Comfortable

[burtonbn 19]

Hi All-

My name is Brittany and I'm 25 years old. I'm currently trying to decide if Bariatric Surgery is the right route for me, given my circumstances. Basically, if I decide to go through with it all, I'd like to try to get the surgery done before I turn 26 in October. Until that point I'll have two insurances (through work and my dad-- thanks Obamacare!) and I figured that would be the cheapest way to get it done.

I have my first Doctor's consultation in a couple of weeks and I've been researching the options. Right now, sleeve or bypass seem best for me, but I just don't know. I think once I meet my doctor he will be able to give me his professional opinion on the matter.

I guess where I'm struggling right now is deciding if it's actually something I actually want to do. I've been overweight my entire life and have grown quite comfortable with my appearance. I'm very proportional for my size- and I've always thought of myself as attractive. I actually worry, very vainly, that I'll be less attractive if I lose weight. I'm dating someone who loves my curves and wouldn't change me for the world and I worry that if I lost weight he might look at me differently. (Although I think that's more of a personal concern, because I know he would support and encourage me if it meant I was being healthy).

I have infertility issues and my doctors have told me repeatedly that losing weight will only increase my chances at getting pregnant. I also know that losing my excess fat will make me healthier in the long run. But I'm so comfortable the way I am now. Was anyone else afraid to take that leap?

[IcanMakeit 1,319]

You're comfortable now, but will you be as the years go on and the health problems associated with obesity begin to manifest? Right now, you are young and beautiful and your body is resilient, but unfortunately, youth is temporary. Think about your long term health.

Also, pregnancy is complicated by obesity. If you are planning to become pregnant, losing weight first would be a very good thing to do.

It may be that you can lose weight and maintain the loss without surgery, but if you don't believe that's your reality, WLS may be your best option.

[Elode 8,093]

Well thats nice and complicated!! Lol! I see why you are struggling. Go old school and make a list of pros and cons and see which is better

Edited March 12, 2015 by Elode

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Don't diet or not diet or have WLS or not have WLS for anyone but yourself. This will change your entire life permanently and dramatically. It's extremely difficult. The rewards are enormous, but if you're not 100percent wanting it for yourself going in, IMO, you're not ready. Because once you are ready, nothing and nobody can stop you. Good luck!

[beachgurl84 456]

Don't diet or not diet or have WLS or not have WLS for anyone but yourself. This will change your entire life permanently and dramatically. It's extremely difficult. The rewards are enormous, but if you're not 100percent wanting it for yourself going in, IMO, you're not ready. Because once you are ready, nothing and nobody can stop you. Good luck!

This is exactly right! @@Elode has a good point too. IMO, something...some nagging thought, or image, or idea brought you to the point of thinking about WLS. Could be subconsciously you're not entirely comfortable with your body. Either way, something brought you here. I suggest continuing with your research and meeting with a surgeon. Until they take you to the OR, you can back out if it's not right for you. But some programs require 6 months before having the surgery so if you want to meet that October deadline, you should start ASAP.

I was in the same boat you were 5 years ago when I was 25. I think I even weighed the same as you. Then work and life and age got a hold of me and 80 pounds later I was miserable. I was no longer happy. My hubby & I want kids soon but I knew I didn't want to raise my kids like I was raised (unhealthy, food=reward) and I wanted to be healthy enough to be active with them. I wouldn't have been if I hadn't had the surgery. Keep in mind though it's at least a year after surgery before you can get pregnant. That's for your safety and the health of the baby. But you're still young and you have plenty of time for kids.

Again, until they wheel you in to the OR you can back out. But definitely only go through with it if it's right for you.

[Djmohr 6,965]

Someone else said this on an earlier post. You might be comfortable now and think your proportions are right for your height. I know because in my early 20s is when I really started to pack on the lbs. what you don't realize is that as you age comorbities become a big factor in how you feel. It absolutely will catch up with you and do damage. Some of that damage can be reversed and some cannot.

The older you get, the harder it becomes to lose. Pretty soon all your labs start coming back poor and before you know it you are in trouble.

I wonder if fear of surgery and fear of how your life will change is what is causing you to question yourself.

I would make one recommendation to you and that is you MUST be ready to make these changes or they won't work. I would suggest talking with a bariatric phsycologist, they may be able to help you work through this. When u go to your first consultation, I might suggest asking for the name of the psychologist so you can begin discussions now.

You personally must be ready and you should do this for yourself not anyone else.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[gowalking 10,790]

You don't necessarily have to be in the 'right frame of mind' to be ready for surgery. I went into it kicking and screaming. The difference is though, I knew I had no choice. I was facing life in a wheelchair if I didn't lose weight. That's a tremendous motivator. If you are not motivated because you are happy with your body and you have no co-morbidities, I question whether or not you can be compliant with post surgery protocol.

Only you know whether or not to move forward on this, but you asked for opinions, and I gave you mine. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[burtonbn 19]

Thank you so much for the honest responses and feedback. That is exactly what I needed to hear. You've all made a lot of good points. My health won't be good forever, and honestly, I'd rather spend more of my life working to develop a healthy relationship with food. If I wait, I'll only add pounds and continue down a road that will allow me to be unhealthy in my future.

Thanks to @@beachgurl for the comments about being a healthy role model for your children. Having WLS would 1. allow me to actually have children (hopefully)...and 2. make sure that I'll be around to see them grow up.

I think I'm just nervous about the whole thing. And deciding to make such a drastic change is scary. Any advice?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

My advice:

Learn as much as you can (read, ask questions, talk to your surgeon and other professionals, read and participate on BariatricPal)

Be open to using every resource available (support groups, counseling, etc)

Start getting healthier now (drink at least 64 oz Water a day, wean yourself off of carbonation/caffeine, exercise regularly)

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

One other bit of advice. Don't start a diet before you have your first appointment. Based on what I have learned here, depending on your insurance and your BMI, you may need a higher starting weight (just an observation).

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I cannot relate to getting WLS primarily for " looks" . This is a life altering decision - I did it to avoid obesity related disability and premature death. My looks improved way beyond my wildest dreams but that was bonus points.