Non existent support from spouse

[Loving Lenci 16]

I'm 3 days post op and I am slightly antsy! I am hoping this decision is going to be well worth it. My husband isn't as supportive as many others. He actually brought home 24 cupcakes and a gallon of ice cream when I asked him to get me sugar free Popsicle's. Friends say he's just scared but I honestly think he's selfish and manipulative though I'm not hungry at all I just couldn't fathom why he'd do that. Is there anyone else going through this similar situation with a loved one?

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

I'm very grateful that my husband has always been supportive. I agree with your friends. I think your husband is a jerk for doing that. How incredibly selfish of him to attempt to damage your efforts. He needs to get his head on straight.

I know that sounds harsh but I can't help it. Going through this surgery and recovery is difficult enough WITH support.

I hope you can keep your eye on the prize with a saboteur in your midst.

I think he needs to get over himself and support you in your efforts.

You may have to be the adult in this situation and BE STRONG and DRIVE ON.

I wish you well and pray you have strength.

Blessings,

Kathleen

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

If my husband did that, I would take the cupcakes and ice cream and put them down the garbage disposal.

That dude has a serious problem. Take care of yourself.

[ProjectMe 909]

Just as a comparison...when I told my husband about WLS, he walked with me and didn't accept any of my excuses when I didn't feel like working out. He even fussed at the kids for going near my food.

My husband has lost almost 50 pounds throughout this process. I have lost 75 pounds because of his support.

I can't even fathom someone who is supposed to be your rock engaging in such a childish, selfish, and downright mean behavior. Don't make excuses for him. What he did just sucks....Believe in your self worth and FIGHT for your health. If you don't ...then who will?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You can't control other's actions and you can't make "bad food" go away. Yes, he's an ass, but the tests he's laying before you are your chance to conquer your food "addiction".

Be grateful for the challenge and the dumpster out back. Utilize both to your advantage.

[AvaFern 3,516]

Your husband sounds like a manipulative tool, no offense. That being said, did he get you the sugar free popsicles as well or just the junk? My logic is that simply because I can't eat certain things, I have no intention of making anyone else suffer with me. I often cook food that I don't eat because I enjoy cooking, food makes people happy, and if someone wants to have a big old cupcake with ice cream, more power to 'em.

Outside of that though, if he seriously only brought home that junk and didn't get you what you asked for so that you could eat your popsicle and he could eat his ice cream, I would be exceptionally mad and rightfully so.

[Garifab_VSG 122]

Is your husband overweight/obese? That could be a reason for sabotage - if he doesn't want to be obese alone, but doesn't want to do anything about it, either.

I have also heard of some husbands feeling threatened by the surgery because post-weight loss, their wives will garner much more attention from other men, and content husbands don't want to deal with that "threat." I'm not generally speaking, but I have known three people whom this has happened to. They all ended up separating/divorcing.

Edited January 9, 2015 by Garifab_VSG

[Essence46 493]

Wow! Sorry to hear this. I really am. You are going to be tested alot (it's sad it has to be by your spouse though). Consider this your first one. Throw the cupcakes, ice cream and anything else he brings into the house. Use it as motivation. Good luck to you.

[Hindy74 7]

I can just see my husband doing it to me