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Why can't I just stop? (Eating until it hurts)



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I had my vertical sleeve done on December 12th and have an appointment today with the nurse to add mushy foods to my diet.

I've seen that many people say they kind of lose interest in eating after surgery but unfortunately can tell that i'm not one of those people. Even at the stage I'm at now I find myself pushing the limit and stopping past my satisfied point at the "this hurts" point. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to reprogram myself. Is there anyone else in a similar situation to mine? Have you had any success with anything? therapy?

How much damage am I doing each time I stop past the satisfaction point?

I have an appointment next week with a therapist recommended by my surgeon. I figured that may be a good place to start. Any other ideas on things that might help me?

Thanks, in advance and I'm looking forward to being a part of this group.

Desi

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I have certainly not lost interest in food. I am trying to keep my grazing in check. My doctor wants me to only have 3 meals a day and so far, I've had trouble with that. I do great during the day but snack in the evenings. I track every bite and I'm not going over on calories. But yes, I still struggle with it. I'm trying all sorts of things like going to extra classes that my doctor offers and trying to do things like paint my nails in the evening to distract me. I really wish I would have just lost all interest in food.

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PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE be sure to drink all your liquids. People sometimes mistake thirst for hunger. I don't know how much damage you may be doing but after going through the surgery--you don't want to continue this practice. I find it's best to distract myself when I get the urge to eat when I don't need to. I have to turn my "fat" brain's attention to something else so I'm not eating.

Counseling is your best bet. I would not be where I am without working on my head. Unfortunately, there is no magic switch to flip after surgery--you have to continue to fight the battle of the urges to eat.

Good luck,

Kathleen

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At this point you are putting your health and your life at risk by over eating. The nerves in your stomach were cut during surgery and don't have the same full sensation that you will get when your stomach heals. You must eat the amount specified by the doctor and no more so that you don't cause a leak. You need to see a therapist sooner than later and address this behavior before you do serious damage.

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Overeating can do lots of damage. You might experience dumping, which is very painful. You could have nausea and start to vomit. You might just have a bad bellyache for a couple of hours. You might even stretch your stomach over the long run, which kind of defeats the purpose of the WLS. So this is the kind of thing you need to stop doing, and you are smart enough to ask and to check with your doctor, which shows you're halfway on the way to success.

I was an overenthusiastic portioner for quite a few weeks. I think it's a matter of being used to consuming a certain amount. But after finding myself uncomfortable too many times (nights are the worst!), I did the following:

I put my meal in the container (glass, bowl, plate, whatever) and then remove half of it. Really. My eyes want a whole lot, but I tell myself that this 1/4 cup or 1/2 cup is the correct amount, and if I'm hungry later I can come back for seconds. A lot of this is self-induced panic on my part, and it's probably one of the reasons I gained so much weight. (Lots of food-centered drama in my house growing up.)

The second thing to do is to eat s-l-o-w-l-y. Small sips and bites, really small. Tiny spoons and forks. Let the food sit in your mouth for a bit, chew it up while tasting it, feel it going down your throat and into your stomach. I found that paying attention to the food really helped. Don't watch the tube or talk on the phone while you're eating until you've got this part mastered.

You are probably like me in that you truly enjoy the act of eating. I adore having food in my mouth. It's a genuine pleasure on so many levels. But now we have new plumbing that just won't allow us to eat like before. So respect your tiny stomach, listen to her, and think about feeding her, rather than your mouth.

Keep us posted on how you're doing. We've all been there and understand.

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Therapy may be the best solution at this point. You need to figure out a way to connect what you know in your head with your actions and right now you aren't doing that. One short term suggestion might be to make your meals smaller. Reduce the portion size you make by 25 or 30%. Then once the bowl/plate is empty, you're done. Immediately do something else. I would recommend walking in place. Do that for at least 15 mins. If you can do it for a half an hour. By that time you need to start drinking Water. Sit down and drink your water.

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I had a problem with speed eating and getting overfull because my brain didn't get the message until too late. My RD told me about an app for my phone. It is called eat slower and you can set a timer for between bites. I found it very helpful and it reminded me to put my fork down between bites and to chew the food well. I also use children's plates and silverware. I don't seem to eat nearly as much or as fast. Still a struggle sometimes though. My sister who is 6yrs out does it all second nature. I am still waiting *sigh*

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Thank you for the thoughts and suggestions. I'm definitely going to try smaller silverware and trying to force myself to eat slower. My main trouble is at night. I am not hungry but for some reason that is when the mental stuff kicks in and I start to feel deprived. I have a long way to go.

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Yep, you got some good advice above...stop doing that now! Use your self Control! You don't want to hurt your new stomach . It's now even close to being healed at this point. Just mention it to your surgeon And see what he/she has to say about it. Good luck.

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Thank you for the thoughts and suggestions. I'm definitely going to try smaller silverware and trying to force myself to eat slower. My main trouble is at night. I am not hungry but for some reason that is when the mental stuff kicks in and I start to feel deprived. I have a long way to go.

What can you do instead? Don't eat is not a solution. You've identified feeling deprved at night as a trigger for you. What can you do when they feeling hit? Play cards? Do a really difficult puzzle? Jog in place? Drink 16 ounces of Water?

When you know your vulnerable moments you have to make a contingency plan. It's the only way to change the behavior.

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I used to be a night eater, but I rarely am anymore. I sleep a whole lot better since there's less pain, and the high Protein helps keep me more full, too.

The main thing to do is to not panic about this. Have good foods high in Protein on hand for you to snack on, like string cheese or sugar-free yogurt. Toss out all of your junk food. (I used to be the tortilla chip and red wine queen at 3 am.) Know that if you wake up hungry, that's perfectly all right. Have a healthy snack, drink some Water, read a magazine, and then go back to bed. No foul, no loss. You will still be on track.

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Another thing is that, when you do eat, really focus on it. Don't do it in front of the TV or while you're running around, but take your time and enjoy it.

Easier said than done, I struggle with it myself, but when I'm trying to focus on too much at once it's easy to miss those signals that say, "you're done" until you're way past them. Especially early on when we're still figuring out how our new plumbing works!

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I have bigger eyes these days than I do a stomach. I get it. I'm sure we all get it. One thing I bought before I had surgery was small pretty bowls and plates. I went to the antique mall and bought depression glass dishes. They are really pretty and make me stop and think that each meal is to be slowed downed and enjoyed. I measure out my food and eat slowly. I also bought 1 cup size glad containers. When I cook I portion out the meal into these containers and refrigerate or freeze for the next time. I eat 3 small meals and 2 or 3 Snacks a day. I used to schedule them. I only ate at certain times and I only ate what was pre-portioned on my pretty little dishes. Now ...over 4 mths out, I don't have to eat by a clock but I still portion out my food. I eat when I get hungry. Its a habit now. Evenings are hard. Its a lonely or boring time...so its an emotional thing. Now instead of eating I crochet, read, call a friend and drink a lot of water! I am aware that I'm avoiding food. These things dont totally distract me from those thoughts about food but they keep me busy enough to talk myself out of eating. Surgery does not cure you of cravings, you have to mentally be aware and fight it. You just have to. Please stop over eating you will just hurt yourself. Please try, you don't want to end up back in the hospital. I hope some of these suggestions might help you. Good Luck!

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  • Hi.
  • So I had my surgery on 11/21/14. To date I have lost 50 pounds. When I started eatting after my 2-week f/u, I was allowed to only eat 2 tsp every 2 hours. I did this until about last weekend. I now eat 1/4 (2oz) every three hours. I eat at 6:30/9:30/12:30/3:30/6:30. I do not feel hungry.

Remember, your doctor only did surgery on your stomach and NOT YOUR BRAIN. If you want this to work, you need to really watch what you eat and ask yourself "Do I really want to have that food". I, too, have eatten until my stomach hurt, but after a few times, I decided it was not worth it. So I now think when I eat, I take a bite, put my spoon down for 1 minute, then I take another bite. I am making my BRAIN realize I am full, not my stomach anymore.

Good luck, you can do this. If you worked this hard to reach this point, then you will continue to do what you want until you SUCCEED.

Annamarie

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Thank you everyone so much for the encouragement. I am determined to make this behavior end.

Desi

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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