"Fat Acceptance" Did Me No Favors - Meandering thoughts about my psych eval

[ProjectMe 909]

@@Sharon1964 Just wanted to say thank you for sharing. Felt like I was reading about myself.

Edited January 18, 2015 by ProjectMe

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Good post.

Never joined fat acceptance movement but I personally accepted my fat because it was pretty permanently entrenched. I accepted it much like th moles on my arms...not what I would have picked but seem inevitable.

I lost 160# post sleeve and while many prefer to not see there former bodies I look at my before pics regularly. They give perspectives. Like, if I am discouraged that my size 4 no stretch pants are a bit snug post holidays....it is a blessing to have those before shots of me busting out the seams of 3x yoga pants. It does two things...1. Reminds me gaining 5-10 is NOT 100# and 2. It reminds me of what I am NOT gonna do which is become obese again. I honestly wasn't that beautiful just really big.

Glad you got a little tension released talking through this. I went to a counselor preop as a last ditch"fix my brain" effort so I don't need WLS. She was very anti WLS and the day she gave me a book where a woman had named her eating disorder "Ed" was the day I realized we were on very different crazy trains. Like wow, I didn't relate to that book at all. So, surprisingly she gave the insurance letter for WLS.

[esskay77 785]

@@CowgirlJane -- how did you get down to a size 4??!!! I am stalled and really need some advice/help!! That is so awesome that you have done that but that therapist was way screwed up!!! Geez.

[kyrickchick64 468]

Funny thing, my psych exam dr refused to okay my surgery because "i needed to like the skin I was in" so my surgery which I wanted to have in December before my 2015 deductibles kicked in had to wait because I had to do 3 months of therapy. My therapist that I went to said that was ridiculous. No one should/could be happy dealing with this much weight between my replaced knees, bad back, super high bp and almost diabetic and to big to fly comfortably, and not being able to find clothes that didn't look like a tent or just living in sweats. He told me don't settle. Have the life you want! And he discussed my fears with me and okayed my surgery which is a week from Monday!

Edited February 20, 2015 by kyrickchick64

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sharon,

I should have said this earlier, but ...

You're a wonderful writer.

Respect.

[Julie norton 2,850]

I particularly related to the post on the level of parents wanting us to be "better".

Felt to me like " not good enough".

I know they tried the best they knew... But telling a 13 yr old to diet and getting diet pills set up years of adult up and down weight gain and loss.

I look at old family pics and damn. I was good enough... Just didn't get the message from anyone. Sigh

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Sharon,

I should have said this earlier, but ...

You're a wonderful writer.

Respect.

Thank you!

[Cupcake 801]

First I would like to say congrats on your choice on being healthy, I am sorry that you have experience such challenges in your life but it has made you stronger and the person that you are now which is a strong, smart, person. This new chapter in your life will show you how strong you have become. I also agree with your statement that fat acceptance is something new and that I personal believed that society has created instead to build self esteem. I also agree that we tell ourselves we are really not that big and compare ourselves to others until we really look at ourselves and address why we are abusing food, As you stated we all have abuse food rather it was boredom, not feeling love, not being accepted, or some bad event in our lives. This surgery has afforded us the opportunity to have a second chance in life and I wish you and everyone else a happy new start.

[Kimberly Bouche-Perez 48]

I too, keep hearing, "you have such a pretty face, why don't you just 'try' to loose some weight, it's just will power"

I also heard when I told the few people I told about the uregery:

"you are taking the easy way out"

"you will just gain it back"

The best one of all was, "Your gonna die on the table"

Well needles to say, I didn't, lol

But I do agree with you on that weight is not just what you put in your mouth but why.

I now have the "problem" that I am too skinny, or at least that's what the DR is saying

My eating disorder has now showed it's ugly head, once again.

i am in theropy and working on it. You should keep up with the theropy. It really does WORK. Just find one tht is right for YOU.

One thing that me and my theropist find amazing is that the Phyc never asked me if I had ever had an eating disorder?

My theropist asked me this when we first started cause she was amazed that even with a HUGE eating disporder I still got surgery.

I just tiold her, "well, they never aked the quetion and I wasn't gonna bring it up cause I wanted the surgery so bad"

Maybe they should ask this so you can start to get help BEFORE the suegery.

Keep up with it, you will be amazed how quicly the wieght startes going off once you have the surgery. I saw that you are having the band, so it will be a little slower. BUT YOU WILL DO IT1111

I am proud of YOU!

Keep up with post

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Thanks!

Oh, and I'm not having the band, I'm having sleeve gastrectomy.