a similar situation. I gained my weight during the past almost 2 years. I had surgery on my legs, and could not do very much exercise, I lost my brother and I was in a terrible depression. His death was 15 months ago and I am much better. However, my lapband mojo has left me. I used to be very strict, exercised a lot and never ever cheated. And now I am lost. Without any friends or support. Before I lost mr mojo, I was involved with sparkpeople.com. I was a co leader and creator of a lapband group. As the months went on, our team left one by one. That team is over, I still have access to the paper work and research it put together. If you have read Alex's book you will find 11 pages of me. I am Ilene of Florida and ny. However, my name here is cindysmom. That's how you can find me on bariatric pal. I have helped many people lose weight successively. Only to need help myself. NOW. I am now 67 years old. I reside in ft Lauderdale, fl. My email is also lizybird @ aol.com. Can someone be there

for me? Thanks Ilene

Edited by Cindysmom (Ilene)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm only a few weeks post op vsg and I'm already reverting to binging. I'm going to need support and therapy and to attend OA meetings. I've attended in the past but not consistently. I thought I had it under control but it's scary how I can binge even when it causes me pain and possibly cause post op complications to my still healing new stomach. Scared

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×