I hate to get on here and vent but my mother in law drove me banonkers (bananna + bonkers) today, She invites me to walk with her down at the AG center, there are 2 trails there one goes 2miles around then there is a smaller trail that goes around some woods for about a mile around, now this is where I got my start, walking I told her about this trail, but since I have a treadmill I left off walking there when it turned off cold. Anyhow my mother in law is a ver fit person she walks on her own property behind her house up a logging trail 4 miles mostly uphill and a lot of it is steep, the AG center is mostly flat ground. Her and three other ladies have recently been walking down there every Sunday 4 miles, and asked me if I wanted to come. Immediatley she starts calling attention to how slow I am, 1st words out of her mouth were "Your going to have a hard time catching up." Then she turns and says she just can't walk at such a slow pace and is going to go on, I tell her to go ahead, she says "You see Angel we are going to walk ALL the way around" I understand that I told her just go on, but she's making wide circles like I have no idea what I'm in for. They go on ahead of me but I kept them in sight most of the walk. I walked three miles in all I went back to the car and found 10 dollars in the field on my way back, I was just really upset with how impatient she was being. To top it all off she gets back to the car and says pretty good for a beginner. grrrr.

@@James Marusek yeah that's what I was saying she's used to hill walking so this course is a breeze for her, it's not real hard for me, I just can't walk at a real fast pace even on a treadmill I only go 2mph and I feel like I'm running I'm only 4'10 so I have a child's stride when I get lighter I might be able to go faster right now I walking real fast just isn't something I can do.

@@ProjectMe well the trail is a big circle and like I said not my 1st time there everyone has a different pace, if you invite someone of a different fitness level to walk with you it is nicer if you can be patient with them, either walk with them or by all means don't make fun of them the whole way.

I totally agree. If you invite someone to do your hike & they can't keep up, suck it up for a day and slow down. It's one day, and you don't have to hike with that person again.

Your MIL does sound spunky, which is fine. But there is no reason on earth to humiliate someone who is clearly laboring. It's just uncalled for.

Years back, when I had lost close to 100 pounds, I became a hiking freak. I took my sister to the canyon one day, and she was not able to keep up. So I slowed down and stopped with her when she needed to stop. No big deal. People cannot (should not) expect that someone who is clearly "working on" fitness, can necessarily keep up. No need to rub it in their face to make yourself shine.

Edited January 12, 201511 yr by mrsto

@amponder is she much taller than you? The inexcusable humiliation aside, maybe she doesn't realize you have a shorter stride if she's taller. I am 5'7 and just have a long stride and have to pace myself for friends that are inches shorter than me, sometimes I don't realize they are taking 2-3 steps for every 1 of mine and they will be like "barb you are killing me SLOW DOWN" LOL

@@blondiebabs someone in the group reminded her of my height when I finished the 1st lap, the lady that did that actually stood and waited for me to finish she isn't unusually tall she's 5'3 but that's still 5 inches taller than me, and add to it she has over developed leg muscles from all the hill walking she does and she doesn't weigh much either not scrawny but she's not carrying extra weight, if she thought I was slow down there sunday, she should have seen me before when I started walking weighing 321 it took me an hour to walk half a mile now it takes me 45 minutes to walk 2.

If you're not the lead sled dog, the scenery never changes.

@@amponder Good for you!!! You went out there with nothing to prove and you proved that you are a better sport then your MIL.

Keep walking for your health and happiness at your own pace. When/if she ever asks you to join her group again you can tell her no thank you. No need to stoop to her level of nasty, you don't need to prove anything to little old ladies that only feel good when making others feel bad.

You know slow and steady wins the race. Quick and sassy fall on their face.

Your going to have a hard time catching up."

@@amponder

next time you go walking tell her you are taking the shorter trail for now (no explanations necessary)

you would love it if she could join you

but if she says no, its too easy or whatever

nicely tell her to enjoy her walk

and you will meet at the car

when MIL said "pretty good for a beginner."

sounds a little condescending to me, but................

keep up the good work

you are doing great

90 lbs down!!!!

kathy

congrats

Edited January 12, 201511 yr by proudgrammy

I think she did it so she could feel better about herself or something! Next time I would say NO THANKS.

@@lisacaron

You know slow and steady wins the race. Quick and sassy fall on their face.

This is going on my face book wall LOL

I hate to get on here and vent but my mother in law drove me banonkers (bananna + bonkers) today, She invites me to walk with her down at the AG center, there are 2 trails there one goes 2miles around then there is a smaller trail that goes around some woods for about a mile around, now this is where I got my start, walking I told her about this trail, but since I have a treadmill I left off walking there when it turned off cold. Anyhow my mother in law is a ver fit person she walks on her own property behind her house up a logging trail 4 miles mostly uphill and a lot of it is steep, the AG center is mostly flat ground. Her and three other ladies have recently been walking down there every Sunday 4 miles, and asked me if I wanted to come. Immediatley she starts calling attention to how slow I am, 1st words out of her mouth were "Your going to have a hard time catching up." Then she turns and says she just can't walk at such a slow pace and is going to go on, I tell her to go ahead, she says "You see Angel we are going to walk ALL the way around" I understand that I told her just go on, but she's making wide circles like I have no idea what I'm in for. They go on ahead of me but I kept them in sight most of the walk. I walked three miles in all I went back to the car and found 10 dollars in the field on my way back, I was just really upset with how impatient she was being. To top it all off she gets back to the car and says pretty good for a beginner. grrrr.

Don't subject yourself to nonsense. It's hard enough to force yourself to exercise at times without dreading the feedback from who should be your support system.

Don't go again, and if she asks why, tell her.

Edited January 12, 201511 yr by LipstickLady

@amponder lol yep... back to typical can't make some MIL's happy no matter what. Having a happy and healthy soul is more important than being able to keep up with the fastest horse on the track, maybe if she knew that she'd be a little nicer. =)

This, too, is why I don't walk with others. I've been walking all my life -- up and down the Sierras, Rockies, Ozarks, Alps and Himalayas. In the mountains--the real mountains--there is respect for everyone's individual pace. Real mountain walkers would never act like your MIL. She acts like an ass and probably is an ass.

It doesn't matter how slow or fast your pace is. What matters is that you get where you're going when you want to get there. Your pace. Your choice.

Enjoy yourself.

I prefer to walk alone because I dance to the beat of my own drum....

@@blondiebabs someone in the group reminded her of my height when I finished the 1st lap, the lady that did that actually stood and waited for me to finish she isn't unusually tall she's 5'3 but that's still 5 inches taller than me, and add to it she has over developed leg muscles from all the hill walking she does and she doesn't weigh much either not scrawny but she's not carrying extra weight, if she thought I was slow down there sunday, she should have seen me before when I started walking weighing 321 it took me an hour to walk half a mile now it takes me 45 minutes to walk 2.

You are doing beautifully! Wait until a year from now......you'll be walking circles around her.

"Thanks - I know I've got YEARS to get to where you are."