I had chose not to tell many about my surgery. I told my parents (I work for my dad and needed my mom to watch my dog), three good friends, my sisters, and my boyfriend. I asked them all to respect my decision and not tell anyone... well my mother has told EVERYONE and my little sister has told some of her in-laws!!!! At my little sister's baby shower everyone kept coming up and asking me and I was fuming!!!! Am I wrong for being so irritated and for holding a grudge especially against my mother? (My mother and I don't get along and has never gotten along)

I hear you! Nobody should be telling your business, especially if you asked them not to. I'd be pissed to, and slightly Saddened that they have nothing better going on in their lives to talk about.....@@laceyrasely92

Thanks. My dad told me they are just happy for me but I feel that's not the reason if they actually was happy for me they would respect my wishes

Exactly. Ben Franklin said, "To whom thy secrets thou doest tell, to him thy freedom thou doest sell."

Well, since the cat is out of the proverbial bag, you can use the revenge factor as motivation to succeed. For sure they will all be your food Police now, under the disguise of just wanting to help. Take your own food with you every where so that they can't tempt you to eat a bite of this or that. It does not sound like they are going to be helpful at all. Good for you that you are taking control of your own health. Congratulations.

I am so sorry. I would be really mad. You respected them enough to tell them and then they did not keep it a secret. I only told my husband and one friend because I had an Aunt who did the surgery and I heard what my family would say about her.

~LA

I would be ticked majorly...that's why I didn't tell anyone.

I would be mad too. I haven't told anyone in my family that I had surgery 3 weeks ago.

It is done. Be angry, but be successful. Don't share numbers with this group. When people ask I say it isn't about a number and most retreat when I continue on with it all about health. Then I start boring them to death with ghrelin and their eyes glaze and say how nice and move on.

I wasn't going to tell anyone, but decided to tell my Lash lady. I trust her to stay hush about it. Everyone knows I've been dieting, exercising and changes my lifestyle so I guess it will just appear all my efforts are really paying off

Same thing as telling the lash lady...my hairstylist knows due to hair loss, my trainers, and that is about it. I just told a friend who has a friend who is slowly killing herself with weight complications. So I told her about the surgery and I am meeting her friend soon to casually bring up the subject.

Anyone have any good openings to casually bring up bariatric surgery?

@@Lani789 ... "I've heard you are wanting to get healthy and so do I. I have chosen a gastric sleeve bariatric surgery and before you think it's not for you, please hear me out." Obviously, you never want to say anything that makes someone feel attacked or judged and since you are doing it yourself, you are probably the best person to chat with her. Good luck.

I had chose not to tell many about my surgery. I told my parents (I work for my dad and needed my mom to watch my dog), three good friends, my sisters, and my boyfriend. I asked them all to respect my decision and not tell anyone... well my mother has told EVERYONE and my little sister has told some of her in-laws!!!! At my little sister's baby shower everyone kept coming up and asking me and I was fuming!!!! Am I wrong for being so irritated and for holding a grudge especially against my mother? (My mother and I don't get along and has never gotten along)

You are not wrong for being mad. Just don't hold a grudge. It only hurts you. However when my mother did this I told her. "I asked you to keep this in confidence. since you were unable to do that, do not expect to know anything else about my personal life. You have just shown me you are not to be trusted."

I meant every word of it. After I said my peace I let it go.

I have had this same issue. It is a macho pride thing for me. This is the first time I have asked for help. I look at this as an addiction and that this was my salvation....a new start. I am embracing it now. Telling people when they ask. You will always have hateful people in your life and honestly....screw them. It is your life, your choice and it definitely wasn't the easy one. I tell people all the time that if they think this was easy, stick to my diet for the last 28 day while i pump CO2 up your ass until you feel like your gonna pop. Most understand after that explanation. Shrug it off and embrace the choice you made to change.

I had a slightly similar experience. I told only my Mom and my partner. The main reason was that I found needing surgery in the first place embarrassing.

My partner told his Mom and Sister, which annoyed me at first.

But then I thought about it, and I realised how much I was talking to him about the surgery and how supportive he was being. And I realised that he had no one to talk to about it aside from me. And there were things he didn't want to discuss with me in case it made me worried (like his concerns about the risks of surgery). I realised that actually I was being slightly selfish expecting him to deal with the burden all alone.

Sure he had me, but of course my preoccupation was how the surgery would affect me. He needed someone he could discuss his fears and concerns with.

Now, that sounds different to your case, with your Mom telling lots of people - that sounds totally unnecessary. But I agree with others - let it be a lesson and move on. The only person who loses by you holding on to a grudge is you.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. ????

First off, I'm so sorry. We have enough stress in our lives without people adding to it. When I started this process, I told everyone about it. I wanted people to know I was LOUD and PROUD that I was taking conrol of my life back. I have no shame. I will say that when my Fiance told some of his friends that I don't know, I was upset. Because then I had total strangers asking me about my journey. I understand your want and need for privacy. And I'm sorry that was violated. All you can do now is voice your hurt to those family members and from now on, keep your private stuff private. But don't be private because you are ashamed. Hold your head up high. You're a WARRIOR!!

Congratulations on your journey!!