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Confession time: my quest for the "perfect" body



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@@Bluesea71 I've never been a vain person either. I don't even wear makeup or do anything more with my hair than comb it. For me, my plastic surgery wasn't about looking good, it was about feeling comfortable in my own skin. If plastic surgery can help you do that, then it may be a good route to take. It sounds like you do have a lot to love about your body and if your stomach and breasts are the only things you feel you need to address, then it doesn't sound to me like you will become obsessed and start having surgery after surgery. One thing to note about a Tummy Tuck is that you will have a significant scar. So, that's something to consider if you are concerned about looking good naked. I'm 100% used to my scar now and my husband and I are the only ones who ever see it. Even the skimpiest of underwear covers it. Also, if you have a breast LIFT along with your implants, you will have some scarring. So there are definitely trade-offs even if you do pursue plastic surgery, you won't be "perfect".

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To love yourself can be, and for some IS, the hardest thing to do. I look down at my body after being with it for 50-odd years and think of all it has been through. SOOOO many scars, soooo many surgeries over the years (we won't go into the why's or how-come's, not really necessary) and I ask myself "how on earth am I still here?" I see them as battle wounds, battles I have overcome by will, the support of my husband, and the grace of God. They will be to some absolutely hideous. To me they stand for something I can't even put into words. But I can say I am GLAD I have them, for without them I wouldn't be here. There more than likely will be more, before it's all said and done, and I'm as ready as I can be. I won't lie, it gets scarier each time, but if it means I can stay a little longer with the one God made for me, I'll do it! Makes me put things in perspective, makes me very thankful for a "hideous" body.

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Guy alert! This wasn't posted in the ladies forum, so I guess it's okay to chime in..... I recently got to my original goal weight of 154... then decided that a 5-lb buffer would be good... but then it seemed that under 150 would be really great because it's such a nice round number... and of course, I wanted a 5-lb buffer for that too... so then my goal became 145... but then I found two "ideal weight" calculations, one at 148 and another at 142... and guess what's in the middle of those two numbers.... 145! So that's my final goal and I'm really good with that. As long as I can live under 150, I'm happy. BUT..... When I look in the mirror I don't see a fat guy anymore, but I do see the loose skin and the sharpei belly. I can't claim childbirth as a contributing factor, so it's all on me. And this morning, I was doing a plank exercise without a shirt on. When I looked down, my loose skin looked like drapery fabric, from my chest to my belly. Yikes!! But I decided, WTF... I can do freakin' planks now! I look pretty decent in clothes and I just bought a new bathing suit. Now again, I'll admit that guys have it easier in so many ways. I'm never going to want to look good in a 2-piece, and I can hide my sharpei and my thigh wrinkles under my suit. But I've decided that this is the right weight for me. For the first time (perhaps EVER) I don't desire to get any thinner. And I identify with the slimmer guy in the mirror, not the heavier guy I used to be. He's dead to me! I guess what I'm getting at is that after such a wonderful journey to good health, we should feel great about where we are. If you decide to get plastics, that's fine, but don't ever deny your accomplishments. Embrace and Celebrate them, because you've earned them!!!

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On 3/25/2015 at 10:50 AM, CanyonBaby said:

WOW! You did a great job in your weight loss...congratulations! As for that negative image you have of yourself, I think most of us have that, because we have spent many years looking at our heavy bodies, and that image has impressed itself as a PERMANENT image (just in case that dreaded mirror EVER happens to crack and break...what would we do if we CAN'T see ourselves as FAT?). SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW? Be thankful. Always thankful. A grateful heart doesn't have time for anything else, as there is truly much to be thankful for. When we are in the process of giving thanks for every bit that has happened as a result of WLS, our image starts to change, FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!! Always look for the beauty that has been HIDDEN within, the beauty that was there (not physical beauty - not yet) but wasn't allowed out, because we perceived that PHYSICAL beauty is what we and other people only wanted to see. You have ALWAYS been beautiful, now that you are (PHYSICALLY) beautiful, you can set the REAL beauty free, what is INSIDE. So start comparing your old body to the new, SEE the beauty that is unfolding, REMEMBER what each area looked like, then BE CONTENT with what you now have, and be THANKFUL for the changes that have occurred!

There are MANY great swimsuits and undergarments that have spandex and other figure-enhancing qualities that help smooth-out the "imperfections", and they make us look AWESOME! Go and invest in them, for areas you think need some improvement. No one is perfect, even the models out there need airbrushing! Be kind to yourself, be thankful for EVERYTHING, and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ......look forward......

I have melting skin down my thighs. How do I hide this and we're coming into summer. I'm in Fla, jeans and leggings are hot. Any ideas? I'm considering the lower body makeover.

Screenshot_2017-03-24-19-37-55~2.jpg

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I get the melting thighs! Swim shorts. I had to define what was perfect for me A woman in my 40s. Plastics was a step in the healing process just as the weight-loss was a step. Some of it was letting go and allowing myself to understand with all my scars emotional and physical that I can still be the perfect image of who I am. The researcher and he wonders what the rates of body dysmorphia are in the LWS population


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I have a card I bought years ago that says:

'the great thing is, Once we let go of being everything, we have the opportunity to be gloriously ourselves"

"The real secret to the fabulous life is to Live imperfectly with great delight"

I already have the melting thighs, droopy boobs, batwings, and wrinkly neck . BUT, what I want more than anything is to retire and travel the country in our Airstream Travel Trailer with my husband. So I've chosen to let go of plastic surgery because it's more important for me to save that money for these travels with my husband (who is 15 years older than I am) then to look good in a bathing suit or shorts.

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5 hours ago, Airstream88 said:

I have a card I bought years ago that says:

'the great thing is, Once we let go of being everything, we have the opportunity to be gloriously ourselves"

"The real secret to the fabulous life is to Live imperfectly with great delight"

I already have the melting thighs, droopy boobs, batwings, and wrinkly neck . BUT, what I want more than anything is to retire and travel the country in our Airstream Travel Trailer with my husband. So I've chosen to let go of plastic surgery because it's more important for me to save that money for these travels with my husband (who is 15 years older than I am) then to look good in a bathing suit or shorts.

I love it. You have the airstream to travel this journey of life with Plus your spouse. Safe travels

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    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

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      1. NickelChip

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      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

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      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
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