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Please help to save my wife



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In Oct 2013 my wife almost died and would have if Dr. Bagnato hadn't saved her life. She had lap band surgery, NOT done by Dr. Bagnato, and because of prior reflux surgery she could not vomit when sick but only dry heave which she did many times after lap band surgery. After being sick one evening she became very ill feeling extreme pain in her stomach area. We went to the ER and a MRI was done showing that the lap band had slipped and had tightened up around a top section of her stomach so tight that it had completely cut off blood flow to this part of the stomach and had caused the tissue to die. She was medevac'd to a hospital in Macon Ga where Dr Bagnato cut off the band, removed the dead tissue section of her stomach and basically saved her life. If this had not been done gangrene would have set in and like wildfire killed my wife within a very short time frame. Since the surgery my wife has not been able to intake enough food and nutrients to maintain her body and general health. She has gone on a non-intentional weight loss spiral but has not leveled out. We have tried just about every Protein Drink on the market, tried many small meals and more frequent during the day and night, a very long list of different type foods but now we have hit a brick wall and if we do not figure out a way to get nutrients into her body I am afraid that my wife will eventually die of malnutrition. As a last resort we recently went to mayo Jacksonville who did an entire line of tests but basically told us her options were a feeding tube or to eat baby food for the rest of her life. She is only 49 yrs old. I beg all of you, please, please give advice, guidance and if you are a person of faith prayers will also help, anything and everything that may lead to once again saving my wife's life. Please help.

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How terrible. I'm so sorry this has happened to her. I am no expert so cannot advised the best course of action, though I have already said a prayer for her.

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Opt for the feeding tube for now so that her body has the chance to catch up. I have a friend who has had the feeding tube for 6 months now and her weight loss has finally leveled out. It will give them time to think of a better solution. This may be your only course of action at this time other then a prolonged stay at the hospital with pic line feeding.

I am not a Dr. but I have seen good results with the tube. If you are serious about this it is probably at this point the best option. You must think of this as a temporary fix for now.....

Hope this helps...

One more thing.....Please encourage her to have a positive attitude as much as possible. As it is 50% of the healing process.

Personally I have been through hell and back for this surgery and if you don't have a positive attitude your body responds to it all negatively. I know it sounds strange but believe me it helps a lot!

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What an ordeal, so sorry this has happened. I don't understand why any surgeon would band or sleeve anyone with such severe reflux, but slippage is possible with any band..perhaps just bad luck.

So, she had the band removed over a year ago and all she can eat is baby food? If she can eat baby food, why can't she eat other soft food like greek yogurt, Protein drinks, cottage cheese, refried Beans etc,?

I have some things I do to soothe my tummy but I dont really understand her situation so I am not sure it woud help. I use an herbal remedy called DGL Licorice that c alms and soothes minor tummy irritation.

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Thanks so much Ms. RJ and the tube is for sure something we will rethink especially at this point.

CowGirlJane, we were given all of the proper warnings of band with a prior reflux surgery problems and because her blood sugar was completely out of control at that time, even though she had been wearing a pump for over a year, we felt that the risks were worth taking to get her blood sugar under control which was a success. We have not and will not try to put blame and the Dr for the band, again, we were given complete and total info and warnings of band surgery with prior reflux surgery. As for foods, I cannot list the different things we have tried, it would be too much for this post but right now she is able to eat Eggo's Blueberry without too much pain and discomfort but that's about it at this time and no, we realize no one can survive on a strict Eggo diet. That is why I am now here begging for help, advice, prayers. Thank you also for the info on DGL. We will look into it.

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Ms. RJ. Thank you very much for stressing the importance of a positive attitude. I am another that agrees that having one does way more than most people ever know or expect and more so... how much having a negative one can cause damage at every level of our existence, physically, mentally and even spiritually. Thanks and God bless you.

Craig

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Okay, so I have a better idea now. It is not that she can only eat mushy, but just in general she has major food intolerances.

There are probably people here who have much more experience with this, but about a year ago (which would have been 2 years post revision to sleeve) I went through a time when I couldn't eat due to no appetite. I didn't puke, it was just that everything made me naseaus. I thought it was a physical problem, but it actually turned out to be more emotional in nature, and once I STOPPED eating, getting restarted was a challenge. It is like once the tummy is used to undereating, you become prone to eating less and less. It is ironically much like overeating.... so what started as an emotional upset became a physical issue for me.

Since I didn't have a mecanical reason for my issue, i had to "work at it" and did recover and and am doing awesome now.

Okay, DGL Licorice is a soothing herbal remedy you can buy at Vitamin Shoppe etc for about 10 bucks. They are these big tablets that you bite into a couple of pieces (meaning, a few crunches) and then tuck between your lip and gum and just slowly let it melt. It coats your throat, and tummy in a soothing way. It doesn't instantly fix things, but it just calms things down... I used them 1-2 a day when i was feeling naseaus. over time, it made a huge difference and I keep them on hand even now.

the other thing I did was find the circumstances/food that I could tolerate and started by carefully eating those. In my case, the key to the root cause of my problems were that I could eat fairly well if I was out with friends, it was being home alone when I simply could not eat. Well, I started going out more so I could get some food in every day. In your wife's case, perhaps just very gently eating the things that seem more appealing. If toasted waffles work i will speculate that crackers perhaps with a bit of cheese or Peanut Butter might work? I think toasted bread, crackers and stuff has a texture that is likely easier than raw bread type products. I suspect raw veggies are hard to eat. Maybe soft fish is edible?

I would also seriously try to find a palatable Protein drink or make homemade smoothies. sometimes people can drink more nutrition and calories than they can eat. Example might be a greek yogurt, fruit based drink with perhaps a bit of unflavored Protein powder in. If she can tolerate Peanut Butter, that adds fats and calories too. Warning: in my early months peanut butter made me sick because it is so rich, so go easy at first.

Has she tried Protein Bars? i avoid them in general because for me they go down too easy (but they helped me when i was struggling with eating). I wonder if she finds a wonderful tasting one she can kind of slowly munch on them? They often are very dense in calories and carbs in addition to the Protein.< /p>

I hope others with food intolerances pipe in with ideas!

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Listen to anything RJ says. She has been through it all, and above anyone else on this site has the most valid and respected perspective on surviving complications.

CowgirlJane is another bariatric sister who has endured through some discouraging circumstances that would have brought orthers down.

I am so sorry that your wife is struggling, but I am confident that you will find some comfort here.

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Thanks CGJ and Miss Mac.

CGJ - For my wife it doesn't seem to matter if it is liquid or food, it seems to be a space thing. No matter what the substance she can only intake a small amount, lets say apprx the size or mass of an Eggo. Anymore and it causes enough discomfort that only laying down can help. She has found a Protein drink that she can stomach but if she drinks that she cannot eat and neither by themselves alone are enough to provide enough to keep her strength up to last throughout the day. For a long time now she goes to work and when she walks in the door after work she has barely enough energy to feed the pets and it is to the couch or bed for the rest of the evening and night. For a while her Dr apts came back with good test results which was strange because she was not eating correctly and that in itself is scary because our bodies take whatever nutrients it is short on from bone, (calcium), and other nutrients from muscle and other body tissue which is what we believe has been happening...up to recently. Her latest Dr apt came back with low levels of nutrients so we worry what that means? That's why I feel it is now an emergency.. what happens when the body has no other means to extract from itself the nutrients needed to survive?? it begins to die? Do organs begin to malfunction and eventually shut down?? I know the answer to what happens after that. :-(

She has also been sick to her stomach a good bit lately which causes more of that mental thing that makes her not want to eat so it's a vicious and I'm afraid deadly cycle eventually.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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