livingstone

I'm sorry you've gone through this. But there is good news. First, you still have an awesome tool in the form of a small pouch tummy, and second, you have recognised where you need change. I've also regained about 40% of what I lost - I'm a bit further out (6 years in March) so I can probably eat a bit more. But like you, my problem was with the sweets - chocolate, crisps, ice cream all went down a treat for me. Your first step is to get on the scale. Figure out what you're dealing with. Who knows - it might not even be as bad as you imagine. But until you know what you're dealing with, you can't start to turn it around. Once you know what you need to lose, then you can start building a plan that works for you to lose it. Work out how many calories you burn, work out how many calories you need to consume to lose a healthy 1 or 2 lbs a week. Don't be tempted to speed things up too much with massive calorie deficits - it might work for a bit but it won't be sustainable. Aim for slow and steady. The key thing is to get back to using your pouch as your best tool. Plan protein heavy meals at regular points through the day. The aim isn't necessarily to say 'I'm never having sweets', it is to create the conditions where you don't want the sweets, because you're always nicely full and satisfied from your last meal. Have some healthy snacks to tide you through the day. I agree too about tracking your calories. I use MyFitnessPal. To work well, you need to be able to measure your food accurately. That can be a pain in the bum when you're out and about going to work, but if you're working from home, then this can be really helpful. For me, it's much easier to measure and record my food intake when I'm doing 95% of my eating at home. Recording what you eat before you eat it is helpful for making better choices, and measuring before you eat is helpful for portion control. And measuring your calories also has another advantage: it lets you know how much you have to play with. If you plan your meals and record them straight off, each morning, you'll then know how much you can have in snacks. It depends on your strategy - I know some on here prefer cutting snacks out completely, not having them in the house. That may work for you. If it doesn't, the only approach that works for me is allowing myself some snacks but making sure they are within my calorie limit, and I try to have them at night after dinner. If I didn't do that, I would absolutely fall off the wagon entirely.

When you say you are hungry all the time, do you mean that you don't have restriction? If you eat a protein rich like, say, a chicken breast or a small steak - does that still leave you hungry? Or do you mean you feel head hunger all the time? If you actually feel physically hungry even after eating enough to fill your pouch, then that may be an issue around the restriction. But if it's head hunger, I can certainly relate. The drivers for my eating are rarely actual hunger and often boredom, stress etc. The problem is that this messes up our bodies' ability to recognise the difference between actual hunger and head hunger. I don't know a huge amount about the bypass surgery or any revision surgery, but I think they're unlikely to address the more fundamental issues you might have with food and how you eat.

I do. I was able to drink carbonated drinks without a problem from a few months after surgery. And I went back to drinking diet coke. I've recently tried to cut way back on it - none during the week, but allowed at weekends - because I had regained about 40 lbs and need to get rid of it. I don't know if Diet Coke contributed - my eating habits deteriorated, and that was the main reason for regain. But as others have said, there are many reasons other than calories Diet Coke is not good for health. However, I was clear with myself when I had surgery that nothing was 'off the table' - my surgery was a tool, but I'm not someone who can do the whole 'I will never ever eat/drink this again'. Everything in moderation is where I need to get to. I haven't quite mastered it (hence the regain) but I am sure that that is still the right approach for me. I'd be miserable if I thought I'd never again have Diet Coke (or chocolate, fried chicken or any other foods that made me obese in the first place).

Hi guys - I'm in a similar boat. Sleeved March 2015 at 292lbs. Got down to 177lbs. Was pretty happy there but was aiming for 165. Started to gradually gain - by Jan 2020 I was up to 200, and then because of the pandemic and lockdown (boredom eating mainly) I was up to 220 this January. So I've not regained all my weight, but still regained about 40% of it. I'm on week three of trying to lose my regain. Down 10lbs so far (but some of that in week 1 was probably water weight). This is what has been working for me: 1. Keep it simple. It's calories in vs calories out. I tried Keto for two days and was so miserable that it was never going to be sustainable. So I'm just going for a straightforward trying to consume 1000 calories less than I burn each day - i.e. less than 1750. 2. Within that calorie allowance, I allow myself to eat anything I want, subject to the following rules. 3. My first calories get used on a protein heavy breakfast, lunch and dinner. Only after I've logged all of those do I get to incorporate snacks. 4. No drinking with meals or 30 minutes either side of a meal. But otherwise lots of water. 5. No fizzy drinks except at weekends. I never had a calorie problem with fizzy drinks as my weakness was Diet Coke. But now I only drink sugar-free cordial (Robinson's Orange and Mango or Orange and Pineapple for those in the UK). 6. If I want a snack, I have to have a drink (water or cordial) first to see if that stops the craving. 7. Everything - and I mean everything - I eat is measured and recorded on MyFitnessPal before I eat it. It helps me see the impact of a particular choice on my calorie levels for the day, and sometimes leads me to make a different choice. 8. Six days of the week, I must be under 1750 calories. One day a week (usually Sunday) I allow myself up to 2500 calories but only if I have 'banked' enough calories during the week. So if, say, on Monday I consume 1500 calories rather than 1750, those 250 go into the bank and I allow myself to use them on Sunday (up to the maximum of 2500, which is roughly what I burn in an average day of activity). I've been doing that since 4 January, and have gone from 220lbs to 210lbs. I am aiming for 2lb loss a week for the next three months, and then to slow it down to about 1lb a month for another three or four months.

I agree with everything that others have said about your husband's behaviour being totally out of order - that is just not how to respond to someone you love when they're making a difficult decision. I also had to have a CPAP machine a number of years ago - my husband made fun of me but in a lighthearted and jokey way (making fun of the way it made my look like Darth Vader etc). But that's really different from trying to influence you into making decisions that are not right for you or your health. All I would say, so you're fully prepared: the surgery can make you super emotional. When I had it, there were times in the hospital when I would burst out crying (I was a 30 year old guy and not a crier normally). When I came home, one day I just burst out crying. I think it's a combination of hormonal responses to surgery, plus there is an element of 'grieving' for loss of food you have had an unhealthy relationship with, plus even though you won't be able to eat, you may still have head hunger. All of that plays havoc with our emotions. It's fine, and it definitely passes - for me, I was quite down for about two weeks after surgery and then felt tons better. But I say all of this because when you feel like that, that is when you most need to be around someone who can support you. There will probably be times after having surgery when you think it was the biggest mistake of your life. You need someone who can remind you why you did it, and someone who can make you feel better about yourself. If there is somewhere else you could stay while you recover (you mentioned extended family?) then that may be something to consider. If not, please do just mentally prepare for how you'll feel, and make sure you have people you can call, whether it's friends or a counsellor, or who can visit you, who will help to lift you up.

Hey OP - I’m in the same position as you but a bit further out. Sleeved in March 2015. HW 290, lost 112. Gained back about 20 by last Christmas and then over the past year have gained another 25. I now work from home all day since the pandemic which was a disaster: I could snack on unhealthy things all day long! But all you or I can do is get back on track little by little. We’re not failures. We’re human and we’re fallible. I’ve noticed that it’s when I feel like a failure I eat worse. Makes sense right? If I think poorly of myself why would I foresake instant gratification for long term benefits? I’m a failure so I don’t deserve that care, right? Nope. That negativity is as much a challenge as chocolate!!! I can’t give any advice since I’m in the same boat as you. But remember how awesome you are. You took one of the biggest decisions - to have life altering surgery - because future you deserved it. You lost weight. You have achieved tons. You are not a failure. And you deserve all of the good stuff that’s going to happen when you start to make good decisions to get back on track.